So upset

Just found out a friend i met on here is in a hospice with only days to live she was dx in jan with sec to lungs had chemo but nothing worked cancer spread so fast they cldnt stop it so in 5 months she as gone from all to nothing and as I have same dx I’m so scared won’t be here at Xmas I can’t stop crying hate this cancer laura

HI laura

I’ve sent you a PM

Dear Laura,
I can’t imagine how you must be feeling…
How utterly dreadful for you and your friend. It must be like looking into some sort of mirror…

Please let me send you the tightest hug this evening.
I can’t tell you it’s all going to be alright because I don’t know!
I just hope you can eventually feel calmer…
You sound so very upset. I just hope you can talk to someone about your fears.

Welsh girl xx

Hi Laura - I am so sorry, all of us with secondaries know a little of how you are feeling, and what a dreadfully scary place it is to be. At times like these when you need some reassurance, it helps to read of others with the same diagnosis that are doing well - the new lung mets thread seems to have quite a few ladies that are doing very well, so maybe pop in there and I’m sure they’ll have some comfort for you - and I know a couple others here that have had lung mets and are now NED, so don’t give up hope that you can be too. Sending a big hug your way. xxxx

Hi Laura
So sorry to hear about your friend and of course you will be upset, it’s the bl**dy awful disease. It’s even worse if you have the same type of mets but do remember we are all different and we all respond to treatment differently so there is no reason to think you will be in the same position as her. Maybe try the helpline here to give you some advice or support or, as the others have suggested, search out threads about lung mets which may help you with more specific support. Sorry I can’t be more helpful but I do understand how you feel, having got (bone) mets myself.

Hi Laura

I am sorry to read about your friend and as Nicky has suggested it may help to talk things through with one of our helpliners, the lines are open in the morning from 9am so please do call for more support if you are able to. The number is 0808 800 6000.

Take care

Hi Laura, as Finty has said many here will know how you feel. It is something I have never found gets any easier. I have now met up and lost many friends to bc. I’ve never regretted reaching out to others and hope I was as good of a friend to them as they were to me. Know that you were a good friend and we all have very individual cancers that respond in many ways to various treatments. Take Care…x
PS…if your friend is a forum poster I think I may know who she is…very sad to read this…x

Hi laura
sorry to hear about yur friend- bc can be very cruel + unpredictable :frowning: Is yur friend a member of these forums? If so please pass on our love + let he know we are all thinking of her…
Try not to compare your situation to hers as I’m sure there are important differences between your dx’s. Some treatments won’t work for some but will work wonders for others. Try to stay postive.
Lots of love
tina x

Thanks everyone I’m a little better today think the shock just hit me yes she did come on here but I’m waiting for the family to ok her name or her sister to come on and talk to her friends many thanks for your kind words tc laura

I’m so sorry to read about your friend, and that you have been upset by witnessing the deterioration of a person who seems to have similar health concerns to your own.
There is no point in me saying try not to worry, because it’s only natural to worry about something like that. I have bone mets and also worry when I hear awful things. I remember being convinced that I probably only had weeks to live, and would die the most awful death when my husband’s cousin reminded me how his mother died. She had secondary BC in the bones (before endocrine therapy or bisphosphonates), and apparently her pelvis simply shattered one day while she was making the bed, and a week later she died in a great deal of pain. The point is that that hasn’t happened, because although I have bone mets, that is were the similarity ends. Every cancer is individual, and nobody knows how it will behave.

Hi Laura,

I was in a similar situation to you this time last year. A friend who I met during my primary diagnosis, we went through our initial operations, chemo and rads together, was diagnosised with secondary bc last April, 2010, I had been ddiagnosed with lung mets 6 months earlier, my poor friend only lived 2 months and died in June last year, so as you can imagine I was devastated and assumed at the time I was going the same way but fortunatelyI am doing fine am my lung secondary is stable with hormone treatment. All our cancers are very individual, some more aggressive than others and we all responding differently to treatments, and there are many treatments available to us as you will have seen on this site. I think I may be having cyberknife treatment soon, just waiting to here from a third consultant as my tumour is near the heart, so fingers crossed. I know you will feel so upset about your friend at the moment as I was but you will start to look forward and see on this site many of us living good lives for many years. Do pm me if you want to.

Love Marina xx

Hi sadly the lady as passed away rip xx

To all who know Kaz36 (Karen), this is her husband Guy, I am sorry to have to tell you but Karens fight with this terrible disease is almost at an end. I am sat with her in the Hospice watching the life slowly slip away from her body. I have been here for the last 8 days 24/7 and this has to be the worst 2 years of my life since she was diagnosed.

All I will say is never give up hope, you never know whats round the corner. Plus what didnt work for Karen may work for you so never ever give in.

All I can take from this terrible experience is I have never met a more courageous woman or someone with such a big heart as Karen. Even with this disease she never stopped trying to help others.

I am just gutted not to have got to do all we had planned together.

I will carry her memories with me forever and remember the best ten years we had together as husband and wife.

I know a lot of you on here befriended Karen and helped her cope through some of the hard times and that I can only thank you for being her friend. Take Care. Guy

So sorry for you loss Guy, my condolences to you and Karen’s family.

Oh my goodness I am so shocked + sad to read about karen. Such devastating news- I can only say I am so very sorry to hear what has happened. Heartfelt condolences to guy and all Karens family + friends.
RIP Karen
love tina xx

I am so sad and sorry to hear of your loss. Just wanted to send my condolences to you and Karen’s family and friends.

I’m so sorry to hear this news. I knew Karen was very poorly from some of her last postings.
Thinking of you Guy and my sincere condolences to all Karen’s family and friends. Rest in Peace Karen…xx
And thinking of you Laura and all Karen’s friends here…xx

This news is just so desperately sad. She did pm me a while back, and struck me as a lovely lady.
I’m so very sorry.

So so sad, i met for coffee and lunch with Karen a few times she was a big hearted spirited lady who could make anyone laugh.I feel blessed that i got to meet her. My thoughts are with you Guy and your family she loved you all so much .

God bless

Sal x

So sad that this has happened and so quickly. Love Debx