So disappointed and let down.

My surgeon walked in and told me that i wont look as i want to look … no conversation with her beforehand so where that came from i have no idea it was the first appt for reconstructive surgery. Does every surgeon say this or is this unusual. I now have to make my deicision on what i want done, a buttock flap operation or a tummy one. However i was left under the impression that it wasnt going to be worth it. Has anybody got any advice i had chemo and radiotherapy and masectomy and lymph node removal and my body feels a complete mess.

Hi Vonz, I have had many conversations with surgeons and plastic sturgeons regarding my reconstruction. I was so confused as to which I should go for, given just two options. I think, they try and gear us up for ‘don’t expect to be perfect’, or how we look today!
Have they given you any literature? I borrowed a book, i cant remember the correct name, it was something similar to ‘the bueatica within’ which had stories and photographs of some pretty amazing ladies after surgery. Also have you been to a BRA meting at all? I found this extremely helpful.
Take care

The book is The Boudicca Within - WONDERFUL pics of ladies standing naked and proud after recon. Available online.

Another comment - I was constantly told to have all the treatment, then we can put things right later!!! Well no actually, I had to fuss and fight for 2 years to get the corrective surgery I needed, and it IS fine NOW. There seems to be a lot of jollying along and deliberately vague information at DX which is then revealed as incorrect when it is too late to make a better decision. I think it comes from an impulse not to overburden us with facts when we are all over the place in our heads with shock and fear. The problem is that we make decisions at that time in the absence of clear accurate information, then are told when when it is too late we can’t have what we expected.
We need clear and correct info right from the start so that we do not have unrealistic expectations
of what can be achieved with corrective surgery/reckon.
I did not get told that reduction to irradiated breast tissue is not ‘advised’ until AFTER I had the radio - and then it was ‘too late’ so I made a fuss till I got it. What silly way to treat us!!!

Thanks grumpy for correcting me with the book title, I knew after I posted my comment, the title was incorrect!

HI Vonz
Well 0/10 for your PS’s manner with you - how awful!
You may not look EXACTLY how you did before post recon, BUT there are ways and means of getting this across when you are already in a vulnerable state.
Grumpy has hit the nail on the head in my opinion.
The medics can be incredibly vague with information and they are often of the opinion - treatment now. patch you up later! This may be the case with some, but we also need to be able to make informed choices with the correct and accurate information.
I have a copy of the Boudicca Within and some of the recons do look pretty spectacular.
This should give you an insight into what CAN be achieved with a good skilled PS.
Do your research and make your decision from there. Ask to see photos of different recons, look on the net and chat to us on here.

Best of luck

Thank you everybody i agree with the comments i wasnt warned of the problems i have now i have borrowed a book with everyting in it i think i will ask for the sgap operation in the hope it is the right one. Im dissapointed with the attitude more than anything however it is time for me to stand up for myself i need to feel somewhere near a woman again im hoping this will start to acheive this, many thanks everybody your comments mean so much to me, i am not alone xx

Hi Ladies…

Im having a lumpectomy on the 29th May then Chemo. After this I am having a double mastecomy as a preventative measure. My surgeon has agreed to sit down with me and go through all the options of reconstructive surgery available and all the side effects. I believe that 2 of the options are to use back muscle or tummy flaps.

He has said that tummy flaps give the best results but if it goes wrong then its wrong and has to be redone.

Has anyone had either of these and can give me any advise?

Cheers xxx

Hi Daisy
I had the LD flap, they took back muscle and skin graft from back. 8 months later I had a fat transfer and 8 months after that I had another fat transfer and just waiting nipple recon.
I had a reduction to good breast 3 months ago so I’m almost symmetrical for first time in 3 years.
I’m pleased with the results and felt it was the right procedure for me and could recommend it.
It’s well worth spending time researching which recon is best for you, and your PS should be able to advise you here.

Good luck with your decision.


Hi Daisy987
i had a mastectomy and immediate DIEP flap done last Wednesday - only out of hospital yesterday. So far so good. Bit of a marathon operation but signs all good so far. Never expected to be home on day 3!

Hi Daisy,your surgeon is a plonker!I had double mx with ld flap recon and I look better than before the op.No sagging,slight scarring across back and I am very happy with results.My daughter aged 28 at the time of her op had double mx with tram flap recon and she too is happy with results.Good luck to all you ladies with upcoming ops,

Over the time of having my treatment I have seen three different surgeons two were really nice and explained everything, I saw one who was really rude. Have you thought about asking to see someone different.

Hi everybody seeing the breast nurse on the 29th May i am going to ask to see the plastic surgeons in sailsbury as poole dont do plastics and i have so much taken i need a bit ofhelp on looking more than i do at the moment. Hope you are all doing well and agree Daisy your surgeon is a plonker maybe we out to rate these surgeons on how well they are doing so other people dont get upset as i and a few others have done. you are all in my thoughts xx

Vonz . . . . . clearly you PS dosn’t know how to communicate with people (especially vulnerable women). This probably explains why he/she gets on better with people when they are asleep in the opperating theatre - no manners and no people skills.

My MX was on the 18th march and I may have to have the implant removed due to an infection but my PS had been amazing - you deserve the same - I strongly advise you to ask for a different referal - you shouldn’t be treated like this at such a difficult time.