Julie sorry about your OH hope you’re not feeling guilty. He must be helping you not to lose your nursing touch whilst you’re on holiday now that you’re back at work. Take care of yourself and him.
Jo - glad you saw your onc and I hope you get your emend for later today. Probably looking so glam in preparation for yout evening treat that did it!
Summer - sounds like if you mention anything to your friend she may be the type who will either not hear a word you’re saying or takes the real hump. Sounds like you could do with a little distance but I suppose it’s how much you feel you want to have contact with her later if you risk offending her. This certainly helps us work out just who true friends are and what motivates others.
jules, i feel bad for laffing at the tomatoe soup, lol, was funnythough, sorry OH has swine flu, did u have the jab. dont you go getting it. xx
summer, i have come to accept that we cant control peoples ways and that just because we act in certain ways and some friends do there will always be the odd ones that cant be really hard work. and better the devil you know, i had a friend like yours, she is now an x friend, and i dont miss her at all. friendship has to be a 2 way street. xx i do also think though that some people actually cant deal with tuff times and in a way i feel sorry for them because one day they may be going through hard times and then expect people to help and they may not!
jo, glad you enjoyed hairspray and chippies. xx
duran duran my favorite band ever the in the whole world have annonced a tour today, and im away!!! its the first time they have toured that i ill miss them, i have seen them about 16 times since i was 14. lol… but im ok about it. !! lol
not posted for a bit and tried to catch up - gosh the comments about friends are so true - and no we can’t control other people’s reactions/behaviour but it still hurts so much when friends are not there for you.
i have a couple of really close friends who keep telling me to be positive, both have said it is draining for them when i am down. i find that makes me feel guilty for sharing my feelings with them and i have withdrawn.
i have also been told i should be celebrating being half way through my treatment but if i am honest i just don’t feel like celebrating the fact that i have got the same to come - am i wrong?
had FEC4 a week ago and have felt groggy and no energy this week, hoping to pick up. how are the TAX side effects going for those of you who have had it recently?
feel i neeed a bit of a boost from you lot today. want to send hugs to you too.
Little Angel, Aren’t they lucky - just a few minutes of you saying tou feel drained. three more chemos when you’ve just had three still feels like a long haul. you just start to feel Ok again and know you’ve got to go through it all again - and again - and all the rest when the chemo is finished.
Best share your downs here with those who understand. Hope you’ve got some better friends as well. It’s often surprising to find out who your really good friends are.
I had tax yesterday so SEs not kicked in yet(except acid reflux), but armed with lots of meds in readiness.
Big hugs to help you through the journey. Stella xx
Hi little angel, I TAX-ed for the first time on Monday and feel OK, just a bit odd. Not as nauseous, which is great as I really hate that bit, feel sort of woozy but not dreadful…will have to await further possible effects
I have to say I had a major wobble half way through treatment (post FEC3) I was really down and crying, it didn’t feel like a reason to celebrate but the reverse, only half way through and so far still to go but I do feel miles better now so hang on in there with all the b*******cks, it will improve, honest!
LA, I’ll be around FB most of the day if you want a chat. We can compare degrees of cr*p…lol.
It doesn’t feel like anything like celebration after 4 and no-one who’s not been there/here can possibly understand the huge amount of physical and mental energy involved in getting through this stuff.
But there are worse places to be…like a WW1 trench or the only survivor after a nuclear holocaust. So we’re lucky, right and complain too much? Grrrrrr…
LA - My last FEC (which was #3) really took the stuffing out of me and I didn’t feel ready for the first of the TAX. It’s such a long haul and Yeah we may be half way but half way just means you have to do the same all over again and it seems like it just gets harder. But we’re all here for you so mega hugs.
SJ - hope it goes well today.
Stella - hope it’s going ok.
Kaz - bad luck about Duran Duran - if you’ve seen them that many times you really should be up on stage singing along.
Had my first Tax of Wednesday and it is nice not to have the immediate nausea as with FEC however whilst out getting the shopping this morning I’ve developed a twinge in my left hip. Hope it’s not the start of the se’s.
This might be tmi so I apologize in advance - but before shopping I went for my massage at the hospice which was lovely and relaxing trouble was along with the relaxation came a bad bout of wind. Tried desperately to have a relaxed back whilst tightly clenched buttocks. Was so glad when after the massage she left me to rest on my own for ten minutes!!
