So,what is offensive?

I am aware that a recent post by one of our regular lesbian posters has been deleted.
I’d like to know why? I know there is talk of it’s contents being offensive but which ones and offensive to who?
If, as I believe is the case, you are referring to the remark about single,lesbian,vegan …I think that just shows the lack of understanding or knowledge about lesbian/femenist politics. Those sorts of phrases are common discriptors/remarks which merely express the experience of tokenism, lack of knowledge and understanding within organisations. They are not personal,nor would I say offensive.
Not sure I’ve expressed this that well but maybe one of the other posters can put it better.I just think that whils moderation of forums is expected you need to be more aware of lesbian politics and experience before making decisions about appropriate/offensive language.

By the way, despite this being posted it is not appearing in latest posts and I thought that had beem sorted. Rather emphasises the original posters question about lesbian threads and latest posts etc.

thanks for starting the thread, julie
will let you know when i hear back from mike - i’m not making any assumptions about what was offensive in my post that was deleted cos as far as i’m concerned none of it was … could be the grammar, for all i know, although my written english isn’t usually that bad
i’m alarmed that this deleting censoring thing seems to be about one person’s individual judgement - i certainly can’t find anything in the info i’ve been directed to that suggests otherwise - when we already know that equalities issues generally (never mind getting as far as lesbian politics!) aren’t bcc’s strongest skillset as an organisation which (as those of us working in the equalities field know) leaves a much wider attitudinal variance in the workforce than in organisations that implement systematic policies of training & support
i’ve been invited to complain but i can’t complain till i know which bits of the post are offensive & why, & i’ve asked that question twice (or is it 3 times?) now but no answer - bit kafkaesque
'nuff said - will leave it another couple of days then investigate further if i haven’t heard back from mike by then

well, i’ve heard back from mike again
he tells me that some people might find the post offensive or upsetting
this is like banging my head against a brick wall - i get exactly the same sentence every time, with an invitation into the bcc complaints procedure, but mike won’t tell me WHAT’s offensive about the post so i don’t know WHAT i’m complaining about (other than someone arbitrarily removing a post i intended to be on the forums
kafka with a streak of orwell!

Oh dear! That really is frustrating! We know that the belief is it might offend some folk,but you are quite right we don’t know WHAT it is that they think might be offensive,without that answer you can’t make a proper complaint.if you wanted to)…I do hope that one of the mods can tell you exactly what it was in your original (deleted) post that was likely to cause offence.

I fancy complaining to BCC and asking them to remove all posts that are asking or offering a prayer.

Exactly! I actually do pray and will offer prayers if people want but I know some people don’t want therefore what to me would be fine but to vercors would not - would BCC delete all offers of prayer?? Norberte doesn’t even know what within her message is construed as offensive, an answer to that would clarify things and then N could proceed to follow-up/complain if she chose to.
PS Sorry vecors if I’ve offered to pray for you, I do usually say “if you don’t mind/would want”. Hope things going ok at mo., see you on claredrops x

I was just playing the devil’s advocate . I really don’t mind, it s just that, I feel we should be able to express ourselves. If someone tends to offend you, then you don’t have to read their posts. I actually have seen posts that have offended me in the past, but I moved on. This is what society is about.
BCC should only intervene if someone actually complain and should be able to provide specifics; not just a template email.
Otherwise, I am well and hope everyone else is as well.

Cheers vercors!
Glad you are well and completely agree with you.

I too am intrigued to know what exactly was offensive in Norberte’s post and echo Julie’s original post. Come on BCC - get a grip.

hugs all
D x

I too am now intrigued! I’ve missed all of this - not been on the forums for a couple of weeks.
Norberte - as hetero meat eater (I am single), if you pm me the gist of your original post, I’ll let you know if I’m offended by it.

She pmed it, I’ve read it - and I an definitely not offended.


