Junash thanks for the tips. I’ll definitely invest in a couple of bandages and a shower sleeve. Hope you’re feeling better soon. It’s impossible to feel positive all the time (or even most of the time) but the down times are difficult to get through. It does feel like the chemo is getting harder instead of easier as each treatment comes around. Some of the reactions we’re hearing about are so extreme and we weren’t prepared for them. Maybe if we had known we wouldn’t have gone through with it. I know I’ve come close to giving up. I’m with you on Tuesday. My first Tax and the first chemo I’ve had in nearly 6 weeks. I think it’s even harder if you’ve had a delay. I feel like I’ve had too much time to think about what might happen next time. I keep telling myself that I have only 3 to go but I should really have only 1 to go if I hadn’t been delayed. It’s the start of a new year so maybe an easier one for us? Hope so. I really hope you feel better soon Junash. Sending hugs ? ? ?
Jingo and Peta what a terrible time you’ve had with uncertainty over bones. So scary. I hope it all turns out ok for you both. There’s enough to worry about just with chemo. Another worry on top must be almost unbearable. Thinking of you both and sending massive hugs ???
Peta jingo - hugs your way dealing with the additional bone concerns - interesting reading about the percentages of benign and also the shocking lack of support and understanding from some medical staff.
Personally a better day for me - went to the gym rather than the fridge and also so retail therapy - expensive but zero calories. Hate the blue days more than anything!
Roll on monday to find out if chemo goes ahead on Tuesday - I’m ready for it !!!
Hope everyone coping and Peta you’re right, we all sound battle weary at the mo. Love to all xx
Jingo and PETA, I am so sorry you both have this additional worry. It’s just so unfair that all this horrible stuff is thrown at us. Huge hugs to you both, and please keep us up to date with what’s happening ( if you want to that is)!!
For me personally I’m not having such a good day. Feeling quite down and can’t stop thinking about not having my last two chemos. I feel very “jealous” that you have all been able to complete your quota and I didn’t!!! I know I was given very good reasons why I wasn’t to have anymore, ie I could die, but I still keep thinking I didn’t complete what was set out for me. I am terrified of reoccurance, I think things have come to a head for me because of my friend dying so unexpectedly last week. We, good or bad, just don’t know what’s in front of us. I have only brought my fear of it coming back on here, I would never say this to anyone in the ‘real’ world.
Kinda pi***d off with my hubby today. I went for the shopping this morning and was knackered when I came back. He was like " when will all this tiredness etc get better. Your not getting chemo anymore!! I was gobsmacked - eh I am getting over pnemonia and I have a blood clot in my lung, give me a break. My doc has told me I could takes months before I feel better, so sorry if this is an inconvenience!!! Actually he has been great, first comment from him, better be the last!!!
I’m going on a family holiday to turkey in July so was looking at some holiday insurance today. A lot more complicated to fill in the forms for quotes than the bog standard ones of years gone by. And the prices have fairly raised 
Hi ladies day 2 in hospital rushed in to a and e yesterday with severe pains under ribs they think the increased steroids have affected my stomach and give me severe indegestion sort of pain high up in bloody agony. On morphine to help with pain and started me on omeprozole 2 times a day. Having a camera down throat tomorrow to see what its doing hope it nothing to bad.
My aches and pains have come in today and cant seem to get comfy. I hate this drug. !!!
Ive not seen my kids since i put then to bed fri so all in all emotional tired and so bloodt fed up . Hope some of you are managing ok day today. Xxx
Hi 1852 .my nails are a bit sore today and when I redid my nail varnish I noticed that I had blue half moons at the base of my nails . I haven’t had any sweats so far on pax in fact s e 's are minimal after the dx experience .
Nic Nac thinking of you and hope you feel better very soon x
NicNac So Sorry you are in hospital I’m having a rubbish day but at least I’m not in Hospital, Had enough now fed up of side effects and having no energy .Also a moaning husband today ,uhh as if I need that.
I hope you recover soon NicNac I think our bodies are protesting now and have had enough.
Hope everyone is ok today as well as can be xx
Morning Ladies. Nicnac so sorry to learn you are in hospital…this regime really is the pits but i guess at the end of the day we mustn’t loose sight of the end game. …the prize we are all after. I hope you are getting some relief from the pain and good care from the hospital team. Thinking of you. Xx
Hi Zelda, sorry to hear you are not doing so well…it will get better. I’m also totally fed up with lack of energy and stamina…even with the extra week an improvement in this regard has been minimal. Really anxious about #5 tomorrow and both myself and OH have definitely lost our mojo - both being short tempered and moody - had one almighty row last night… but both treading lightly with each other today, which is something. This whole thing puts us and our family under so much pressure even if we all look to the outside world like we are coping marvellously. Thinking of you and the end is now just coming into view 
xxx
Has anyone worked out how many more onc review meetings we have. I’m really wanting to find out what my prognosis is once these treatments - incl rads- are finished? (Don’t want to miss my opportunity to ask).
Nicnac sorry to hear you’re in hospital. It’s so frustrating isn’t it and scary too. Just keep telling yourself that they are the experts and they know what to do. Hope you’re not there too long.
Zelda sorry you’re having a rubbish day. You know we all know how you feel and we’re here to support you. Our OHs are under pressure too so I’m sure he doesn’t mean to upset you. He probably doesn’t know how to support you and his frustration is coming out as moaning. Not much good to you but you know you have us to moan at. Just say the word and the posse will be there to take you away from it all, costumes and raiding bags at the ready lol
Sending hugs as always ???
Nicnac sorry to hear you are in hospital, missing your children and feeling blue. I hope you get home really soon.