Hi pinks.
Reeb hope u got rid of all your wind. Wonder what she thought when she came back in the room!
Little angel sorry bout ur friends and Suzy. I find I keep things in to protect people but my good friends know when I’m nor ok and make me talk to them.
Poppy sorry you’re missing Duran Duran. I’m sure they’ll miss u too.
Am booked in on LGFB on 15th feb at Kingston too! Hope will be ok. It’s 11days after first tax. Fingers crossed. Will be able to meet cat n Millykins I think.
Had t White cell jab yesterday. Ok so far. Will see how next one goes.
Hugs all round.
Julie hope ur husb is ok. Xxx
Polly xx
I think the majority of us have had a wobble at Fec 3 i know this was my worst time but you will feel like celebrating when you see the end in sight so have that champagne on ice for chemo 6 woo hoo it does get easier after no 4 and you can see that finishing line so keep going you can do it xxxxx big cyber group hug everyone xx
And Kaz i hope you feel as guilty as i do at laughing at his tomato soup vomit/bleed ha ha hes much better today with extra medication has actually ate some home made broth and had a bath and clothes on so much improoved xxxthanks for all you’re kind thoughts
I know my hairs growing but i have ordered another wig ha ha im quite into this changable me look ha ha Julie
Fab news polly - we’ll be able to muck about with our eyebrow drawing together!!! - me, muck about, never hee hee -must behave self!!
WELL - the emend saga… dummm dummm dummmm
got there & nurse started getting drugs sorted to inject - anti sickness etc - so thought - better ask cos otherwise I wouldn’t know if I was getting it - & guess what - it wasn’t there… she looked at notes & said it wasn’t written up for me - THEN - oh dear I’m looking at the wrong day - Oh yes - but it isn’t here…
long wait for phone calls - 45 mins later - “very sorry there’s none here as we don’t use it very often”
BUT
they are sending some over from guildford but it won’t be here til after 2pm (it was now 11.30) - Fine says me but I AM having it
so OH & I went off for a couple of hours & did our weekly shop in ASDA (after a McDonalds!!!) - he dropped me back at hosp & then took the shopping home. drug finally arrived in the building at 2.45 but not up to unit til 3.15 plus they have to wait for an hour so I finally got my dose at 4.30 - I know I may be up with the steroids - esp as I got a mega dose to help with the sickness but I don’t frankly care - better to be awake & not sick than awake every hour being sick methinks!!!
so we’ll see if it works now…watch this space.
Little angel - how thoughtless & selfish of your friends. I know it can be hard for others but really to say that to you is horrid - I am so sorry. I am totally with you on the feeling down at No 3 - OH keeps being all positive about being half way through but I just keep thinking OMG got to get through this one yet & then 3 more & TAX too so hard to feel positive about it at all!!! so do not feel bad about that I think it is perfectlyu normal & understandable - just another example fo other people trying to MAKE us feel positive when we just can’t. some people really feel low once their treatment is over cos I sometimes think we don’t have much energy to think too much & focus on just getting through it but afterwards you’re faced with getting back on with your life after all this & that is just as much of a challenge.
Kaz - sorry about Duram Duran - My sis got tickets - I wasn’t in to them but would have been fun
Reeb - so funny - not exactly a relaxing experience then
sorry such a long ramble - I do go on don’t I - If I meet you you’ll realise I talk too much in person too, sorry
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX jo XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hiya, I’m back after FEC3 - and feeling wiped out and a bit headachey at mo. Had different chemo nurse, and I’m sure she whacked the drugs through faster than normal, but even so, it took hours - they were running late, so it was over an hour before we even began.
In the chair next to me was a lady I know through dog showing - she and one of her daughters have whippets, and go to the local ringcraft class, and her other daughter has a dobe the same age as one of mine, so we did puppy training together, and are always against each other in the ring! I had heard that mum had cancer, but was hoping it wasn’t true Anyhow, she’s doing ok, and her daughters came to collect her, stopped for a chat, found out I was planning to drive to the NEC for Crufts, and insisted I travel with them instead… result!!
Going to go blob on sofa now… talk soon, take care all
Well done everyone who has been poisoned today and well done Jo for sticking it out…hope to god it works for you now!!
