Starting Chemo in December.2012

Going through breast cancer treatment Chemotherapy monthly threads
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Cybele - do you know any human rights lawyers?

Maire - thank gawd for that, I have been trying different versions of your name and kept meaning to ask you.

Alpal - def wear the sparkly dress to all cancer appiontments. Not sure Coldplay will cheer you up tho. They are not renowned for it.

Kevin came and went without installing the door - he just pulled off some of the seal from the outside and promised to come back on Sunday…

On other good news I managed to wear silicone Cilla today whilst I went to the sorting office to collect a parcel. This is the first time since Radiation burn. Yay.

xxx

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Evening my friends,
Cress thank god they found your notes. You are an inspiration to us all and it can’t be easy for you. But we love you for it.
My own GP who has known me for years and told me to continue to take diazepam three times a day for now and rest and recover from this cellululitus. He is so nice. So had a good lie in this morning and spent afternoon on settee under blanket, first day not got dressed but feel so drained and having built myself into starting this week it really took it out of me. I have to go for blood tests Tuesday and see what happens then??
Cybel so sorry you are having horrid day but well done you for walking. Hope you are felling a little brighter tomorrow .
Alapl enjoy your party you go girl!
You are all amazing and I love your honesty and you still manage humour I will endeavour to get to that point.
love and hugs to you all
Cathie C xx

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‘I swam, and I swam, right over the dam…’. Today’s post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

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hello
i start this thursday. This is round two for me. I had BC in 2009 and
here i am again.
Hair cut short and wig ready and waiting.

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It’s nearly one a.m., and I’m wide awake, wired and getting very, very fed up with the nausea. Still taking the meds, and by tomorrow will have only the Domperidone left - steroids finished, and the Ona- whatsit only has one tablet left, and it was meant to last for 2 cycles…
If it doesn’t abate by Monday will ask for more meds - I gather chemo is the one time you’re allowed to request, and get, as many drugs as you like…
A belated welcome to AlPal, and to mz6507 xx Am deeply impressed that you’re still having a party, Alpal - sparkle on!
Cathie, so sorry you’re having such a rotten time - but soon you will be able to join us all on this joyous chemo rollercoaster…
Have become completely paranoid about touching my hair with a comb or a brush, in case it suddenly starts to fall out.
On the plus side, I’m definitely starting to lose weight!

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Morning ladies,

Cathie please don’t think I have acheived some kind of jolly cancer acceptance and niether do you have to try for such a thing. I have to make jokes or I will fall to bits. It’s not for everyone but it keeps me going most of the time. Everyone needs to do it their own way, but I don’t want you, or anyone else, to think that if you are not maniacally cracking jokes you havn’t got the hang of cancer. Hang in there Hun.

Hi MZ (can we abbrieviate?). So sorry you are back in this nightmare. Myself and Wendy are doing it all again too so you are not alone. Re-currence or new primary?

Cybel - get all the drugs you can - I have loads left from last time so I can self-medicate over the dreaded Xmas shut down of all services and sense. Get GP to put as much as poss onto repeat and demand telephone apptmts for anything else so you can avoid all the diseased people in the waiting room. It’s amazing how they start to be nice to you when you have a “proper illness”.

As for me I still feel sick and can’t sleep, Need to take anti-sickness pills whilst still lying down cos as soon as I get upright it all washes over me. Also back in the full on steriod night hot flushes. I found these quite bad on the first FEC last time but slightly better on the GemCarbo, prob cos I am more of an old chemo induced granny now.

And I have run out of Marmite.

Cress, xxx

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Hello ladies
I only seem to get on here once a week so have had a lot of posts to catch up on. Welcome to all the new ladies xx
Maire, Cressida and Cybele you are all doing so well and its very reassuring for myself to see how you are coping, also to everyone else who has recently started or already undergoing chemo (I’ve just read about 20 posts and can’t remember everyones names, sorry).
Well I finally got my results yesterday, this is what the consultant wrote down for me - T2 (5.0cms) N1/17 Grade 3 ER+ - which I think translated into English as only 1 lymph node out of the 17 they removed was affected, Grade 3 means it was a fast growing cancer, however good news is they got it all. I havent stopped smiling since yesterday afternoon. I didnt realised how stressed and anxious I was until this point.
Next steps, Chemotherapy - FEC-T, Radiotherapy and then Tamoxifen.
I have my Oncology appointment on Monday so will have more details then.
I was so excited when I went to pick 2 of my daughters up from school yesterday and they were very pleased with the news. As my purse was a bit empty this week they both treated me to dinner at the local Brewers Fayre (with a promise I pay them back after xmas lol). My youngest (7) just kept saying “so you don’t have cancer anymore?” She was a bit disappointed that I still need the horrible medicine that will make my hair fall out (I think she is more concerned that I will turn up to school with a bald head on show and embarrass her).

