Just feeling really sad and scared today. Went for results of CT scan as initial ct scan when dx in Aug showed a very small approx 6mm nodule on lung which they said they would keep and eye on as could be a dreaded secondary. Anyway scanned last week and results today so have been in a terrible state all week so much so that had to send my little babies to my mums for a few days as just couldn’t cope. Well just got back from Dr Doom (oncologist) and he said that the results are inconclusive slightly smaller which makes me freak out as a scar nodule wouldn’t shrink but he said that it may just be where they sliced the ct scan as it is so small it may just be that. He wants to discuss it further tomorrow with consultant radiologist for his opinion and if that is not bad enough he then said they had picked up some abnormalities in bones in spine, not hot spots but they needed to be looked at but my bone scan came back clear at dx, what is going on. I just haven’t been able to stop crying and husband really upset and mum and to top it all my best friends little girl is 3 today and i have just sent my Little ones off to her party with their dad as i cannot face it. Does this bloody disease get any worse I hate it.
Sorry to go on anyone else had similar please advice, oncologist to call tomorrow.
If you would like to talk to someone outside of your family about how you feel at the moment please don’t hesitate to use the Breast Cancer Care helpline. Here you are able to talk to someone in confidence about your fears and concerns and the team on the helpline are happy to talk to you and just be a listening ear if you feel you want to offload. BCC are here to support you so please use us if it will help. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturdays 9am to 2pm. The number is free phone 0808 800 6000.
When reading your posting I can really feel the pain you are in and don’t know how to help. It might have been easier for me to skip this thread but I sense you just need to get this off your chest and so I decided to try to help. No words can take away that dread of secondaries and everything being left woolly can not of helped. I truly hope that the hot spots they have found turn out to be harmless scars.
I hope I am not going to upset you you further by saying if this turns out to be not such good news there is treatment out there and lots of people like JaneR, Dawn and Jenny (Sorry to those other ladies who’s names slip my mind at the moment)who have been where you are now and can offer lots of support and encouragement as they have been dealing with secondary cancer for many years.
I hope your little ones enjoyed the party, they will have lots to tell you!
Hang in there Carol. I can really understand your fear and dread. Try and stay in the moment. In these moments of huge uncertainty it is completely natural that your mind will go to some frightening places. Just try and take it one step at a time. I’m sending you many good thoughts and hoping that you get good news.
Jo
xxx
I am so sorry that you are hurting so much and so unsure of everything right now, and wish there was something that I could say that would help you. I agree with Carol, that whatever happens there are lots of different treatments that can contain and control things. Although hope that these hot spots turn out to be nothing and the spot on your lung is just a scar. I am keeping everything crossed for you.
I know what you mean about the little ones, and being unable to go places some days with them, but it will get better honestly, no matter what, and they WILL help you get through this, I just think right now with all your uncertainty, it is so much harder for you.
Take each day as it comes and hopefully you will get good news.
Look after yourself and hard as it is, try not to dwell on it too much, absorb yourself in your children and their day to day stuff. Works for me most of the time.
Just sending you a great big hug coming through cyberspace right now! Great advice from these other ladies, just one day at a time and never lose hope. Lots of love Sarah xx