Me again!
Rattles - yes, FEC3 due on Weds, as long as my bloods have recovered ok.
You’re so right about the great individuals making the NHS what it is, it’s the bureaucracy that seems to cause the problems (like the rubbish systems they have at Squeaky’s hosp). When I had my op, the ward nurses were really lovely, I got a few hugs before being sent home! The little things made such a difference, like the nurses putting ice in the water jugs.
Finding it hard to stay awake after the excitement of a weekend away, off for an early night to (hopefully) boost the neuts ready for my blood test tomorrow.
Alix xx
Have had no call from hospital so looked like I’ll get fecced tomorrow. Didn’t sleep well last night thinking about it. I think I’m okay but sub conscience thi is otherwise. Will be thinking of you Alix. Hope your neuts pulled their finger out for the blood test. Physically I didn’t find FEC 3 too bad. It was all the half way comments and the thought that I was ONLY have way that broke me! You and Rattles are right. It’s people that make (or break) the whole experience.
Am worried about the quiet people. We need an Elizabeth update! Our mascot will be getting big. And lets face it I bet she has better hair tha. The lot of us put together!
Love and min se to all xxx
Well my puny white cells made it just enough (neuts 1.5) to allow TAX tomorrow!!! In my rush to leave the hospital to get to my daughters swimming gala (where she won 3 races - so proud!!) I forgot that doc hadn’t given me any steroids. So I phone this afternoon to be told that they would would write out a prescription for me but as I can’t get to hospital OH has car I won’t be able to get them till later this evening - think I’ll be awake all night - bum!!! Hope everyone else is ok - good luck with FECing tomorrow Doggirl. Alix - hope your bloods made the grade too!! Squeakymouse - 1 day post TAX - any SEs yet??? The doctor i saw today really played down the SEs of TAX - just mild flu like symptoms - lets hope she knows what she is talking about. She also doesnt think my nails will fall off either…we shall see… Kittenmad - I hope your arm improves soon. I mentioned my sore chemo arm to the doc and she didn’t seem at all concerned and said it would get better in time. Rattles - I hope you are still healing ok from your op - your def sound perkier!! My children breakup this Thursday, they are 12 and 10 so can look after themselves a bit more when Im feeling rough but I still feel terribly guilty if I’m not up and about being an attentive mum…Have a nice evening all, Em XXX ps. I may be posting in the middle of the night in a steroid-induced frenzy, so I will apologise in advance for any insane, wide-eyed, middle of the night ramblings…
oh dear i appear to have posted 4 times and i havent even had any steroids yet!!!
Hello all. Sorry its been so long.Its lovely to be missed. Elizabeth is growing big and strong she is 14wks now. Time flys in some ways! She can just about giggle and sleeps from 7 til 5.30 every night thank goodness. My first fec was ok really they gave me Emend and it is magic. No sickness at all. BUT i found it really hard emotionaly. Had a real down week. Feeling much better now and doing normal things. Had a suspected dvt so had nasty injections for 3 days until they scanned me. They also told me to stop white cell boosters as my count was high then when i told bc nurse she was cross and said they would be high thats the whole point! Never mind i am ok and think they have nasty se of their own. Had an echocardiogram and mon an MRI today and Elizabeth has an outpatients app on thurs. Thats 5 hospital trips in 10 days. We live 30 miles away… Trying to give my mum some time off so home alone some of the time and really enjoying it. Feels more normal. I meet the surgeon next tues so hoping i will get a date for surgery. How long do they leave you post chemo? For those struggling with the ‘halfway’ thing i found this really hard but now i have done 4 i really do feel the end is in sight. I was really scared of changing from docetaxel to fec sort of better the devil you know! But it was fine. they are both horrible but a change is as good as a break… I think of you all alot and so glad we have our team to get through this horrible journey.
Hi everyone. Sorry to see most are having a rough time. I’ve felt a bit guilty cause I doing ok. Not great but ok. I have no trouble with hospital except seem to see different onc each time. SE seem mild and manageable, few ulcers which only lasted 48 hours. Had bone ache cause of the jabs again lasted a week. The lethargy gets to me, starts the emotions going as can’t stand asking for help and feel life is just passing me by. So started knitting again. At least I being creative. Reading everyone’s treatments is so confusing! I had surgery first, bilateral mx, only few node removed which were all clear (yippee), had 4 scans, most tumours were TN. This doesn’t seem to fit with others either. Very strrange. Had bloods done today so feet very sore. Can’t use arms and they won’t use the portacath as it costs too much! Really thinking of you all. I do read most days and try to send happy thoughts every day. Will let you know how the first tax goes, due thursday. Hugs to all. Xx
Thought it was really busy but mostly Emylou! Cannot wait for the steroids to kick in 
Congrats to your daughter xx
Am assuming bloods fine and no news is good news.
