so depressed!!

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Please tell me that their are others feeling the same as me !
Started tamoxifen the end of march, and I feel i am going through every side-effect.

I feel so darn tired, now on zoplicone to help with sleeplessness nights caused by night sweats, and now feeling really depressed, I lack concentration, have a fuzzy head, mood swings, irrational behaviour, and suddenly sobbing hysterically,

I feel i’am not giving attention to my teenage boys, and my dog, because my heads all over the place and i’am getting snappy with them.

I recently left a part-time boring but easy job which I had only been in for a year, and part of that was on sick pay; I left for another job, which is full-time but thought it would lead to eventual progression within the company, and would take my mind of the cancer and I could eventually settle into it ,

but god how I have underestimated 9 months later, the diagnosis, treatments, and now medication.

I am finding it hard to cope, and emotionally i’am up and down like a yo yo. and feel even if I go part-time I don’t think it’s for me, I just can’t make any rational decisions, but I am on my own and need to work, what do I do.

I am thinking about asking for my old job back, but if they don’t offer me a position what do I do , i don’t feel a could commit to anything really, but I know I left on good terms.I could possibly go bank and not contract, I’am just in a right muddle.

Can anyone offer any advice
ann x

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Hi
Not sure I can offer advice, but like you I am struggling with a cotton wool brain, hot flushes, snapping at my nearest and dearest, and definately not coping at work! I seem to be near to tears for no reason and I am generally not functioning. I am just struggling on at work resting when I can at home and hoping things will improve!!
I hope things get better for you soon.
Take care
Jackie

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Hi Ann,
Poor you really suffering at the moment,firstly have you seen the thread ‘feeling really low on tamoxifen’ thought you might get some answers on there!
Not sure how long you have been on zoplicone? but have you seen the side effects?

SIDE EFFECTS: Daytime drowsiness, dizziness, lightheadedness, bitter taste, dry mouth, headache or stomach upset may occur the first few days as your body adjusts to the medication. If any of these effects continue or become bothersome, inform your doctor. Notify your doctor if you develop: rapid/pounding/irregular heartbeat, skin rash, changes in vision, slurred speech, severe drowsiness, loss of memory, incoordination, confusion, depression, irritability or other behavioral changes. medication. If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist.

A lot of your feelings are in the above side effects. Perhaps your doctor can change you to something else!

At the moment you must be wondering what to sort out first, with your sons, work and the dog, as if one problem isn’t enough.
I think you must come first! very difficult when you need to work, but you are no good to your family if you are ill.
Perhaps you can talk to your doctor about how you feel, hoping he/she is understanding, then perhaps when you feel as if you are in control, perhaps you could speak to the people you once worked for
asking if they could offer you anything!
But if at all possible you need to take time for yourself, is there anyway you could not work for a month, just to give you time to sort tablets and your sleep out?
Hope you can give yourself some time to look after you!
Make a list of what is important and tick one off at a time and try and sort it out, too many things going on in your mind, and nothing gets sorted out!

Lots of Hugs
Sandra xxx

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Hi Ann
I’ve been deprerssed since the beginning of the year when I had my mastectomy. As each minth went by I hoped I would start to feel better but if anything I became worse. Then when work started to intrude into my recovery- issues about half pay or returning (I’m a teacher and didn’t fancy having half pay throughout the summer holiday period, when I would be preparing and planning work for Sept)- I completely freaked out. I went to the doctor and she gave me the anti-depressant Citalopram. I had been dead set against anti-depressants all the time I was recovering, despite my BCN suggesting I go on them before the op but I had reached rock bottom and my moods were affecting the family.
Now, I feel calm and less anxious and able to contemplate going back to work before the summer break. The downside of the drug are the initial bouts of nausea, which have thankfully now receded. I feel drowsy and sleep in the afternoon but only if I sit down with a book etc On the days I’m out and about I’m fine. I also sleep well at night. It’s worth giving medication a try after consulting your doctor. I wish I’d gone on them earlier and hadn’t suffered for all those terrible months, crying, black moods, unmotivated to do anything etc Whatever you decide, all the best. Annys xx

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Sorry Ann, I forgot to mention I’m also on Tamoxifen - since Feb. I had night sweats and hot flushes but they have now gone. Strangely enough when I started my citalopram. I was concerned they might have affected the tamoxifen but my doctor assured me the two drugs are often prescribed together. Hopefully, like me your side effects will go too and bring you some relief. Good luck. Annys xxx

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Hi
I was dx with BC March 2009 and had chemo and rads and now on Herceptin and Tamoxifen. I do get very tired but cannot sleep and also suffer cramps which is is a pain (literally) when I go to yoga! However unfortunately due to a loss of hearing in my left ear I was dx this Feb with an acoustic neuroma which is a benign brain tumour - nothing to do with the BC (although that it is on my left side too). Ironically the chemo which causes so much damage to other cells doesn’t affect this sort of tumour!! But the symptons of this are also tiredness, fatigue, unable to sleep, lightheadness etc. etc. so I don’t know what or which is the cause or effect. Also everyone things I have recovered brilliantly from the BC treatment - and I can’t then tell them actually I have something else equally as serious. I was prescribed anti depressants to help me through this but I have decided not to take them. I know I will have to undergo treatment within the next few months to prevent any worsening of the symptons such as balance problems, and facial palsy but then I am worried about the mammograms and check ups for the BC.

Bizarrely I take pride in the fact that nobody but my close friends and family have any inkling of the extent of my health problems.
Jet

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Hello Ladies

Thankyou all for responding to my post.

Sandra ,you had a point about the zoplicone, I decided not to take it and see how I got on without it, and I have to say I do feel much better in my-self,

annys , thankyou for telling me your experience I do feel I have depression and will be seeing my GP.