I know exactly what you mean when its 3 done 3 togo …it still seems like a big deal…
I have tax 3 next week…the last one but still feel sick thinking about it and not at all jubilant…esp as for the first time in weeks I could actually taste tea…just hate the thought of doing it all yet again!
When all that snow was on the ground i was a bit cold but it seems freezing out there…I have not been able to get warm since wednesday and am walking around indoors in thick woolly hat…
I am downsizing my business…sob…but its going to be a positive move I hope…got to sort out customers, suppliers and machinery now…its like stopping a ship at full speed. I have decided to ‘stop and smell the roses’ more but its still a wrench as we had the most sucessful month ever in Dec…unlike the rest of the economy…how bc changes life eh!
Evening lovelies:-)))
hugs to all that need them((((((((()))))))))))
sending anti side effect vibes to sophie and Jo, and anyone else who has has a cocktail.
Hope you husband feels better julie
kaz-shame about you missing duran duran.
Little angel- Im halfway through too, don’t want to celebrate either. :-/ friends and family members who upset me just get ignored now:-) can’t be doing with the negativity! I have an auntie who refuses to say the cancer word, as if it’s something dirty or bad, of which it’s neither. This cancer crap has made me stroppy:-)))))))))
going to see the ‘sound of music’ tomorrow night, hopefully will have the energy to stay out and go for a drink after:-) my best friend is back in hull, it’s bound to get messy :-))))))))))))
Still trying to sort my MacBook out, aaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhh.
Feeling a bit better, day 9 ec4. Bored of this chemo lark now:-)
kerry xx
Jo & Polly - yay for getting on LGFB! …look forward to meeting up and mucking about…best sit in the back row in class Bring on the eyebrows!
Jo - glad you enjoyed hairspray, good to have some fun. Cross fingers Emend works for you! Tax doesn’t seem to have many issues with sickness.
Reeb - lol hope there was good ventilation in the room, she was probably wondering why you were so tense. Massage sounds lovely.
Little angel - big hugs, not nice of friends to be like that, the pinkies are always here for you…no matter how drained or not drained!
Kaz - bummer about Duran Duran…get some CDs on and dance around the house!
Julie - hope hubby feels better and you stay flu free.
Bacca - chemotherapy was first derived after WW2 from mustard gas bombs as they discovered it reduced the growth of lymphoids…so I say complain away
I’m up for Taxol #3 on Tuesday and still don’t think I’ve recovered from the last one…boohoo. Just woken up from a 3 hour ‘nap’ and feel like I could keep sleeping.
Well done to all you wonderful Taxers & Feccers. Hope the side effects stay away for the weekend.
Little angel sorry about your friends comments, big hugs coming your way,
Ladies who have had their cocktails, hope se are kind to you,
Had 1st tax today, hand really hurt while it was going thro, nice not to feel sick tho, came home and slept for 2 hours, feeling a little bit heady, only time will tell!!
Understand completely as fec3 hit me and i was feeling very teary and thought just cant do this anymore although as we all know we will do it cos we are a strong bunch
Julie hope oh feeling better and you have reclaimed the sofa and duvet;)
Kaz sorry you missed duran duran, i saw and met them in 1982, had pic taken with john taylor which i treasure, nick rhodes was busy having his hair plaited by a groupie!!! this was part of my prize for winning carnival queen ( cringe) i met them in the green room as was on saturday superstore and got interviewed by keith chegwin my claim to fame!!
Kerry hope you enjoy sound of music and dont have 1 drink have 2 or 3!!
LiF - good for you for downsizing the business, as much as it is heart wrenching, there are lots of other things to do and you can always grow in the future. Wow nearly at the end of chemo! Another past the finishing line.
Hi All, Still OK at the mo. Guess several of us are wondering how the TAX will hit this weekend - and feccers already know and are suffering. Good luck everyone.
LiF, sorry you’ve had to do that after all your hard work, but knowing you, you will work out the right level to carry on at. Have you got your daughter’s wedding to look forward top soon.
Good luck to her fiance on his bike ride.
Enjoy your last few cups of tea, but just think next time your taste recovers it will stay that way - horrid knowing what’s ahead first though.
Anyhow, she’s doing ok, and her daughters came to collect her, stopped for a chat, found out I was planning to drive to the NEC for Crufts, and insisted I travel with them instead… result!!
Bring on the eyebrows!