start rads in may

i,ve had my sugery and results (lobular and low risk),very positive at the begining but very tearful now. Started tamoxifen 5 weeks ago and will have waited 9 weeks before starting rads, (seems a long time to me.)Hate the scars i have been left with. Yet feel guilty because some are so worse than me. I should feel grateful but just can,t get past the tearful stage.Fedup of people saying how positive i am and how strong i am cause i don,t feel either inside just need to know if this is normal.

When do you start radiotherapy? I go to rads planning tomorrow.
Christine

Kahkeh. Tears are perfectly normal! We’ve all been there. I too look at my WLE and SNB scars and feel angry, then guilty because “I got off lightly” and then angry again that I should feel guilty. But it does get easier. Let the tears out. Take a look at the BENCHLAND thread if you want reassurance that your feelings are ‘normal’ - and have a good laugh at some of it too!
breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/stop-feeling-guilty-small-rant-benchland
People tell me I’m being so positive and I tell them that it’s not the case ALL the time. But remember they are only trying to be positive to help you!!
Good Luck with your RADS, I’m half way through mine. Not too bad really. xx

Hello ladies,
I feel excatly the same as Kahkeh, It was all a whirl wind to begin with, from the time I was told I had BC, (14th Feb), to that moment I was told I had clear margins after 2nd operation(last March).Then you are left to get on with it untill you start rads. I know what you mean about the scar I hate mine and yes I know it it only small to some ladies but it is my horrid scar. I am off to my planning session today, not sure really what to expect apart from beening in the quiet room for 20 mins I dont think I have every been rowdy in hospital before!
Good luck 3network3 hpe your planning goes well perhaps if there are anyother ladies starting Rads this month perhaps we could keep each other company.
Kahkeh we will get there in the end I am sure. I was told, there is no hurry we just need to take little step and not to rush.
Good luck ladies Minx50 x

I had a mastectomy 3.5 weeks ago (I had my chemo alreday from Dec to March, was diagnosed in Nov last year) , to be honest I don’t mind the scar or the fact my breast is gone. I grieved a bit pre OP about the coming loss, but now where it’s off, I don’t care really. In the whole scheme of things this means not much to me. I have IBC stage 3B, high risk of BC to return, so to lose a breast is not a lot in the whole scheme of things. I talk about myself here and not about other people.
I hope I can raise my arm sufficient enough for rads planning this pm. I also pick up Tamoxifen today from pharmacy.
Yes Minx50 I hope all goes well for you too today at the planning. We can compare notes afterwards, eh?
Christine

Hello everyone,
I had a WLE and SNB in March and most of the time find that I am as positive as people think I am - but I do have days when I feel ‘low’ for no apparent reason. I think (hope) that this is a perfectly normal reaction. Yesterday was one of those days - I felt as though I was moving very slowly through a dark cloud, but today I am feeling a bit better again. I agree with you JCJ - people do try to be positive to support us, and I think your reponse of telling them that you are, but not all the time is a good one - I will try to remember to use that too. I had my planning session on Wednesday and had been quite anxious about it, but it wasn’t too bad at all and the staff were very helpful and explained all about the procedures every step of the way. My actual rads sessions start on May 15th and hopefully I will find those OK too. Certainly I think the journey to the hospital and home again is likely to be quite tiring, it takes about an hour each way. Good luck to you all - hope the planning sessions go well for you today 3network3 and Minx50.

hiya
planning went well today, they admired my well healed scar and that i can move my arm so easily in the correct position just 3 weeks after the OP. They want to do a dummy run in about two weeks and shortly after start treatment. I can’t wait to get this behind me.
Christine

Hi Ladies,
My planing went well also,I was drawn on, had wire stickers put all over boob, was measured.
I then had to stay completely still and what I can only descibe as sounding like a washing machine whirled its was over me ,quite strange really.Then had 3 tattoos done the one in the middle does look a bit like a black head ,or as my lovely hubby said a beauty spot bless him.At the end they said one final thing to do is to take a mug shot for ID and I had to hold this board up with my name and dob on it I felt like a criminal lol
I have a bone scan next then start rads on 24th .
Hope you all all having a nice weekend x

Hi, I had therapeutic mammoplasty and SNLB on 15th March.(Diagnosed 31st Jan. Invasive Lobular grade 2 no lymph node involvement. 2 areas close to each other, but total too big for lumpectomy so had a therapeutic mammoplasty rather than a mastectomy) Should have started RADS at the end of April, but I’ve been very slow to heal - and when I went for my planning session the radiographers weren’t happy that my wounds were still weepy so they have postponed first session to 17th May. I see the onc on 9th to check it will be OK, but I have a horrible feeling he will postpone it again as I just will not heal!! I just want to get this whole horrible episode of my life over and carry on as normal, and not being able to start rads is leaving me in limbo.
Kakkeh, I too feel that I’ve been very lucky and shouldn’t be feeling so sorry for myself as so many ladies are in a much worse position. But I think it’s only normal to have good and bad days. When I was first diagnosed I cried every day for weeks. Now I sometimes get weepy and am not even sure why I am crying! There’s so much support out there - lots of us will be there to hold your hand.Carolinexx

