Good morning everyone
it looks as if night time was a busy time for many of us insomniacs courtesy of the steroids. I’ll be joining the night shift too tonight,methinks, as I’m having last EC chemo today (will be seeing Reeb again!). Woo hoo! Sounds as if I’m excited about it doesn’t it? Couldn’t be further from the truth. I am dreading the HUGE syringes pumping poison in my veins, BUT at least there will be the thought that THIS IS THE LAST TIME I’LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE S**T! And yes, I’m shouting girls! I can’t wait for this ordeal to be behind me.
Big hugs to anyone also having treatment today/this week (Barneypaws, Janvis, Reeb,Cat, Annie,etc…) and to those recovering from the last one (everyone else!). I so empathize with a lot of the things that have been said: the low self esteem due to the chemo look (I’ve turned into a bald and fat uncle Fester lookalike), the horrid night sweats, the intestines that feel like there is a brick inside, etc. I didn’t think this time would ever come (seeing the end in sight) but here I am, still standing. So anyone out there feeling that they can’t be possibly be put through yet another session: grit your teeth and HANG IN THERE! The end of chemo will come for you too! (the worst wobble for me was after number 4. Didn’t think I could hack another one…).
I also have a corker to add to the list of insensitive comments. After my second op I got a card which said- I kid you not- “Sorry you are feeling green under the gills…hope you are better soon” WHAAAAAT? Felt like ripping the blasted card and throwing it in the face of the person (I’m giving you the sanitized version here as the other one would have been censored by the moderators) who gave it to me. Ok, it came from an elderly person but still!
LIF, I am so glad you were released before you had a chance to commit murder most horrid against the obese. Hope you are recovering after the hospital ordeal.
Take care everyone and speak to you in the middle of the night.
Annie & CM, hugs, hope SEs don’t bite too hard. After my post last night still feel cr*p but was pre-menstrual too (wonderful!) so something else to look forward to later today.
**** Barneypaws…Neupogen!! My chemo nurse says that it’s in the NHS guidelines to give it those who’ve had an admission. It stimulates neutrophil production (they use it for harvesting cells for bone marrow transplant)and the needles are tiny and under the skin. I have Neulasta (a one shot one but not on NHS) and get a bit of muscleache in my back, but better than an admission (touchwood it’s working so far).
Hello all insomniacs etc! Hope all feeling better and coping with the drugs, poisons, antipoisons, etc etc. I do feel a lot better for a nights undisturbed sleep plus the elephant pills and need to get myself into gear today as house looks like a bomb has hit…and its never tidy at best of times…!
Barneypaws, I sooooo hope you don’t end up in HM Prison again…hope you get the neulasta jabs, apparently I will be getting them or somesuch like it and am dreading next Thursday when I get the next dose as not got over this one yet…
I am so tired after my little adventure that I’m going to take it very slowly…my problem is I have huge piles of work piling up…literally and customers who cannot be told the truth or they would jump ship…big problem when you are a business that is rather unique with a couple of competitors who would just love to cash in on your misfortune…sigh!
I love what I do and have worked my butt off to make it succeed and to be honest at times i feel like throwing in the towel, but that feels like murdering your child…if you know wht I mean?
I am such a ‘get on with it’ person and am finding this treatment and lack of control over aspects of my life so very difficult to deal with at times. Yesterday the 3rd onc in 3 days said before discharging me…‘are you a sensible person? can we trust you to take your drugs regularly?’ and I felt so put down and humiliated as if I was about 6 years old…Add to that the fact that you have to ask for everything including a cup of tea and smile sweetly and say please…I just find it all too much…and very undignified.
If i ever get to the stage of needing an old peoples home i think I would rather be either gaga or dead!
Hey LIF
sorry you are feeling so dejected and negative at the moment(which is VERY understandable after what you have gone through!) but PLEASE don’t throw in the towel! You’ll come through the other end, I’m sure. You sound like a strong, sensible woman. And you have a great sense of humour, which always helps during tough times such as these. Aim to keep the business ticking over : just do the bare essentials to keep it afloat and postpone the rest but don’t give it up. You WOULD regret it, particularly as, by the sound of it, you built it up yourself. Hang in there. Get some help, if you can. I know you can do it.
