hi all feeling much better today, i think the antibiotics and the half bottle of whiskey in my hot toddy’s are working. still feel like my chest is in a vise and im shining brighter than rudolph at the moment, but hey ho, it is nearly christmas. having a chillaxing day today got a busy week ahead. bloods on monday, chemo wed, then final christmas shop on friday then im gonna put my feet up and wait for christmas to come along, i am usually bad a couple of days after chemo so the sat and sun are out just hope i come round enough to enjoy christmas day. xx
Hi
Not been up to posting so far, such a lot to get your head around and side effects to take in. Also the stress of Christmas time and the season to be jolly!! Ho blooming ho!!
I had my first chemo on 22nd Nov…just had my second on the 13th Dec
My second lot of chemo has been easier to deal with as they gave me stronger anti-sickness drugs. The first time i got so weak from constant sickness and nausea. Hurrah this time no sickness!!!
Feeling like i am neglecting my duties as a mum “guilt complex”. My little 4year old has been passed round the family whilst i rest.
Just more emotional this time and it all seems like such a mountain to climb until i get my life back under control. Fed up of being brave and strong. Trying to be positive and put a clowns smile face on so i dont worry my nearest and dearest. They are all being brilliant and rallying round. I just hate being a burden and want my independence back.
So for more cycles of chemo to go 1 more FEC, then 3 Taxotare.
Confident in a few days i will have my spirit back and be back on track for a the best christmas i can at the mo.
Everyone you are all an inspiration and tour comment so helpful.
Love to all. Keep climbing our mountains. The top has got to be there just over the mist.
xxx
Cookie52 I am sorry you are feeling down I know the feeling well hope you feel better really soon just take one day at a time xxx
Hope everyone1 has a great weekend and not too many side effects.
Keep strong
love yvonne xxx
Good morning sparklers,
Col123 I am so sorry I didn’t get back to you, i am unable to pin down a time to meet, my teenage step daughters are still asleep, pls accept my apologies, could I send you a private message to arrange a time when we can arrange a mutual day & time, when is your next chemo? Mine is Thursday.
How r u feeling today? My eye is streaming I cannot shake this off at the moment, I have had eye drop antibiotics for conjunctivitis, has anyone else had this?
welcome cookie are all here for you.
yvonone my daughters were born at the LGI are you local?
hugs to you, we are all brave!!! Keep sparkling 
mummybear x
morning sparklers im such a happy bunny today, im going to birmingham next june to meet the cast of my favourite show the vampire diaries and they have just added more guests will be meeting 9 of them with hopefully more to be announced, im buzzing at the moment, needed something to really boost me at this time. whooooo so sorry. (running round doing happy dance) whoooo.
have a good day all. xxx
Hi Mummybear - don’t worry - I’m making the most of the peace to write some xmas cards. Ive got stacks to write and if I dont get a move on xmas will be here befoer I know it. This aftenoon would be diffuclt anyway so dont worry about it. I understand about the teenagers still in bed - thats the way it should be when youre a teenager!! Just drop me a message any time to let me know if oyure passing at any time and we can arrange something. Probably be after xmas now with everything going on. Hope your chemo goes well on thurs. Unfortunately, mine;s on xmas eve - which is frankly crap but there we go. have a good day and god luck for thurs. xx
ck - im so sorry youve been feeling as you have. You realy shouldn’t be hard on yourself. Youre dealing with a horrible horrible thing and youre doing really well!! I cant believe youve been thinking about work after having such a set back going into hospital! I can see why as I sometimes think Id like some normality to my life again and theres always the money! but you should really try and listen to your body and rest. your job sounds very busy and I dont think you should try and push yourself until youre really ready for it. Ive decided not to work at all through chemo and I’m lucky that my employer is very supportive but sometimes I cant get up the stairs without having to have a lie down at the top! so I know I wouldnt be able to do it justice. I know some people are managing so much better than me but I dont let myself feel that I’m coping in some way of I can do what they can do. Everybody is clearly very dfferne tin