Jet thankyou too for sharing your experience and I wish you all the best in your treatment,

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Hi Angels12, I had a thread on here a while ago something about ‘do l need help!’ Lol certainly do!
I have never liked tablets and if l could get away without them l certainly would. I remember when l has a miscarriage a long while ago, my doctor gave me some tablets, not telling me what they were, when l got home l checked what they were and they were tablets for depression, l really didn’t feel l needed them, yes l was sad, but…they went straight down the toilet.
But this is so very much different, at my worst l went to the doctors, and she suggested l have diazepam 2mg, and just to take them on a bad day! plenty of those!!
Anyway that was a couple of months ago, she gave me 28 and l still have 27! yes l have some bad days, and l think to myself ‘if l don’t feel a bit better in a couple of hours l will take one’ I think it is knowing they are in the cupboard to take if l need them, gives you that bit of security, bit like a safety blanket!
Good Luck to you at the doctors
Hugs
Sandra xxx

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Hi angels12,
I suffered from depression a number of years ago after a bad marriage and unfortunately with the BC is has resurfaced. There is no shame in taking a small tablet everyday if it means you can resume and live a “normal” life for you and your children. Like you, I am now on my own (my partner walked out recently) and i know for a fact i wouldnt have coped if i had not recognised that the depression had come back. It can be a short term fix for long term gain.
hope it all works out for you.

deed
x

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Hi Ann
I dx BC Mar09 - I initially started on Zoladex monthly injections but side effect terrible, so on tamaixfen last couple of months. Reading your thread so similar to my experience. I have to work and recently moved from part time to full time, thinking help focus things away from bc and need extra money. Big mistake, mind like sponge and with sleepless nights hard to concentrate. I have propranandrol prescribed for anxiety and take as and when need it. Found it really helps…one question I have is will these symptons improve over time.
hugs
Maria

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see what i mean about sponge brain…sent twice!!!

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Hi all

I’m now a bit confused. Was “happily” on citralopram until Oct last year when onc said I had to come off them as new research had shown some antidepressants can interfere with Tamox. I am not doing so well now without it.

Different advice coming from the docs, again! AAaaargghhh,

Hope things pick up soon. Think we got to dig deep within ourselves, even when its a bad day, talk to someone (anyone) and they will help you see things through normal eyes.

Best wishes xx

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I am on Venlafaxine which does NOT interfere with Tamoxifen, works beter than Citalopram (for me) and has the happy side effect (for me) of suppressing appetite! xx

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Hi All,
I have just come from my GP who has just precribed Venlafaxine 37.5 mg to start for 2 weeks then slow release 75mg thereafter, I am a bit nervous about taking them has anyone suffered any bad side effects and are they as addictive as the blurb makes out. I have been on Tamoxifen for 6 months now and the hot flushes and night sweats are horrendous, GP first prescibed Clonidine which seemed to be a miracle but sadly after only 3 months they seemed to have lost their power and the hourly flushes have returned, so I am willing to try anything that does not compromise the Tamoxifen. Any comments appreciated please,
Sue

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I was prescribed Venaflaxine 75mg daily when I started Tamofixen last September 09. I was already on Prozac at the time but read on here that prozac stops tamoxifen working well so asked my GP if I could try Venaflaxine. The venaflaxine is ok but boy do I notice it if I forget to take one. I get dizzy, feel nauseous and just feel lousy. Soon stops once I take the forgotten tablet. Was getting worried about being addicted to these tablets so last month I asked my doctor to reduce the dosage to 37.5mg daily and seems ok so far as long as I remember to take it the same time each day. Still early days. Might have to go up to 75mg again.

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Thanks for your input, I have taken first one, felt a bit wonky after about an hour but seems to have worn off now,left me with a small headache now, I am willing to try anything and everthing as 5 years is a long time to endure hot flushes of the powerful kind and they are a constant reminder of BC when all I want to do is try to move on and forget the trauma of it all. i’m sure all the ladies feel the same.
i will keep updating with progress.
Sue

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Hi Ladies,
I’ve been on Venlaflaxine for several years now and decided to stop taking one every day and just take one every other day. That has worked well for me. It was originally prescribed for anxiety and I have had quite a bit of that over the last year!! My Onc told me it was very good for suppressing hot flushes and is fine to take with Tamoxifen which I have been on since February this year.
I also find if I forget to take a tablet I feel very light headed and a little peculiar, can’t really describe it but that is the only problem I have. I have never had headaches or nausea but was told it could contribute to my slighty raised blood pressure!
Love to you all,
Jane xx

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Can I join in? I am on Tamoxifen and Herceptin having completed chemo and rads. For the last few weeks I seem to have been having more low days than good. It is odd. I can change from high to low like flicking a switchm but I don’t know what triggers it.

I think I may ring my GP tomorrow. He said to ring at any time after I sobbed through an appointment last week. I have suffered from depression before but I can’t remember if I felt like this or not.

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I know exactly how U feel babe; it’s so strange we have been thru all this crap; but cannot feel positive! I did all the chemo; followed by op; then radio; am supposed to be going back to work very soon; but really don’t feel ready too! Getting really depressed about the thought of it! Em x

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Hi All,
A quick update , tried Venlaflaxine for 5 days , I have felt awful since , got a shaky left arm almost immediately and the mother of all headaches , the headaches continued for the whole five days ,when my other half convinced me that the small gain of lesser sweats ,which I am taking it for, was not worth the crippling headache, so I have stopped it and reverted to Clonidine which sort of works as in reduces the severity of the sweating but does not actually stop them.
has anyone else had the same side effects on Venlaflaxine, I do feel a bit of a failure at the moment.
Sue