Harryduck 
nice to have you back. You are well on the way with number 4 under your belt. Elizabeth is a little star. Sleeping so well.
Sound like you really have had a week of it. Hopefully you are on the up now.
Dorothy DON’T FEEL GUILTY! or Emylou will tell you off lol. It good when people post positive. It let’s anyone who is lurking know that it’s not all bad. Good luck with the first TAX on Thursday.
Thought it was really busy but mostly Emylou! Cannot wait for the steroids to kick in
Congrats to your daughter xx
Am assuming bloods fine and no news is good news.
Harryduck nice to have you back. You are well on the way with number 4 under your belt. Elizabeth is a little star. Sleeping so well.
Sound like you really have had a week of it. Hopefully you are on the up now.
Dorothy DON’T FEEL GUILTY! or Emylou will tell you off lol. It good when people post positive. It let’s anyone who is lurking know that it’s not all bad. Good luck with the first TAX on Thursday.
Ohhh no!! Multiple posts are catching!
Hi All,
Lovely to hear from harryduck and dorothy again and any others I have forgotten. Elizabeth sounds wonderful, I do not remember having a child sleep through the night till they were nearly 1.
Feeling good today so stayed at work for 6 hours- now realise that was too long -as came home and lay on bed to read book and next thing it was over an hour later and had had a lovely sleep.so then went to swimming pool for half hour at local gym as I realise I will not be able to swim with the Picc line in. Do they take it out after final FEC straight away? If so I will hopefully only have it for 3 weeks.
Hope all the TAX people got on ok with it. and those who were being juiced this week. 7 days to go till FEC5 for me -must make the most of the next 7 days. I have my grandson coming to stay Thursday-Sun as my lovely distracted daughter did not know the school broke up tomorrow!! and is working Thurs and Fri. It will be football all the time so its a good job the energy levels are better.
Love
Sorry girls, feel embarrassed by my multiple posts, the shame of it…Took my steroids at about 6pm in the end so will see how it goes. Lovely to hear Elizabeth is doing well and her Mum of course!! Glad some of us buddies are doing well, reminds those suffering that it isn’t forever. Im going now before I take up anymore thread space, Xx
Hi all,
Really sorry about all the duplicate posts this evening, the site is playing up somewhat! I am going through and deleting the duplicates but because the site is on a go slow it’s taking some time.
Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator
Lovely to hear from you Harry Duck! Seems you have had a rough time of it. Hope you are feeling a bit better. So glad little Elizabeth is sleeping so well and doing so well.
Em - how many steriods did you take at 6pm? Why dont you just go out partying for the night!!! So glad your neuts were good enough for tomorrow.
Doggirl - same goes for you. Another one down (tomorrow).
Ambarose - Fec 5- wow! You will be passing the baton on soon.
Dorothy- how will you have your chemo if you cant use arms? Its one thing to give bloods from your feet, I should know, but I had an anaesthetic/iv etc post one of the surgeries and its very hard to believe they will give you your chemo this way? I can see that a portcath is a big intervention for chemo (irrespective of cost) but what about a picc?
I think its really important that this is a place for the ‘bad times’ as well as the ‘good.’ I feel like I put on a front to almost everyone and it really helps to know I can unload here if I really need to do so. Its also so good that we are having chemo at different times- when I feel well, it all seems doable and the SE’s dont seem a big deal. But when I feel ill, I seriously feel that I can never go through this again, and again, and again! I know what you mean about the anticipation doggirl- it becomes like a torture.
Ive had another good day. This is the best I have felt since Feb. Dont get me wrong, I get very tired but this is the first chemo I have actually felt like I ‘bounced back’ I am still finding it hard to cope with the mastectomy and slighltly worried that it is weeping, but its hard to feel too down when I feel so much more like my ‘normal’ self. I even had a foot massage today!!!
So, hope this gives a lift to those strugging now and a reminder that it will pass. Trying not to think about this time next week…
Good luck for tomorrow- Weds seems a popular juicing day.
Rattles, xx
Hi all
I have not posteed for a while as it has taken me laonger to bounce back after my 3rd tax I als owas admitted to hospital on Friday night after having diarrhoea (is that too much information?) all day on friday. I consulted my list of when to be concerned and it said I should phone after 7 episodes in a day. so off to A & E again where they found my neuts were low 0.5 despite neuralasta injection, Luckily they let me out on Saturday as I did not have a temperature.
Spent a lot of last week in bed - the guilt and frustration I feel, grrr!! I have 3 children age 5,9 & 11. I am going to be on a huge guilt trip missing out on half of their summer holidays.
