Secondaries? Don’t let’s go there Dyane, fingers crossed. 
Lovely poem Kath, is there anywhere on here I can go back and read your previous ones, they are so inspirational, you’re a genius
Xx
Hi All
Apologies for no personal messages. Although I’ve enjoyed reading all your postings, I’ve been feeling rather ill today.
Seem to have had a bad reaction to my steroids - weird blotchy skin, awful acid reflux and aching legs and that’s even before chemo tomorrow. I’m bracing myself for a juggernault hit this final round!
Had a quick look at the change of hormone status thread which made me think about my sub-type. I’ve never particularly wanted to be unique, but we worked out that approximately only 1 in 700 women have this sort. It is supposed to be favourable and has a different ‘biology’: cells in sheets and a white blood cell infiltrate. I was even told to ignore the high grade, but I do worry about the triple negative status so, for me, chemo was a must.
Hope everyone has a ‘good’ week.
Diane xx
D
Amber, start at
Search Results | Breast Cancer Now
Then I’m afraid you will have to scroll through the thread to find the others. But that link is the first one I put on. The next one doesn’t seem to appear until page 43, but after that they come at regular intervals.
Kath xx
I don’t feel well enough right now to post proper post but just have to say - Kath that latest poem is an absolute jem ! X
Wishing all Vals well
Tup x
Hope you are ok Tup big hugs for you xx
Kath , I didn’t find the poem [where did I go?] sad - I thought it was the best one so far!!! Loved it - Thanks
Alison xxx
Fec-t, fec3, day 6
kath, today’s poem is also my fave so far, thank u.
i had hoped to avoid my now dreaded crash and burn of days 6-10, but failed miserably. Today is just yuck, roll on day 11!!
A x
Evening Valentines
Kath… just loved your last poem!!!
Just need to ask does anyone else feel apprehension just before their next round of chemo? Im due 3rd round on Tuesday and really dont want to go!!!.. see my onc tomorrow …need to mention sore arm… only started last few days but last round I screamed out in pain as it burnt my arm when going in…but…but… another one to cross off the calender…halfway through 
Just wish the sleep fairy would visit me as I hate taking sleeping tablets…grrrrrr
Much love to all valentines and hope Monday brings a better week for you all xx
Sandra, I wasn’t too bad before my second round, but I’m due my next round on Thursday and I’m really aprehensive this time. I think it’s because my nausea was so much worse last time, for the first 18 hrs or so I was close to throwing up several times, though never actually did, I’m scared that if it gets worse by the same amount again this round will be horrendous. I’ve already mentioned it to one of the chemo nurses, and she said to make sure I mention it again when I first arrive to the chemo session and they’ll adjust my anti-emetics, I’m still nervous though.
Hugs to all, hope the sleep fairy visits us all
Jo
x
Sandra I have my 3rd FEC (bloods all being well) on Wednesday. Like you I am dreading it. Not because of a sore arm or even the nausea but just dreading going through it all again. I keep thinking terrible morbid thoughts like " what am I going through all this for when I know it’s going to come back or that I am going to secondaries" I am not normally that kind of person at all and my glass is normally half full instead of half empty. The posative voice in my head keeps saying this one will be the half way mark and you can do it.
Evening girls,
Lovely poem Kath gave it to my daughter to read,her reaction showed me that others,no matter how close,don’t really know how we feel,and what is going through our minds.Her thoughts were,well you are still the same person.But am I?
I read in a pamphlet that if a drug(think the red one) starts to feel like it’s burning,you have to tell the nurse,as it will be leaking at the site and it will burn the tissues.
I found that on the way to chemo, although I tried to stay calm,my brain was making me nervous,I wasn’t worried I thought,but I think deep inside I must have been.Upshot was both times they took my blood pressure it was sky high!!Nurse said don’t worry about your blood pressure it was worse than that the first time!! Natural reaction in the body I suppose.
I keep telling myself that all the ladies that have completed this race said it it do-able,so I keep reminding myself of this when I am a bit low and feeling rough IT IS DO ABLE 
Good Luck to those having treatment and appointments this week,may the nurses be kind,may the experts offer solutions,may the body be strong and may the bloody drugs do their stuff xxxxxx<3 Chris
Dear All Who Are Worrying About Round 3 – I had mine on Friday and as you know from my posted rant that night, it didn’t go smoothly!!! However, so far I seem to be having fewer side effects that in 1 and 2, and although my arm is still quite sore it feels a lot better. The “nice” nurse did talk with me about how many patients have a serious glitch at this point in treatment, so we are doubtless in good company.
One side of my mind says “thank goodness, I’m finished with FEC” and the other side reminds me that I have Invasive Lobular Carcinoma and that is the most common form to come back multiple times. My Surgeon says he often has patients return in 10 or 20 years for another go! Yet another moment when we have to face this one day at a time, I guess!
