Totally agree Chris, but sometimes the thoughts break through against our will 
. xxx
Ladies just hopping in (as an old Embarking on an adventure girl)… I’m 2.5 yrs post chemo, back at work full time and have hair! so yes there is life after chemo… and one of my ‘positives’ about being bald? It was good for getting rid of cold callers 
I wish you all well on your journey x
Nice to hear from Dee,been there survived that.Thanks Dee 
Oh dear, we are all in the doldrums at the moment. I was having a conversation with a good friend this afternoon about my fears of a recurrence/new primary and having to go through this all over again. I honestly don’t think it had struck her that I was at high risk of this. I think it shocked her. I’m not even sure what the risk is myself. I never read the secondaries threads either, but reading some of “after treatment has finished” threads it does seem we are in for the long haul, mentally and physically.
I am sorry so many of you have had bad days recently what with bums, mouths, bone pains, body image, tummys and now the doldrums. My mouth is awful, dry and slimy at the same time, and my tummy is rumbling and complaining all the time non-stop and I don’t know how to stop it. The diarrhoea comes and goes. And I stubbed my little toe 2 days ago and have a huge black bruise across my foot making it painful to walk.
Wattie - what a nightmare for you. You should see inside my handbag, it’s full of wet wipes, tissues, foam hand wash, Imodium, you name it, it’s there. All I can say is, what a good job the French have proper toilets these days and not holes in the ground! LOL
Chris , it isn’t like you to be so down, you have always been the bright cheery one carrying on almost as normal.
I love my berries, raspberries, blackberries, strawberries etc but am afraid to eat them. Are you eating them, and if so, how are you washing them? I have tried soaking them in Milton but that just makes them taste odd.
Hugs, Linda xxx
You’re welcome Chris; I was just reading through some of your post and it brought so much back; thinking oh gosh I remember those days… And then I realised how far I’ve come… xx
Linda I am ok just have moments of gloom sometimes.I am sorry to say I never wash fruit before I eat it,never have,have also drank from a stream in the Lake district only to find a dead sheep in it further up 
I don’t use handwash unless I am out and hands are sticky.I just clean the toilet as usual and never wear gloves in house or garden.I think I have only ever been ill from eating maybe a handful of times in 60 years.I am number two of seven children,brought up in a house full of animals and people.Have eaten mouldy bread when out with horses all day as a kid,and eaten around the mouldy bits on fruit and coconut when the fair visited town.Makes me sound like a right urchin,but I have survived this far.I count myself lucky to have had a wonderful childhood,spending time with great grandfather on his farm,no running water,no gas or electric,cooking on the fire and getting water from the well or the trout stream.The toilet OMG just a bucket loo in a shed with newpaper or magazine paper YUK Hence my phobia over toilets.
Those wonderful days of harvesting ripe red juicy apples and victoria plums and pears from the orchard.Playing in the old barn full of hessian sacks and a tractor and running up the road with a handcart with brothers and sisters in.This was near the airdrome at Bassingbourn not far from Cambridge.Lovely memories.
Well that cheered me up 
Love Chris xxx<3
gosh Linda you sound so well organised. i never use a handbag so dont carry handwash etc with me. i do wash my hands frequently and use anti-bac on the worktop but that’s about it. i rinse soft fruit and peel apples and pears but that’s more because I don’t like the skin rather than because of possible germs. apart from the first four days after chemo when I cant stand the smell of hot food I’ve been lucky and have eaten normal meals and have only put on a couple of pounds. my main indulgence has been white chocolate magnum icecreams which my DIL got me onto, i never used to like icecream but these are yummy and make my mouth feel and taste better, well that’s my excuse anyway 
x Yvonne
Hi All, just popped in from January Gems. Iv just had my last chemo today. I found it tough - but kept my head down and got on with it. I did have a moan sometimes - swore and shouted loudly. But have got through it.
I gave the chemo unit nurses a card saying they were the nicest mass poisoners I have ever met. Also had a good old cry. Its been emotional and life changing. I’m a different person now. I’m going to live life to the full now. Maybe I will become a diva, which is a total opposite of me.
Caroline
Yvonne - I am with you on the magnum front!!! I am addicted to mini magnums!!! Try the almond ones too!!! xxx
Nice to hear from you Caroline,well done for getting there,will be there soon myself,be glad to never go back to the unit,even though they do a grand job xx
I want to try magnums now 
Hugs Chris xxx<3
Maryland You may get your link removed by the moderators. I posted the same link a while back and they took it down.
This was the reason I was given.