Big hug to you
Lulu X
P.S. Are you sure customers would jump ship if they were told? You might find it’s the other way round. Sometimes you find empathy from the most unlikely people…
Thanks Lulu…I’m hanging on by my fingernails…my problem is my best customer is the biggest supplier of organic suff in country beginning with R (please if you know who it is just call them R on here!!!) and there is another company who supply the same product as me (there are only 3 of us in uk) circling like a shark!
I think I know who you are talking about. I’m one of their customers!
Hang in there, fingernails and all! And keep those sharks at bay…
Any rotten meat you can throw at them?
Lulu X
Afternoon lovelies:-)))
just been Reading an article on attitudes and breast reconstructions, on the yahoo homepage, if anyone is interested-can’t do a link:-((( think that those wanting revenge on the cancer do better! I think:-//// chemo brain means nothing makes sense!!!
K xx
Hi all, Just read 7 pages of catch up as out all day yesterday visiting friends.
Reeb - glad you have heating once more.
Juliet - Sorry you had a difficult return to work. I think it feels like we are living in a parallel universe sometimes and getting back to normality is hard at the best of times, so thoughtless people don’t help at all.
Millykins - you’re right about the putting on a brave face, but now and then someone says something that just finds the cracks. Someone told me it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t have the rest of my chemo - it’s only precautionary. Didn’t bother to tell them about the different prognoses (is that the plural of prognosis?)
LiF - so pleased you are out and hope you can hang on to the business. Life is just not fair.
I think I had a better time in hospital - was going stir crazy though. I had the injections - but it was all explained properly to me and I had them at 7pm - not 3am! Also I was in a bay with 5 others - some there all the time, some in and out. Some were quite ill - I was on the oncology ward - so tried not to think of possible further health implications.
Not posted anything for a while as nothing to report… Feeling really normal at the moment and just getting on with things… tidied the house today and done my ironing now the boys are back at school. Have 3rd Tax next Tuesday then i’ll be half way!!
For all those dreading Tax, my 2nd Tax has been really ok and i’ve not really suffered from too many se’s so i’m hoping 3rd tax is more of the same.
Glad you’re feeling well Sarah. I guess the tax-thing for me is I have the option of 6FEC, am VERY sensitive to dex…as in only 6mg yesterday and still got REM from it so just taken second Emend and going to take no more dex as a bit of nausea would be preferable, yes, really) so if large doses are compulsory it’s a no for me AND I have sensory neuropathy from FEC (uncommon) so am more at risk.
If “compulsory”, would just cope, as we all must. Most of mine back to school/uni today…eldest and two youngest (14 and 9), two cats and the goldfish at the latter part of my FEC party yesterday…I keep my arm swathed in a heat pack and fleece throw so the most scary bit is the drip stand and coldcaps. It was MUCH worse having it mid-pm and got a sore vein today as first needle bent and wouldn’t put through enough so it was back to the bit used for 2 :(. My onc nurse is so lovely and chats on about her family etc…just like when I had all my babies at home…but hard to see all this suffering as positive like it was then…lol.
Today I am totally light intolerant and a SOH-free zone. Not me at all. A parallel shadow of me in a parallel universe indeed.
Hi girls
Just to let you know poppy has no internet so has asked me to tell you all just incase you wondered where she was
Hi cookiemonster
Im ok thanks couldnt sleep last night was horrible im day 8 post tax and ok other than the usual tiredness.
Glad your ok x
A big hi to everyone hope your all well. X
Well done Lulu on getting finished. Hope the ses are kind / non-existent for the last one.
LiF - really hope you can get some help with the business. Are there any parts you can get your children to help with? or anyone you can ask to help at the weekend?
Cookie - can’t believe how insensitive some people are. The chemo suite at the hospital I go to doesn’t allow anyone in with patients (except for first chemo), so no spectators. Hope you soon start to feel better after such a horrible day.
