I have been off work since June after having a WLE on the right and full reconstruction on both sides, plus 25 sessions of rads. These finished on 3rd Sept I had given myself 3 weeks to get over rads then planned to go back to work on 23rd Sept. However, as the time drew near I still felt rough so put it off for a couple of weeks. I am lucky to be going back on a phased return (50% of hours for first couple of weeks increasing to full time within 6 weeks).
As my return is approaching again, assuming my GP will sign me off, I am getting anxious. Not only have there been staff reductions since I went off, my boss will have been made redundant on the Friday before I return on the Monday. I will have a new boss (who i do know) but worry about the lack of handover of my dept whilst I have been off. It’s all change so I don’t know what to expect. But I’m big and brave so I’m sure I’ll cope…
My biggest fear is that I think I may have lost my confidence in my body. I don’t know what to wear any more. My boobs have reduced by 2 sizes and I’m struggling to come to terms with the effects this has had on my overall shape. I have been fine whilst I’ve been off work and I haven’t needed to look in the mirror in clothes. I am happy with my new breast shape but it makes me bottom heavy now when I’ve been used to being a bit top heavy! My belly seems a lot fatter and sticks out further which makes me feel fatter. I’m sure I’m not but that’s how it looks now. I didn’t think it would be an issue when the surgeon told me I would look different from the side but now I see what she means. I feel that my clothing style that I have worn all these years no longer fits and I am looking in my wardrobe going aaarrrggghh! Nothing will do any more and what am I going to do about being presentable for work? I would like to go on a spending spree but don’t have the money. And even if I did I wouldn’t know what to buy
I just want to hide under my duvet and go nowhere! Help?