“I have edited your post to remove the names of the Health Care Professional and webb sites you have mentioned. We do not allow HCP to be named on the forums as we have previously had complaints from them about being mentioned on the forums”
Thanks funki…have removed it myself although have posted it several times before with no problem and I seem to remember someone from bcc posting the link a week or so ago…shame as it is a really helpful article useful to read at the end of treatment when you may be feeling bewildered! Best wishes to all
I must have been just unlucky then Maryland but that was the message they left me after they removed the link from my post. I hope everyone got a chance to grab it as it’s an brilliant article. X
Hi valentines
not posted much coz I was hoping I would start to feel better emotionally so I could be bit more upbeat about things. Today’s posts have made me cry as well, I thought I would be the only one worrying about repeating chemo etc again at some point (coz I have bone met!) and didn’t want to say so, but turns out a lot of us are all worrying about same thing. To be honest I had no sense of relief walking out of last chemo last week, just absolute dread of visiting it again!
i am sure I will start to pick up again soon, meanwhile I will put the face on for everyone as usual and keep going with prep for both surgery (3 wks now), house move (5 weeks) & a couple of weeks work in between!
luv to all xx
am146 This is the one place you dont have to put a brave face on.
Cyber hugs
Funki X
FEC3/TAX3 - TAX 2 day 7
Didn’t post after yesterday morning because I simply couldn’t come round. I hibernated all day, I didn’t even read the posts until just now. Thank you for your support Dee. It is so valuable to have a positive perspective at this time. I really have had enough. I did layour when you mentioned the cold callers. I frightened a chap half to death today when he called to see if we want our, admittedly dreadful drive, re laying…
A well meaning friend called towards the end of the afternoon. I haven’t seen her for a while and I could see the look of shock on her face when I opened the door. I wish she’d just sympathised instead of trying to pretend I looked good. I don’t. Like Wattie, every time I look I the mirror I see Uncle Fester. My eyes have sunk and gone black and the spiky hair that’s returning is grey and scabby
Kath, as you can see from my mood your poem hit the spot with me too. I’m so ashamed of myself for giving up on eating good stuff. The last months have seen me stuffing anything and everything I want to down my throat. I sort of feel, well I look so bad nothing else can hurt. I so hope positive thinking returns soon.
Amanda, I’m glad you posted and everyone replied. I felt just the same and although my moanings won’t help anyone I least we all understand each other.
Tup, it must be the time I the cycle, I’ve woken up hurting all over this morning. Every joint aches. Take it easy today everyone.
Love the car park analogy.
Thank you all for being there.
Thought id say morning ladies while the cloud has lifted,it will prob be here later,oh all these things we are having to deal with im so fed up mainly because im fed up with sitting on my fat bum with no energy,declining offers to go out,i look worse than uncle fester if i put a scarf on it moves,if i wear a hat i sweat,OH wants us to go away for the weekend but so cant be bothered,Oh Chris im with you on the Hygiene front,ive travelled to various parts of the world eaten in some very dodgy places,worked in slaughter houses before all this health and safety i dont wash fruit or veg ive only had 1 bad stomach from eating and that was from eating in our hotel in India from then on we used the beach shacks,We could spend up to 7 hours a day hiking,no taps or toilets on the hills and half the time ive either got a bit of rabbit or chicken poo somewhere on me… .Uncles got a dental appointment well a clean your teeth programme 57 and hes in trouble with the dental nurse(think its a bit late) hes only got 2 missing so hes not doing bad for someone whos got the worse sweet tooth in history,going to grab something for my constipation feel like im full to the neck,hugs to all…Paula…x
Hi All,
I think we have all caught the blues lately. I do a round robin email for all my friends and usually post a few days before and a week or so after chemo, to let them know how I am. I try and keep the posts upbeat, but I am also mostly honest (not mentioned the bum, just called it an infection) about what ails me. I got really upset this round – as like most of you I was feeling more down than normal, and only 2 friends got back to me. I felt so isolated and let down. I feel like they can’t keep up with the course. It may be a long time to be sympathetic – but you ladies know just how long it is to actually go through it. I felt like I needed them more this cycle than any other. However, the ones that got back to me have arranged to take me out for a pub dinner next weekend, and visit the weekend after that. I would like to do something to thank them after this is all over – but I don’t know what.
Also – and this is a lovely story – when I was in hospital in February my husband accidently locked himself out with the pup. He had to tie the pup up in the garden and break in. He broke the downstairs loo window and managed to squeeze himself in, clean up and got the pup back indoors. He had had a really dreadful day – what with me being so unwell and then this. Last month we finally got the window replaced and waited for the invoice. It didn’t come. So yesterday my husband went up to the show room (we also want a canopy in the garden from them) and asked about the invoice. They [the company] decided not to invoice us as they had heard why we needed the window replaced and knew we were going to buy a canopy from them too. They said that we are good customers and that they would pay for the replacement window. It’s little things like that that have me in tears. Aren’t people so nice!!!
Alison xxxx
Chris , Landcress is indeed like watercress - but grows (as the name suggests) on the land. It’s grows really well and tastes lovely and being a cruicferous veg is anticancer!!!
A xx
Sorry to gatecrash your thread again, but have checked and this link (that I posted and removed) was posted by Janet BCC on 26th May so I assume it should be OK. As funki says it is a very insightful, useful and helpful article to read. It certainly helped me last year and hopefully you too if you are feeling down at the end of treatment. All good wishes…