Bacca - hope you feel better soon too.
Reeb - good news on the heating oil but it would have been fun to melt down LiF’s lardy male nurse instead. Hope your ses are not too bad.
Everyone else (as in those whose posts are too far back to look at) - hope you are all getting better.
Sarah will that be your last Tax then aswell ?
well done
Lulu crossed the finishing line at last next lap should be a doddle to you after chemo start splashing on the aquaeous cream x
Reeb glad the oil arrived and hope youre cuddled up and warm ( now bet you start with hot flushes and have to turn the darn thing off ha ha typical)
Poppy hope you get internet sorted soon
My sister saw me today for the 1st time without a wig ( forced too really) and she thought my little curls and billy whizz mullet at the front was quite cheeky and I suited it ha ha .Ill have to post some recent pics on pp.
Hope everyone else whos had or due treatment this week has a good one I know everyone is far flung but does anyone fancy a meet up ( just an overnight stay and meal in York April/May time? I think most of you finish chemo by then but it could be a weekend so it didnt clash with rads ( as you get weekend off from rads )Im thinking of booking a spa hotel or something and love York so it would be nice if anyone fancies a meet up Maybe i should book bootcamp and loose the weight ha ha.xxxxxx big hugs everyone Julie
just wanted to say hello and that i did sleep eventually last night but not before seeing 4am!!! …then my son was really restless and ended up oversleeping and not getting to school 'cos he felt below par…we have had a duvet day …hey what the hell -as you say bacca/trish - a real far cry from my usual self and it feels like a parallel universe…please tell me people do go back to normal pace after all this lot???
Hi everyone, to all those who had SE and a restless night I hope you have a much better one tonight.
Julie - sorry your day back was spoilt by such a bitch of a manager. Has she always been difficult or has she been having lessons on how to be insensitive and to be a complete cow? Did you mention how you felt to other work colleagues? As someone else said, the patients will apreciate you and they’re the ones that matter.
Jo - It sounds like that girl has been to the same ‘how to be an insensitive cow’ lessons that Julie’s manager has been on. Hugs
LIF - Keep going Trish. As someone else said is there any way you could get some temporary help in so it’s not so hard on you. I just think that BC has claimed enough of us already to ruin anything else so really hope you can keep it going as it sounds like you’ve set up an great business.
A big hug to everyone, and to all those having treatment, SE, or feeling low, extra hugs.
This house is being a real pain in the neck and if you’re eating I should miss the next bit. Got heating going nicely and decided to have a bath before going for the poisoning. Unbeknown it turned out we had a blocked drain so as I emptied the bath full blown back flow from the downstairs toilet. The phrase swimming in shit had a whole new, and unpleasant, meaning. You’re warned about cat litter but what about full scale sewage! So rather than coming to hospital with me OH was left behind doing a major rodding job and tidy up. Never been so pleased to be sitting there having the poison pushed in. Down side all windows in house are open so nice warm air is escaping.
Julie I’d be up for a stay in York. BCC is having a sponsored walk in Newcastle on 20th March which we intend to do.
@JBT: Yep, night in York good as long as ties up with school holidays and seeing OH’s kids in Humberside and mine being away. And not too close to AS levels. So chances about zero…urrgghhh. Shall we talk about possible dates and stuff on PP?
@Reeb: Hope DynoOH did a good job Reeb. Whatever next? NOTHING, you hear that gremlins? NOTHING. Nice SEs only d’ya hear (is there such a thing)?
Confession: I’ve been bad and not taken my day 2 dex at all and I don’t care! Still got REM from yesterday afternoon’s and so on Emend only day 2 and 3. Heading out of bed for first time today to cook cauli cheese and baked pots. So glad I got curry fix during (yep, leftovers from restaurant) chemo and the night before :).
yes we can talk dates on PP.
ive also put my Nov/Dec/Jan hair photos on and yes you may laugh but take Heed pinkies you also might get the chemo-curl so THINK before you mock ha ha xJulie
Ps i would also be up for doing walk in March Let me know where you meeting etc .
Bacca hope you feeling better you rebel x