Like a lot of you I thought I would feel euphoric to reach half way but what and anti-climax, Everyone(friends/family) has been saying to me how good it is to reach half way, little do they know, the thought of doing it all again make me want to run and hide.
Anyway nice to feel normal again and trying to make the most of it, had a nice lunch out today with hubby. It’s eiter famine or feast with me. I soon make up for my lack of eating in week 1:))
The only disadvantage of having the picc line I find is having to wait in all day for the distrct nurses to come round, what a waste of a good day!!
I hope you are all not suffering too badly, I have been reading all your posts, it is such a comfort to have you all and read all your stories.
Lou x
Hi all, had bloods done today, hopefully neuts will be ok for tomorrow, and will not be delayed, fingers crossed :goo hope all goes well for those of us being juiced this week love Toni xx
Hi everyone,
Just come round from being Tax-zombie since my third (and last) Decetaxol last week. The relief of feeling more like me again is fantastic (I’m just ignoring my metal mouth and funny feet). I too was very down last week, here’s hoping we can make a run at those final treatments. I’m putting my anxiety about changing to FEC out of my mind (ha!), weird how I too would rather carry on with the ‘devil’ I know… but you’re right harry duck - might as well have a change, lol.
Had my nails re-painted a nice fetching dark brown today, seems to be working and they are still growing/ not drying out too much. And baked ginger-nut biscuits (excuse - good for nausea)
But my best news of the day is that OH has agreed to go all out and commit ourselves to getting on our mega-holiday, planned eons ago, to see a total solar eclipse in Oz in October. So balance paid today! My Onc is also very keen for us to go - helps motivation thro’ this chemo - but with only 6 weeks after last FEC I’d better just not get infection / delays… I had big arguments about continuing our travel insurance cover, but after threats to go to the financial ombudsman, we’ve managed to renew (maybe I could have bought a nice bike with the money, but going all that way without cover would have made me sick!) We had already booked flights and didn’t want to loose this opportunity - who knows what is around the corner…
Hope all this week’s treatments go okay - thinking of you all, will try to post just once 
Jx
Hi all
Great to hear from Harryduck, Dorothy & Lou, and the more regular posters too! Jellipops, wow, a trip to Oz is definitely something to look forward to!
Just called my chemo unit, my bloods are sufficiently recovered after my week-long delay to have FEC3 today. I actually said ‘fantastic’ to the receptionist when I heard, then came off the phone and had that sinking feeling… at least I won’t be getting any further behind my buddies.
Doggirl - hope you’re feccing goes ok today, and fingers crossed for your bloods Toni. Good luck to anyone else due for juicing this week, and hope everyone else has minimal SEs.
Love to everyone,
Alix xx
Morning May buddies,
Phew! called hospital last week (thanks Squeakymouse, you were right). Had to go in Friday evening, they immediately sat me in a chair and hitched me up to fluids and antibiotics. They said my infection reading was 63 (whatever that means) and was quite bad. I came out yesterday feeling a bit battered but better. Scan today and treatment again next week (4), blimey can I get off now please is how I’m feeling. Well within myself and actually virtually no side effects (on 6 taxol). One thing made me laugh, at midnight on Friday a porter drove me in a chair for an xray, miles of corridor and all the time telling me the Mayan calender ends this November (end of the world sort of stuff). I told him something to look forward to then, a very surreal experience.
I’ve read all your posts but Squeakymouse, I think your experience takes the biscuit really, a terrible way to be treated.
Love Claire
Morning buddies, had a shower this morning and gave my ‘lazy arse’ tumour a good talking to, letting it know that the TAX patrol is coming to get it later today and I’m sure its now quaking in its boots!! I’m attempting to go into my TAX journey in a positive frame of mind especially after reading what Rattles said about how women a few years ago were campaigning to be given this drug as it is so effective - thanks Rattles we should consider ourselves lucky ( well ok, maybe not that lucky, but you know what I mean…). Good luck to everyone else being ‘done’ this week. Squeakymouse - hope you are ok and you still have your squeak? Jellipops - your hol sounds fab - what a lovely thing to look forward to. I’ve been planning (in my head so far) a special family holiday next year possibly to Thailand - i know OH has always wanted to go there and if elephants are involved my daughter will be happy and lovely beaches will keep us all happy. Thank you mr legal and general for paying out our critical illness claim!!! Going to try a bit of hovering while I still can…Em X
Yay, TAX one in with no nasty allergic reactions!!! Wearing my sea bands this time and repeating to myself the mantra ‘I will not be sick, I will not be sick’. Will let you know later if it has worked!!! Em Xx