DJ007, thanks for that imput, so glad you didn’t find anything offensive, I didn’t think you would…However,BCC still think it might cause offence.
The result of all this is that we are likely to lose a valued member of the community as Norberte feels that this is an example of BCC not seeing equalities issues. I can se Norbertes piint and will be sad to lose her. I myself shall continue to use the forums as I am a secondaries woman and find the support and friendship invaluable. I do though find BCC’s attitude about this highly disappointing though.

Norberte and I spent quite a bit of time and personal effort to get BCC to have a lesbians and bisexual women’s section to the forum at all -that was maybe about 18 months ago. It felt like an acheivement but also rather shocking that we had to work for it and that it didn’t already exist. When the new website arrived I posted about the marital status issue and got masses of posts but not one comment at all from BCC - Norberte then posted and they replied and dealt with it I believe ( i haven’t checked).
What disappoints me about BCC response to the issue of whether or not Norberte’s post is offensive, and to my raising the marital status issue without any reply, is that norberte’s post is really not the issue at all - as far as I can see noone from BCC has written an appropriate apology or explanation of why the new site was created in such a way that we were feeling oppressed, marginalised and disavangtaged yet again- and how could the new site be created without any eye on equalitites issues, what happened to equalities assessments?
It is from understanding THIS that BCC should have responded to Norberte’s post - not by deleting it which is further marginalistation, oppression and invisibilisation. Sure it may not be to everyone’s taste but thats taste for you…lesbians will have hooted with laughter
please can somone in BCC with responsibility for equalities and diversity reply to me/us?

I’m curious to know why it was felt a separate section for lesbians and bisexual women was needed…? Surely, the one thing we all have in common is this damned disease - how does sexuality even enter into the equation?
Phooey this doesn’t offend :wink: - genuinely curious

Sorry, that should say hope this doesn’t offend. Not phoeey! Darned autocorrect!

I have no idea what the post was about, or whether BCC were right or wrong to censor it - but I sense the issue here is about accountability. It just doesn’t seem right that individual moderators can delate posts, and the only redress for the person who posted is to complain to BCC. I mean are BCC likely to be objective?. Clearly there isn’t another body who can deal with complaints bout BCC, on behalf of BCC, but would it not be sensible to have a rule that individual mods can only delete posts temporarily - pending a joint meeting between the moderating committee, and the member who posted. At least then things wouldn’t seem so arbitrary, and it would give the person posting a chance to put things right.

Will some one PLEASE get their a### into gear and tell norberte just exactly what was potentially offensive about her post? This is just plain stupid and could nullify much of the confidence in good work of this website.
Was it a word? a description? a reference to a medic? a advert for suspect medication? an invitation to criminality?
By the way, our lesbian and bi-sexual colleagues may feel they need a bit of specific support with this damned disease because their context is different, and that is for them to decide surely. I learnt this when I was a delegate to my Union’s Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual and Transgender Working Party. EG a lesbian friend awaiting MX being told, well it won’t matter to you will it… now how offensive is that!!! and of course based on ignorance.
grumpy (single, hetero, child-free, agnostic, left-ish, dog-owning, lop-sided, carnivorous public-sector pensioner - go on, offend me!! I’m a big girl now, I can cope…)

I had the same thought about us all being in the same (lopsided) boat, but felt that lesbians may see it differently. Thinking about it again reading this post, it has struck me that if you are attracted to the same gender then perhaps, if bits of you are made to be less attractive, it will be more devastating?? Not explained it very well and I could be completely wrong, of course, just trying to understand and not wishing to offend anyone!!
I’m rather anxious not to have my post inexplicably deleted, so I’ll not risk any more comment.

I just hope Norberte is able to get the support she needs, without BCC!

(Married, hetero, mother of straight son and lesbian daughter, pet-free, teddy collecting, omniverous public sector worker - (nearly back to full-time) - also prepared to be offended, I can always not follow the thread!!..)

Norberte, would you mind PM -ing me this post that was deemed ‘offensive’ so I can make up my own mind, please.