Hi Carrie37,
Sorry to hear your wound is not healing fingers crossed for tomorrow. I know what you mean about wanting to get this chapter in our lives over and done with so we can all move on.I had a delay as they didn’t get clear margins first time round,they had to reopen lumpectomy scar, this took longer to heal, but getting there.Still have silly days when like you I cry for not sure sometimes. I have found lots of support from my family and the lovely ladies on here.
take care x

Hi All,
Good news from onc in that he said I was good to go to start my rads on 17th. Yaaaaay! Not fully healed but he doesn’t want to delay any longer. He said the wounds “may” - in my case I take that to be “will” - re-open, but we’ll just have to deal with that as it happens. All of my sessions are in the morning, which is also good.
Take care,
Caroline
x

Hi All,
Good news from onc in that he said I was good to go to start my rads on 17th. Yaaaaay! Not fully healed but he doesn’t want to delay any longer. He said the wounds “may” - in my case I take that to be “will” - re-open, but we’ll just have to deal with that as it happens. All of my sessions are in the morning, which is also good.
Take care,
Caroline
x

Hi Caroline
That is good new,lets just hope your wound behaves itself .How many sesions are you having?
I have got 15 planned starting 24th so not long behind you.
Good luck for the 17th and keep us informed perhaps we can start a May thread going
Best wishes
Sheila xx

Good luck, Caroline, I hope the wounds behave and that the rads sessions go well. My sessions start tomorrow, 15th and I am also due for 15. I am looking forward to getting this stage over with but at the same time am a bit nervous of the unknown.
We will all be able to support each other in the coming weeks. Take care everyone,

Hello ch280,
Good luck for tomorrow hope it all goes well.
I am also looking forward to getting this stage going and gone. I have got an appointment for a bone scan thursday,This is to check the old bones are not to thin !! If it’s not one thing it’s another at the moment.
Take care x

Hi Sheila and everyone else,
I’m also having 15 sessions - would appear that’s pretty standard for BC. Start on 17th May and if all goes to plan, the last one will be 7th June. I had desperately wanted to go on a late booking weeks holiday (cruise) on 11th June - when I started out on this journey, I thought my rads would have been long finished by June. But the oncologist has advised me against booking it as says I’ll probably be feeling too tired etc, and also didn’t think it was a good idea to go abroad so soon after rads? Any thoughts/experience on that? So I guess I’ll have to look for another holiday later in the Summer - it just seemed an opportune time to go away while I’m still off work sick, so won’t have to use any of my precious leave days. We’ve already had to cancel the surprise holiday my hubbie had booked flying Upper Class to Las Vegas for my birthday which was in April, sob!
I’m in Yorkshire and having my rads at Jimmy’s in Leeds. Anyone else from this area?
Caroline
xx

Carrie37 It might be wise to wait a bit longer after Rads. They say SEs get worse for 2 weeks after Rads finish before you start to gradually recover energy levels.

I wanted to book a coach trip to Highlands for our 30th wedding anniv 3 weeks after my Rads finish but decided against it. I want to be able to enjoy it and not feel grumpy cos I’m so tired, and possibly sore. We’re going to visit daughter in Norwich instead for a couple of days. Others have enjoyed hols soon after rads though - see March (February?) thread.

Hope your rads go Ok - theyr’e not too bed really! - and that you get to enjoy a really lovely holiday in the not too distant future!

Hi all,
I am going to Spain 2 days after I finish rads, I desperately need some sun,I am going to my mother-in-law’s she has a villa and pool so if i feel tired I can go and rest and i wouldn’t feel bad at leaving hubby on his own. By the way I got fantastic medical insurance from Freedon travel insurance £51 that included the fact I am also type 2 diabetic and have a genetic cholesterol condition at the time of booking. I would be having rads before I travel,(god I am falling apart) I was quoted £350 from one company. My G.P said she thought it would be a good idea but you just have to remeber to cover up and wear factor 50 sun screen. So I think it is up to the individual and what your oncologist.

Hi everyone,
Had 2 of my 15 zaps now. The process isn’t too bad and the staff are very considerate. First session took longer than today as they had to check that everything was lined up and take some pictures - they didn’t ask me to say ‘cheese’ though! I have found that I am quite tired - even after the first session, but that could I suppose be the travelling as much as the treatment. Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow, Carrie37. Take care everyone!

Hi ch28
I am glad your first couple of sesion have gone well. Do you have to travel far for your treatment? I am fairly lucky it is only about 40mins to my local hospital, but most of my appointment are between 12- 14, so will not be able to do to much as it’s smack in the middle of the day, never mind I just want to get started and be on my way now.
Hope everyone else is ok and yes good luck Carrie37 hope all goes well x