Hi,
Feeling really low at the moment. I had my last Radiotherapy treatment mid November after having had Chemo, Masectomy with reconstruction.
Just before Christmas I was felling fine little or no pain, full movement…happy days. Then just after Christmas started to get pain under my arm which has steadily got worse and has spread down my arm, I have had an ultra scan which has shown no problems. My Onocology Doctor who is wonderful has said there are no problems and to keep doing the excersise, as has the surgeon who did my Masectomy…who said “it takes several month to be pain free”. Not sure what he means by several ???
My worry is that it doesn’t seem to be getting better, worse if anything, lucky I am not working so the lack of sleep isn’t a problem. Sometimes it feels like broken glass, sometimes it feels like a gapping cut and other times it feels like an elastic band that is about to brake. I have full movement although very painful. I am doing the exsersises and massaging.
We moved to a lovely village last May and have just finished refurbishing our new home, new kitchen, bathroom, decorated etc. so really down that I can’t enjoy my home or the lovely walks etc as in so much pain. Then I feel so guilty because I am so very, very lucky apart from being given the all clear, we have no money worries, a lovely home, I also have the support and love of a wonderful man (my main reason for being so lucky) I know that I should stop feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in my own self pity acting like a spoils brat and get on with it, count my blessings as I have so many, there are so many people far worse of than me ( I know it will get better eventually I just need to be patient). I think it was feeling so well just before Christmas and thinking it was all finished and then the pain of it coming back plus finding out that my big brother who was given the alclear from bowl cancer in 2013 was diagnosed with terminal lymph cancer just before Christmas, didn’t want me to know because he didn’t want me to worry! luckily the wonderful Cancer people can keep his cancer at bay. I have such a wonderful family and brilliant friends that I am so cross with myself for feeling so fed up and down, It isn’t like me, I am normally a very upbeat can do sort of person. I am on pain killers which ease it a bit.
sorry for the winging babalings just needed to get it off my chest
Anyway I blame the hormone tablets for being a spoils brat.
Loads of love to you all xxxxxxxxxx