Ok, so onwards and upwards, not looking forward to chemo but appreciate its a means to an end. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be the rollercoaster ride that is ahead of me.

Dawn

xx

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Nausea - ad nauseam.
After a week of keeping going, I think I’m ready for my first sofa day today. Feeling so rough.

God, I HATE this.

Going to call up and ask about more sickness meds - only got the Domperidon left, feeling a little insecure.

And it’s starting to hurt when I pee… even though I am drinking litres of fluid a day.

Dawn - so good to hear you have good news, and can see the way ahead xx

Cress - your husband better replenish the Marmite supplies, quick. Did you know that the Oxford St Xmas illuminations this year are, bizarrely, Marmite-themed? It says ‘you either love it or you hate it’, next to a figure of a small child, or possibly an elf, which appears to be throwing up into a hat.
Sounds as if that particular image could have been sponsored by the Chemo Manufacturers’ Association, come to think of it.

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Cybele - I found that 5 days after treatment it got worse for a couple of days but then it slowly gets better. Although I think I now have a new definition of “better” (anyone for Mr Creosote?).

Marmite lights?? When I was having my early manic christmas day out in London I did not see these. Prob cos I was looking at my mulled wine.

Hubby has run away to work prob to avoid grumpy, sicky old lady he only wed about 3 years ago. Have to wait for more marmite.

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Sorry to hear your nausea is still there Cybele. Damn! Mine just gradually went and left behind a kind of acid stomach for a while. I did have a minor gag moment after my trip to the wiggy woo supplier but that was pure emotion!
I’m with you on the swimming and walking. I love the sense of calm that comes upon me when striding out.
I’m now day 17-sore throat but am ignoring it-otherwise I’d have to make a visit to the hospital and probably end up with many more diseases. I reckon my immunity must be building up so will do a bit of salt water gargling. I’m fed up obsessing about every ailment. Why is it always Saturday that these things appear?
Hair is still attached although there is a little more tumbleweed appearing throughout the house. My next blast on Thursday should get rid of the rest of my locks. I keep thinking of that moment in one of the Harry Potter films when the Whomping Willow loses all it’s leaves in a oney! Roll on spring and new growth (leaves, hair and cells hopefully!)

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Right girls, I don’t want to scare anyone (esp after seeing your post Maire) but I need a Howard Hughs moment. Norovirus is rife in hospitals (and cruise ships - I was just on the Azura a few weeks ago). I am not sure if you will all be aware that it is not killed by hand gel so please wash your hands carefully with hot water and soap if you have to go to hosp and try to aviod the toilets and restaurants. People don’t wash their hands and it lives on surfaces for ages. I really don’t want any of you lovely ladies to have to spend any of Christmas in hosp - cos that is where they will make you go if you get symptoms.

Rant over. Please don’t be paraniod, but please do be careful. So Sorry if I made anyone’s paranioa worse.

xxx

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Hello my friends,
Cressida no I don’t think that at all but you make me feel a little better and knowing how rubbish you feel I really admire you for it. I loved your rant as well I had a massive one today between sobbing moments. Whats with the marmite is it good for you I do love a bit of marmite!
Cybele so sorry you are feeling so horrid. My infection seems to be getting better but have now finished all antibiotics so let’s see what next week brings. My hairdresser came today phoned beforehand to say she had a cold so she came to dry my new short hair and we did look a site my daughter, me and my hairdresser all had wraps around our mouths and noses we did look a sight . I am paranoid and have not even started chemo because of this bloody infection, good god. Tried my wig on today whilst house was empty no comment at this stage all still scary but at least I had a go.
Maire I agree with the obsessing mind takes a path all on its own and can’t seem to control it, at least my diazepam calms me for a little while.
so sorry you are here again MZ6507, you have beaten it before and will again. We all take strength from each other, cry with each other and above all stands tans each other and can be honest .
My mummy now here from Norfolk, I live in Birmingham and she is, like all my family and friends amazing .
Love and hugs to you all .
Cathie C
xxx

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Ps stand tans meant to read understand!!! Now can’t type
Cathie C xxx

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Sore throat not sore any more-God what is going on with my body/mind combo?
Feeling good, so seriously contemplating first wine of the chemo journey. Now I love my wine girls, but have been too feart/sick so things must be looking up!