how they responde, etc and im really please for those that can do lots of things but I know I cant so I dont. You shouldnt push yourself too hard. Jelly mould (you are a force of nature girl xmas shoping 2 days after chemo!! btw good luck with chemo on wed) clearly has more energy than me and thats fab - I love hearing about Zumba, etc - but it defo doesnt mean I’m looking to book any classes for myself! im happy knowing others can do it. On the persent front, you really should try and use Amazon and e bay - most of my stuff has coem from there this year and it’s all new and just as if id gone to the shops and bought it, except a nice man in a van has brought it to me instead! I’ve also just got gift vouchers for some of my family who live far away. They understand what position Im in and I can t be arsed to stand in a post office posting parcels. Anybody, who cares for you Ck will totally understand and wont expect anything from you but I know you’ll want to do something so go for vouchers if you really cant face the shops or on line shopping. Try not to stress about it. loads of people have said to me you need to be more selfish as im one of those people thats always running around for others, putting myself out, etc. I’m still doing it to some degree but I’m definately more focused on me and getting through this and I dont think thats a bad thing (although being brought up a good catholic girl - lapsed!! - I do feel constantly guilty just about everything and anything but I try and shake it off as best I can). That wig woman wants sorting out too. Thats so bad. I hope macmillan can help in some way. She really should exchange the wig as it was never fit for purpose in the first place. You need my oh on her case as he really doesnt give a stuff when dealing with people like her and would embarass her in front a shop full of people without a care. I cant do that at all and dont like a fuss but he tells them straight. I’ve had to walk away on many an occasion but its alwasy a fair point he had to make. He just wont tolerate people walking over him which I admire and wish I could be a bit more like sometimes. He’d get it changed I’m sure - dont you know anybody abit more like thatl? if not, he could always call her if you want him to. Let me know.
cookie - ive sent you a messgage.
Something funny from my little one - mum - "where’s this straw from that’s stuck all over your gloves? “oh yeah, that’s from the nest we built for the baby Jesus” 
Kids are great aren’t they?
Hope everybody else is having a good weekend.
Love, Col xxx
Nice one Jellymould. Am going to think about sorting some happy things out for next year. ts great to have something to look foward to. Great stuff.
xx
Hi all glad to hear of all your stories, this week has been bloody awful, family fall ous an infected vein and a blocked gland, now on anti biotics, I have had some very dark thoughts this week. To finish it off my hair started coming ouon today, my second fec is on Wednesday and will only go ahead if bloods come back ok. Before this I was doing ok, but events this week have knocked me for 6. Don’t know about anyone else, but I am so independent and have forced myself to carry on as normal, this week I have done nothing but cry, but hey ho Christmas round the corner can’t wait. Anyhow I hope u are all having a good weekend catch u soon keep smiling.
Morning spsparklers
im on a mission to start fluid intake and sleep catch up as I have my 3rd chemo on Friday and Xmas day will only be day 4 , so I want it to go as smoothly as it can , so fill my veins with fluid and keep the water intake up , I slacked on my second and I found the se’s seam to last longer , so water it is of any kind and lots of it as I need to be ready to get up with my daughter on Tuesday . Still have a few Xmas presents to get so may battle to shops later , but T the mo I’m having a nice coffee and a few biscuits before I make up my mind to go out in this weather
we had a really nice day seeing Santa yesterday , he was a really good one and we go to go around a wonky factory before we saw him lol
hope you are all keeping well and warm ,
xxxxxxx
Hi Mummybear I live in Batley so about half an hour or so from leeds.
I thought I had got away with the sickness this time but had to take the tablets last night and this morning not fair 
Hope everyone had a good weekend and hope those with chemo this week get through it ok.
Stay strong xxx
Morning Sparklers
Here is a thought for you. It occurred to me when I was getting ready this morning. When the hair is gone and you are putting cream on your face, where does your face stop and your head begin? 
