So anxious

I dont no where to begin. I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer, which I had an operation to remove with a lumpectomy, lymph node removed then had a second operation to remove more margins as it had spread further. Luckily they got it all but that was on December 6th , I’m still waiting for my chemo to start, unfortunately they are so busy , I am going on wednesday to see the oncologist.  I am so worried that the cancer will grow back whilst I’m waiting and I emotionally I am really really struggling. 

Am I crackers to think these things?

No you’re not crackers just normal !! Any delay causes anxiety and makes you worry about the cancer progressing but your surgeon has removed all your cancer so any treatment is to help stop it coming back.You also need time to recover from your ops before you have chemo -hopefully your oncologist will re-assure you about the timescales when you see him /her .

Hi Nicky


It’s a horrible situation to be in. We’re offered the best physical treatment but there’s less scope for dealing with the emotional trauma. It’s like ‘get on with it, you’ll get by.’ To some extent, that’s true - you will find your way through all this. And whatever you feel, it is normal - there will be hundreds. If not thousands of women feeling exactly the same thing. I found being completely open about my anxiety and phobias led to my getting the support I needed. Never be embarrassed about admitting you feel a wreck!


I can empathise with your worry about delay. I had my surgery in October 2018 and started my chemo on Christmas Eve. I imagined all sorts of horrors before my mind kind of switched off. NICE guidelines recommend a maximum of 90 days between surgery and chemo for best effect so you are well within the guidelines. As Jill pointed out, your cancer has been removed (that was the first thing my consultant told my husband when he came to check on me). But it’s hard not to think of those rogue cells that may have escaped sneaking round causing havoc. That doesn’t happen. That’s what the lymph nodes are for and they do a fine job. I had 19/21 nodes infected yet no evidence of spread anywhere else thanks to those nodes. I’ve now been officially NED (no evidence of disease) for a year now :) 


If you can, take someone you trust but who isn’t so emotionally involved when you see your oncologist. You may forget to ask your questions and you may find the answers sail over your head because it’s too full of emotions. It’s very useful to have someone pipe up and remind you of what you wanted to ask and to present you with notes to refer to. Personally, I didn’t want to know facts and stats - I just wanted them to get on with it - but practical information was essential, like possible side effects of treatments etc.


I wish you all the best next week. Meantime, avoid Google and focus on your emotional health. If you want some suggestions, ask the forum - there are plenty of different strategies for different people.


Jan x