Love to all and lots of hugs, Louise
P.S. Dear Husband survived Rare Plant Fair in good form and even made a little profit over the expenses, not as good as other years, but pretty amazing when you consider that some of what we sold were just one or two leaves sticking out of the compost; but the clientale was experienced enough to know what they would look like by July or August!
Hi ladies
I usually post in ‘January Jems’ but I have just read the poem by Kath. Wonderful poem…I think it sums up how most of us feel…Well done Kath brilliant poem. Good luck to all of you xxx Irenee
Hi Valentines,
I also have FEC 3 this week (Thursday) and am off to have my bloods done this morning. I am also not looking forward to it. My SE are quite minimal, apart from the fatiuge and buggered up bowels, but I still hate it. My arms is also sore this time - it feels bruised all along the vein and I will mention it when at the hospital. It is going to be a long appt as I have to see a nurse before hand to have a chat about chemo so far. They have heat pads at the hospital which I will use this time (last time I didn’t and the drugs were fresh from the fridge).
My OH decided he didn’t want to go away as he was too scared something would happen. I am disappointed as I was looking forward to a treat, but I understand (2 chemos, 2 infections - I can see his worry - he doesn’t think he will be able to relax away from the hospital).
Good luck all those having chemo this week - half way through for most of us - that’s got to be something. Hope everyone else is coping with SEs
Alison xx
Hi all xx day 14 Fec 3
my good week hopefully , no change in SE’s still got sore arm & piles ! it’s amazing what I now consider as manageable where before I’d be complaining like mad ! My oh says I’ve been more emotional on round 3 , think I agree with him for once !
I’m with you all on dreading the next chemo , my daughter actually said this morning " hey mam you get your fourth chemo next week then you’ll only have two left " she wants them over as much as I do ,just got to hang on in there .
Never mind Paul smith scarves & chanel nail varnish I have the most sort after accessorie for next chemo , as I had such problems finding a vein I have bought a hand warmer as my hands are always cold , couldn’t find one anywhere until Tescos came up trumps with a Peppa Pig one , not my usual style but who cares lol !! I’ve hid it from Scarlett !
Interesting how a few have mentioned the dread of this returning , it’s not something we have discussed much but it must be all in our minds . I had a wobble yesterday trying to find something that would tell me my chances are good but then I just think if I was told I had a 95% chance it would come back then I would spend the rest if my life worrying but who is to say I wasn’t in that 5% , if u get what I mean , so I am trying to instill my mind to think what will be will be & as long as I cut back on stress & alcohol , eat healthy & exercise then I’ve done my best & it’s up to my body if it comes back. I feel I have a lot more questions now I’m over the shock like I’m 4/8 ER+ is that better than 8/8 or will tamoxifen not be as effective ? How will they know im NED if i havent had scans Etc etc … Done my own head in to be honest so stopped googling & watched a film instead !
Good luck for everyone this week , halfway is amazing & isn’t time flying ! We must be having fun ?
Loved the poem Kath, sums everything up perfectly x
hope ur ok Tup & big hugs to anyone feeling bleugh
Big Hugs to everyone
Karen x
Good morning Valentines. FEC 3 day 7. Minimal SEs, reasonable night’s sleep.
Alison - I wasn’t looking forward to my 3rd cycle at all, and have had sore veins, but the nurse who adminstered the drugs was lovely (although all the nurses at the Marsden I have met so far have been wonderful) and this has actually been the easiest cycle by far. I am sure it will go better than you are fearing.
Angie xx
I am soooo bloody p***ed off - just typed out a massive post and its gonnnnnnne!! 
will try again later but Kath very moved by your poem ‘where did I go’ - so beautiful x
Sarah xx
Oh Valentines, please don’t start worrying about the future and what may (and statistically won’t) happen. Let us all get rid of this present lump of poo first … remember what was said right at the beginning when we were diagnosed? One step at a time. We have enough to worry about in the present.
Lots of hugs, Linda xxx
Good morning Valentines
Due my 3rd FEC tomorrow. Thanks AngieK and Karen for your great comments. I was so scared the SEs would get worse the more chemo you have.
Had a bad experience yesterday - last night was very hot after being freezing most of the day. I had a sore throat and tickly cough. Took temperature and it was 38.3 - so panicked and rang the hospital. They said to come in so I went in at 1 am. They took bloods and there is no infection but after sticking in needles and having blood all over the place (nurse left the cap off the canula!) and the needle in my hand stuck into the plastic (whatever that meant). It was very painful and I’m not squeamish about injections. Gave me antibiotics through cannula which made me instantly sick (just a mouthful) into my tea. Anyway sent home at 4 am with more antibiotics. Hope this won’t affect my chemo tomorrow. Anyway they said my platelets were fine and it should be able to go ahead. Will ring in the morning.
Lots of hugs to you brave ladies. Sorry about the rant.