I’m off out for christmas lunch with a friend today. I’m hoping it will be fairly quiet as I’m slap bang in the middle of week two and low immune system. Spent most of the weekend pottering around in the house so looking forward to getting out. Did some baking with my nephew on Saturday afternoon, which we both enjoyed and spent yesterday sorting my wardrobe out.
Col, I got a leopard print sleep cap so I look like a bad 1930’s film star lol
CK, sorry you are feeling down. Hope yo feel better soon. There is nothing wrong with feeling how you do, you just need to let it out. There are lots of times when I feel down, upset, angry, p**d off, and now and again ok. I try to go with it and if I feel like a cry I do. There are things I can’t do at times and that really makes me feel useful as I am very independent. I get so frustrated sometimes but when possible try to focus on what I can do, when I can do it. I have a large head too and found it difficult to buy hats in shops as they tend to be one size only and end up perched on top of my head. For some reason I deperately wanted a trilby so went on to Amazon. I got one after I measured my head and bought the right size for me. My wig has adjustable velcro straps inside so it can be adjusted slightly. The wig lady sorted me out as I had it on the wrong setting and it was all over the place to begin wig. If yours doesn’t I would be complaining to the fitter. You have enough going on without worrying about that!
SLM I’m with you on the fluid intake, good luck! I’ve got my next cycle on 27th so I’ll be in a similar position for new year. Not sure how ‘happy’ it will be. On the plus side I have my 50th next year and if treatment goes to plan it will be finished at the end of Feb. My birthday is the end of March, so thinking about what I want to do to celebrate. Hopefully I will be feeling better by then, so it might be my new year then!
Keep strong and carry on sparkling everyone
Shazza xx
hi lovely sparklers just rand hospital to check my bloods were ok and im fine to go for chemo tomorrow, another one down 3 more to go. xxx for those that will be going on Taxotere i found this on another site, soak in a bath of epsom salts for 20 mins it reduces the side effects.
In addition to all Epsom Salt bath benefits, mixing in ginger with the mix will open pores of the skin and further aide in eliminating pain. Stir two cups Epsom salt and four tablespoons of ginger in a cup of water first and then add to bath water. Keep soaking under 20 minutes. This bath is the perfect substitute for a sauna since ginger is a super anti-inflammatory agent. will be trying this one. xx
Hi Sparklers,
Just had a slight knockback - when I thought all was going well. I managed to avoid all colds, flus and vomitting bugs, and went out after day 14 as I thought my body was building its immune system back up.
However, yesterday I had my bloods done (3 days prior to my next chemo) only to get a call from the hospital saying my bloods are all very low and so chemo will be postponed by a week. They have had to give me an injection to help build up white blood cells and also a course of antibiotics. And then today I woke up feeling really rotten - aches and pains in my bones (which they said I could have) and a constant headache; add to that the fact that the entire roof of my mouth has been in bits and on fire for 2 days now, making eating and drinking very difficult. And now to top it all off, my hair started coming out in lumps in spite of the cold cap. If this is meant to be my “good week”, I hate to think what lies ahead of me for the rest of the chemo!!
Anyway, since I kept myself out of harms way and stayed at home for the past week or so, I now have all of my Christmas shopping to finish this week.
Hey ho, roll on Christmas; at least I should be feeling better then and able to enjoy it.
I hope the rest of you sparkelrs are doing well. x
Hello Sparklers!
Well what a roller coaster this ride is! I was having a ‘bad’ week last week, but ‘good’ one this week. It’s so good to come here and read similarities from everyone else re funny mouth and hairloss. I really admire those of you who are OK with being bald - I hate it and cannot look at my face in the mirror without my indoor hat on. Even when I put on my face cream (Shazza - face finishes before hat starts), I don’t like the smoothness of my skin compared to having fine hairs on my face - does that make me sound like I had a hairy face before? I like having the smooth legs without shaving, but hate that skin everywhere is smooth too. Even on the back of my neck. Having said that, I am very lucky and have two fantastic wigs that I love and fit comfortably - better than my normal hair, whatever that used to look like!