Sorry to hear that everyone is having a hard time, I suppose it’s not that surprising since even ‘non chemo’ people and couples get ratty just after Christmas when work is looming again, and we have so many more reasons to be ratty than they do!
We haven’t heard from Linzz lately I realised - I hope you’re reading and all okay out there Linzz - hopefully you’ve just been drawn away by such a wonderful Christmas and new year. ?
Is anyone in chemo on Monday? Bettypoppit I think? Lainie you are Tuesday along with junash? Anyone else in there this week?
Bettypoppit Hope you do better this time after No 5 treatment I always find I’m anxious leading up to the next treatment because I know what’s coming,but I have been slightly better this time but I have just slept away the time since the steroids wore off not sure if that’s normal but I have slept day and night for about 3 days.
Eating seems a bit pointless as all food tastes horrid so does anything I drink then I feel really hungry and crave carbohydrates.
Carnt wait for this to be over.
Good luck to everyone having treatment this week xx
Hi Peta, thanks for the namecheck :robothappy: I have been quite well this past week or so, and so have done my usual “step away from the internet” routine - my OH has been off work so we’ve been spending some time together and playing at having a ‘normal’ time - even had some lunches out now that my taste buds came back to life. Back online today catching up with everyone’s posts now that my 2nd docetaxel is looming tomorrow. So sorry to hear all the various horrible stuff that’s affecting everyone!
I had good news in fact on 29th, in that my onc was wrong about the 4-5 weeks of rads (SO glad I complained and am seeing someone else from now on) and I am in fact only going to have rads for 3 weeks. Its a big relief as I couldn’t imagine attending every day for 5, and potentially having red sore areas for that long.
My only woe is the hardened vein and nasty bit of phlebitis which hurts like a b**** ALL the time. Its just a superficial vein so not a concern they said but it’s paining me. Not looking forward to having the nasty juice fed through tomorrow.
Hugs to everyone who is suffering and worrying at the mo 
I think even the delayed members of our possie are half way through at least though, so the end is beginning to peek into sight!
I have now trimmed off the remaining wisps of hair and have a v scant skin head . I feel I can now legitimately join the pork scratching breakout posse ! My chosen attire is a pair of ski ing trousers , a knitted balaclava helmet fingers less gloves and a fluffy jumper . Hope that is acceptable ! Xx
Hehe, sounds acceptable to me debtex, this posse is awesome
So sorry to hear you are in hospital nicnac. I hope you get sorted out soon and get back home to your family. I think the October posse has had it bad but we are all coping so well with whatever is thrown at us. I am really really proud of us all, we are just the best.
I hope that those having their treatment this coming week have the minimal of minimal side effects. You are doing fantastic, not long to go now.
My mum, who has been up from norwich looking after me and my family since my first hospital admission, goes home tomorrow. It has been a roller coaster 4 weeks whilst she’s been here, and she has been a great help. I don’t know how I’ll manage without her!!
Son back at school tomorrow. Rads start Tuesday. Will be all go for the next four weeks travelling 2 and half hours a day and trying to get parked. BUT I am hoping to go back to work the beginning of February so progress!!! YAY.
Lots of love and huge hugs to those having their treatment, those with the horrible se’s, and those in hospital xxxxxxx
Thabks ladies for all your kind words im now neutropenic so on antibiotics no camera tomorrow as so risky and have an ultrasound booked then hopefully camera so check to see if steroids have caused an ulcer or damage to stomach. One thing after another pumped full of that many drugs at the minute but temp has gone down to 36.8 instead of 38.3 thats a bonus. Morphine is definately helping.
Sorry to hear some of you too are having bad days we are nearing the end of this crappy stage thank goodness. Lots of love xxx
Hi Nicnac hope you are as comfortable as you can be in hospital . I was not a very good patient when I was in ! Very unsociable and kept threatening to leave ! … Long story ! hope it isn’t too noisy on your ward and you get some decent food .
I took my daughter to a horsey event today and she won her class so that cheered me up . It was v cold , I did wrap up so much that I appeared to have doubled my body mass but still struggled to get warm afterwards . I wonder if that’s another S E of chemo .
Sleep tight x
Nicnac you’re really having a rotten time. Hope you’re not in hospital too long. The antibiotics will hopefully work quickly and you can get the stomach problem sorted.
Good luck tomorrow Bettypoppit and Linzz. Wishing you minimal SEs.
Murphy mums are amazing aren’t they. So glad yours has been able to help you through a hard time. Good luck for your rads on Tues. Are you going to the Beatson for rads? If so make plenty of time for parking. It’s a nightmare. My dad takes me to the Beatson for my appointments so that I don’t have to stress about parking.
Good luck everyone and hope spirits can be lifted a little soon. We’re all exhausted and finding the fight difficult but we’ll get to the end soon. Like Murphy I’m proud of us all. We’ve come through a lot and we’ll get through the rest of it.
???
Thanks LainieG xx
geeG … missing your posts but hoping you are doing good and living it large 
xx
2.30am and suffering the 4x1 x2 steroid hit…tired but not sleepy and had a carb craving i just couldn’t ignore :(. Hubby in bed and sleeping like a baby so now snuggled on the couch in my extra large sofa fleece. Cosy abd hoping i will actually drift off for a few hours.
Hope all having treatments this week fair well and the se’s that are so draining are minimal for us all
The October posse is such and inspiration to us November girls. What you have been through and you all seem to have kept such good spirits or rally round to lift each other when you need it. We’re not looking forward to catching you up as tax sounds the pits but at least you’re coming out the other side and moving on to rads which seems a lifetime away.
Keep it going ladies, hope this week is kinder to you all x
Phew managed 4 hours sleep - chuffed with that just at hospital for dose #5…catchup soon. Hugs to all xxxxx