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Kept on feeling pretty ropey all day, but I did at least manage to write this:

The Chemo Demonology - today’s post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

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Hi Christmas Crackers can I join?
Feeling crackers atm like Cressida my 1st chemo was set for last friday but no sign of consent form so chemo delayed till tuesday after PIC line put in.
Thanks Cybele for the info about the PIC was good to hear it was not as bad as my imagination was telling me also thanks for ‘Chemo Nights’ which is brilliant read.
Like mz6507 its the second time around for me, last time was 19 years ago but treatment/procedures have changed so much feel like a very old fish out of water. So need this place to read,learn,chat before I dive back in again.
Love and Hugs to you all Sheila x

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hi crackers
just had few days in hosp with flu symptoms wen i went in my temp was 39 so no way was they gonna let me home. wen i went in got the worse pos news worse than even finding out i had bc in first place just been told its spread to lungs and liver n cos of been ill they delaying n changin chemo dont no wat to yet though just said longer n more intense n prob no radio now but they said it very agresive but treatable so confused feel like im back to square one so scared n feel like cryin all time again x
sue x

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Morning, all - been up since 5.30, mind racing - I stiil feel as if I’m on steriods, very very SPEEDY.

Still, I guess the old chemo brain will be setting in soon enough.

Welcome, Sheila P, and sorry about the delay - what is the matter with these people? How hard is it to organise a bl***y consent form for something as important as this??

Sue. MASSIVE HUG xxxxxx and LOTS OF LOVE xxxxx That’s awful news, but we’re all here for you xxxx just focus on the word TREATABLE - it’s amazing what they can do, and I’m sure there will be lots of women on here who have been in the same dark place as you are now, and are still here, because it is TREATABLE, and they will be able to help you get your head round this.

That’s the amazing thing about this site - whatever you’re facing, there’s going to be someone here who’s faced something similar , who understands, who can help. I’ve been so impressed, reading round the various thread, at all the women who have long since ‘graduated’ , as it were, from breast cancer ,and are getting on with their lives, but who come back and post to help others who are now going through the same ordeal.

In other news, I don’t want you all to get too excited, because it may be a false alarm, but this morning, although I’m still feeling queasy, I’m not feeling QUITE as queasy as I was yesterday morning. I think.

Otherwise am becoming convinved that my my fingertips are starting to go numb, but that’s about 99% sure to be my rampant chemo paranoia…

R & I spent a very pleasant evening yesterday watching a Gavin & Stacey multi-episode marathon on Dave, culminating in the Christmas Special, which I had never seen before.

It was the perfect antidote to chemo.

Hope you all have as good as day as is possible xx

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ps Sheila - re the PICC line, I found the installation of it was probably the least unpleasant thing I’ve had done to me over the last few months. didn’t feel a thing and, although it’s truly weird to think that they’ve pushed a little tube all the way up insdie your arm and round int oyour chest, you really don’t know it’s there.
Can’t remember if I posted the link to where I got my PICC line cover (godsend for the shower) from, but in case I didn’t, it was from a medical retailer on eBay:

ebay.co.uk/itm/LimbO-Elbow-PICC-line-Cover-/260553844312?pt=UK_Health_Beauty_Mobility_Disability_Medical_ET&hash=item3caa382658

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Ok, now been scrolling back to see if there’s been anything I missed:

Cathie, glad to hear that your infection is getting better, and the image of you and your hairdresser really made me laugh!

Maire, ditto re sore throat, hope that wine was good. At the moment I’m staying off the booze, officially because my liver doesn’t need any more toxins to process right now yadayada, but really because I couldn’t face it right now, anyway.
But 18 weeks with no red wine? DIFFICULT.
Mind you, the wine intake between diagnosis in September and the start of chemo was PRODIGIOUS. Pretty much the only thing that kept us going through some of the darker nights of shock and horror. And of course, reservatrol, the compound found in red grape skins, is anti-carcinogenic - we’d all be fools not to, really…

Cressida, thanks for the Norovirus info - I didn’t know that. Going all Howard Hughes seems like quite a sensible thing for us all to do, in the circumstances. Marmite supplies replenished yet, or are you still going cold turkey? That must be baaaad.