I do like to show other people my bald head though - just to freak them out. The bald husband of one friend said “welcome to my world”.
Sympathies to everyone suffering with se at the moment. Good luck to those who have treatments this Thursday and Friday.
Quick joke: Chicken says to the turkey “Merry Christmas”, turkey says to the chicken “F*** off!”
Hi, sparklers, sorry I haven’t been on latley, computor in getting sorted and struggle to get on anybody elses. And dd is moving back home so have been helping her. Went to see onc today and bloods are up enough to get second fec, just a week late but at least I’m getting it before xmas. So hopefully will be good for xmas day. My hair is all off now shorter than my OH. My son is gettong use to it,even went to the shops with me the other day and I was just wearing a scarf. He still prefers my wig. I’m not bothered now am quite happy going about house without anything on my head, a bit cold outside to go without hat. Took a bit of getting use to sleeping as the bristles were digging into my scalp. Hope SE as easing for anybody suffering with them.
Big hugs. xxxx
HI, IM NEW TO THIS SITE BUTLONELY AND STRUGGLING WITH CHEMO. IM ON 2NDCYCLE OF FEC, 3X FEC AND 3X TAXOTERE.
ANYONE GOING THROUGH THIS CRAP, FEELING BIT BETTER TODAY BUT MOOD SWINGS HORRENDOUSB AND HATE FEELING SO ILL. EATING FOR ENGLAND BUT TERRIBLE PILES. ANYONE OUTTHERE STRUGGLING TO COPE WITH THIS NIGHTMARE.
Hi clarebear
im on 6 fec I think , not really sure as was allergic to tax and they have not told me what else they are going to give me , I’m on 3rd fec tomorrow , Im with you on the piles plus constipation and heartburn , and being tired , but the people on here at all in the same situation give or take a week or so , there is smiles tears rants and it really nice to know that you are not alone .
it hard this time of year as every one is happa also every one is full of colds and germs so that does not really help either
chin up Hun , sending virtual hugs xxxx
Hi Sparklers, Had second FEC on 19th everything went fine until 10pm then vomited and continued till yesterday at 3.30pm, Had to get GP in got a new anti-sickness tab as nothing was staying down. But that had to be ordered in so had to wait till 3pm till I good get it. Never been sick like that before. I this whats in store for me next time. Awake now as was late getting the steriods in me. Will be more organised today and get them over with early. On the up the hairs on my legs are starting to leave me so won’t need to save for xmas day lol.
Hang in there if your suffering SE
Hugs all round.xxxx
Morning Sparklers
Physically doing ok but emotionally on a bit of a downer. Think its a combination of the time of year and being almost half way through chemo. Sounds like other people are suffering too either physically or emotionally so its probably normal. Must make more of an effort to lift it over next couple of days, dont want to be a party pooper.
Clarebare, I’m on 6 cycles of EC, had two and third is next week so will be half way through by end of year. I live alone so have the luxury of being miserable in my own time usually. I do get lonely at times but am trying to make an effort to get out and about when I feel up to it. Nothing very exciting, just meeting friends for a coffee or going to pictures, etc. When I’m stuck in the house I’ve been taking the opportunity to do a bit of sorting out of cupboards, housework, etc. But I’ve been quite lucky in that my SEs have been manageable. Keep strong!
Mags, so glad to hear the leg hair is finally going lol I’ve shaved my head as it was getting too patchy, and the brazilian is coming on nicely but still having to shave legs. I’ve got 3rd cycle next Thursday so hopefully won’t have to shave legs for new year!
Hope everyone else is doing as well as they can, keep strong and carry on sparkling!
Shazza xx