So worried ...

I’m just beyond worried now. I’m 44 and have two small children (8 and 5).
I discovered a lump in my right breast a year ago (yes, I know). I didn’t go to the Doctors as I was a) worried and b) about to start a new contract (I run my own company; my husband is a stay-at-home Dad). However, as the year went on, the lump appeared to get smaller. I went to see the Doctor a week ago as I’m on Prozac and needed some more. I mentioned the lump at the same time. She examined me and said that whilst she was sure it was nothing, she was going to refer me to the breast clinic to be sure.
I got an appointment through a couple of days later - which is for Friday 3 May. I was cheered by the fact that it wasn’t instant, feeling that I was sure if she was sure it was cancer it would be sooner. Now, as the day approaches, I’m getting more and more panicky.
Firstly, I’m the only wage earner. If it is cancer, I can’t see how on earth I’m going to carry on supporting my family. I can ‘not work’ for 6 months - but after that, I have no idea. And I can’t stop worrying about it. Secondly, my kids are SO young. I can’t even think about what might happen … and thirdly I cannot help but think that if it was cancer the lump would surely have got bigger (or stayed the same) and not got smaller? But perhaps that’s all wishful thinking.
My mother had DCIS about 4 years ago and had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. Apparently this doesn’t affect my chances of it being cancer.
I’m being idotic. Mum keeps telling me not to worry about it until I need to. However, I just can’t stop thinking about it. I feel so stupid for leaving it for a year. Serves me right i guess if it is bad news.


Listen to your mum! Worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet is a waste of energy. Whatever your lump is won’t be changed by your worry, it will still be there next Friday. Meanwhile, pamper yourself, keep busy, treat yourself and get plenty of fresh air. Keep your husband in the loop as you may need him more than ever, and remember, most lumps are absolutely nothing! National guidelines specify that referals to the breast assessment clinics should be within 2 weeks, so your timescale is quite normal and there is nothing sinister in it. The assessment itself is physically painless, and you should be told there and then if your lump is suspicious. You will have a mammogram and probably an ultrasound scan. If the consultant feels it is necessary you will also have a biopsy, but may have to wait another week or so for the biopsy results.

I wish you the best of luck xxx

Dear locutus2003

Welcome to the BCC Forum. I’m sure other members will soon be along to offer you some support.

You could also give our helpline a call to talk things over. They will be able to offer you practical information and emotional support. The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000.

Very best wishes


BCC Moderator

Thank you - you’re right, of course. I go between feeling positive and negative. However, nothing will be gained through worry. Just wish I could make my subconscious believe that too!

Well, the day is tomorrow. Appointment at 9.20 mammogram and 9.50 for the consultant. Am really, really, really scared. Luckily I’ve had an impossible deadline for work this week which has actually really helped me to concentrate on something else. However, now back home and scared again. My breasts really ache (but always do for a week or so before my period) and I can no longer feel the lump except with real effort. Then again, sometimes I seem to be able to feel about 4! Just about to have something to eat and drink and TRY to sleep tonight. I’m at the stage now where actually knowing will be better than not knowing.

good luck to you xx

I’m 44 too with three children still at school, so I know exactly how you feel (having until last week been in the same uncertain and stressful situation). The chances are that, as in my case, it’ll turn out to be perimenopausal cysts. But if it is something more sinister, there’s absolutely no point beating yourself up with what ifs. Just deal with life’s certainties, if and when you need to. Best of luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you and will check back to see how you get on. xx

Thanks both of you. I hope I will have nice positive news tomorrow. Sleep would be good too!

good luck for tommorow, let us know how you get on
angie xx

I had the best possible news - it’s a benign fatty lump.

The mammogram was fine - I was worried as I’m a 36J!! However, not even uncomfortable for me. Them had an ultrasound. The sonographer said he couldn’t see any problems. He then said that the lump was large and hard and so he thought they’d want to biopsy. Saw the surgeon who examined me and said he was sure it was fine but would do a biopsy to be sure. I was v worried. He did it, showed me (ugh) said it looked like fatty tissue but would get it analysed - results in 20 minutes but I really shouldn’t worry. 20 mins later discovered it was benign.

the relief is just enormous. I so wish that everyone could have good news. Xx

Yay! Great news - and you’ve got a lovely long weekend to celebrate too

Yippee - and it’s Friday too! xx