Am facing the dark, dark woods. It’s been a really difficult walk to get here but now it’s here and on Monday 20th December 2010 i am entering it.
I am armed: Determination? Check. Positive attitude? Check. Hair cut short in preparation? Check. Bras thrown away? Check. Humour? Check. Breadcrumbs as a trail to get out? Nope. There is only forward, never back.
My poor old lymphs have been hanging on grimly but now need back up. All that’s left in the armoury is the nuclear pile (6 of them), so back up is on the way.
So there is no choice but take my first tentative step into the woods. Torch is being tightly gripped and compass is firmly attached.
If you are standing looking at those woods and need to step in - take heart - you aren’t alone! I’m in there somewhere!!
Your post took me right back to how I was feeling this time last year. I was entering the dark, dark woods then and was terrified of the unknown. But a year on I have come out the other side, a bit battered but ok.
Believe me - once you step into the dark woods you will find light -I found the reality was no where near as bad as the fear of the unknown.
Love the analogy! I own a wood…and deep dark woods also have unexpected delights in them such as nuts and deer and bluebells and mossy logs etc…lets hope we can all find a good spot in there…ps I’m in there somewhere too!
Hi Lella and I must have entered the deep dark wood at about the same time last year. Tumbled out into the light in Sept hope you find the deer and the bluebells along the way and a mossy log to sit on. Good luck along your way.Jackie
In the woods there are many good surprises; there are people who you counted as acquaintances who pop in and offer:, lifts, meals, chats, support, offers to do shopping. There are true friends in the woods too; the friends who bring flowers and sit… and really listen, the friends who give you a warm cuddle and mop your tears. In the wood named ‘Breast Cancer Care’ there are new friends who will listen and sympathize and advise.
My toes are right on the edge of the woods - already in the shadows, and this time tomorrow I’ll be stepping in - poss. kicking and screaming, (just for sh*ts and giggles…) and terrifying my OH who is used to calm, laid back, matter of fact me.
I’m hoping it’s a Harry Potter wood… scary as hell on the outside, but there’s always a possibility of a centaur… so long as we evade the spiders.
This forum will be my torch - and nothing is quite so scary when it’s not completely dark - if I see your torch glimmering back, I’ll be sure to stop and say hi.
I’m still in that spot looking into the trees, but it feels like I’ve looked down the edge of the wood and seen figures waiting to go in too, all wearing the same look of grim determination. If I’m really quiet I can hear the voices of those who have travelled here before me coaxing me on.
Thank you for reminding me about the treasures in the wood. I like the idea of a Harry Potter wood or maybe an Enid Blyton wood, I just need to avoid those Goblins!
Have added all the words of wisdom to my knapsack and just waiting for the push forward. I will really appreciate other travellers flashing their torch every now again and i’ll flash back. (Only my torch - naughty!)
Hi
I’m shining my torch from the other side of the woods to give you something to aim at. There is a path through and you will find people along the way to help you.
I didn’t take any gin, but red wine helped keep the monsters at bay!
Will pack the Gin in preparation what a wonderful thread this is, surgery next Friday not seeming so scary & all that follows not so bad either as will be able too look forward to catching up with you lot & i know you will help if i get a little lost on the way (& not just because i have the Gin;)) Sarah.xxx
S’alright, I have copious quantities of gin, tonic, ice and slice, as my complementary therapy, together with ginger nuts and anything made by Green & Blacks…
Sue thank you for the light, it is very reassuring, unfortunately red wine tastes pants, so will stick with G & T!
I also have several bundles of positivity given to me by all sorts of lovely people, both virtually and in reality and I’m happy to share when required.
To stay calm and carryon
I am seeing onc today for treatment plan…have had WLE and SNB…nodes affected but no further surgery due to sleep apnea…your first posting was so moving and so true…this site has been my saviour on so many occasions…BC is just such a bummer but we can beat it…Alison
Also standing outside, coming in with you shortly. It might be dark at times but we’ll never get lonely. We can share supplies. You might see me with a nice chilled glass of someting and something very calorific on a plate…oh and definitely my favourite pyjamas. We wil be kind to ourselves and do whatever it takes to get through x
Its six years since I trudged through the woods, but remember I was glad I had packed loads of trashy magazines, novels and dvds… you can hide away in the woods and indulge in as much rubbish as you want… nobody will know but us…
Great thread. I am armed with torch, gin, red wine, sweets, chocolate and about to set off on Monday. Positive thinking is dragging her heels behind me, hopefully she’ll catch me up by Monday. Looking towards the first signs of spring. See you in there to share supplies! Rachel xxx
Sarah.xxx