Starting rads on Tuesday

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Hi

I’m starting rads on Tuesday next week after 4 EC and 4 Taxotere and bilateral.

Diagnosis in September 07 truly wasn’t a shock for me as I knew I had 1 in 3 chance of getting disease after my sister had it twice.

I’ve had no tears or got angry or anything and I wonder if I am normal. Everyone says to me I am brave and have a good attitude but I’ve not been pretending or anything. I have just got on with it and I’m certainly not brave.

Worried that I am going to be floored out of the blue when I’m not expecting it.

I had reactive depression a number of years ago after a terrible virus which made me lose my voice and hope it doesn’t recur (am still on anti depressants).

I have been so lucky with friends support and OH has been good but I don’t want to worry them.

Sorry if I’m not making sense but guess want reassurance.

thanks very much

Dawnflower

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Hi Dawnflower - I am so sorry that you posted a few days ago and haven’t had a reply yet, I am sure you will get lots more once this gets moved back to the top again. Do hope that your first radiotherapy on Tuesday went OK for you. Having good friends and family to support you makes such a huge difference, and I am happy for you that you have that. You have already been through so much and well done for getting this far. We all seem to cope differently and I don’t think any of us know how we will react to any part of the treatment until we get there. It might well be that you get through this radiotherapy much as you have got through the rest of the treatment. Then again, yes I guess it might all well up one day whether in tears, or anger, or depression, either now or at some future time. Feeling low at the end of treatment is extremely common. So whatever you feel, don’t be hard on yourself, I think the great thing is to recognise if you are struggling and to get help. You make great sense Dawnflower, and the best reassurance I can give you is whatever you feel, however you react, is just fine. There are no right or wrong ways of doing this. You will always find great support here (although I am sorry we were a bit slow off the mark this time), and do let us know how you get on. Sarah x

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Sorry your post was missed - hope your 1st rads session went ok. I know what you mean about the reaction - or none-reaction. I was much the same when I got my dx, very matter of fact and still am. I know everyone around me was waiting for the bubble to burst - and yes I’ve had a few little rants along the way but they were when other stuff happened. I think I just decided that crap happens and I just got to get on with it.

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Hi Sarah and Lilacblushes

Thanks for the posts, it did feel a bit billy no mates!!

The first radz was fine and I’ve just come back from physio, so far so good.

I am quite a realistic person and say what I think (it has sometimes got me into difficulties)! but I handle things better when they are straightforward.

How are you two doing? Hope it’s good for you, please lut me know how you are.

Dawnflower

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So glad the first radiotherapy was ok. Tomorrow will be 24 out of 30 for me! Just beginning to find that my skin is pretty sore, but to be honest it has all been very straightforward from the radiotherapy point of view. Can’t say I have felt too tired, but that might be because I’m not trying to juggle with the demands of work or young children that other women have to deal with. How many treatments will you be having? Good luck - it really is amazing how quickly the time passes. Sarah

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Hi Sarah

Golly, you are having twice as many zaps as me, what did you do to deserve that?!

The hospital recommend aqueous cream and I know that 100% pure aloe vera gel is very soothing too.

Likewise, I’m not currently working and don’t have children to worry about but I don’t know what I’m running on as sleep is v poor…probably chocolate!

Do you have far to go to the hospital, that’s tiring on it’s own.

Hang in there and keep posting!

Dawnflower

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Hi Dawnflower
I to feel like you ,its as though nothing out of the ordinary is happening, I have only had two wobbles one when i couldnt get a Dr’s appointment and cried with frustration and again on monday when i had my planning meeting I behaved like a child because i couldnt have my own way, I am so ashamed of myself its so not like me to behave so badly, but saying that i got what i wanted so it worked even though i dont advocate it. do you think we feel as we do because of the anti deepresants as I have been on them myself for years
Tina57

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Hi all

I’m doing very well following my rads which seems like years ago … it’s actually about 6 weeks now since I finished and other than one boob being slightly tanned looking the skin is perfect… nipple is still a couple of shades darker than the other one too. Stabby pains are getting less and the rock hard boob thing is not as often either.

Am being referred for a bone scan which should be within the next couple of weeks - GP says he has to refer me cos I have a sore back but chances of anything nasty lurking are slim considering I was grade 1 and no lymph nodes involved. More likely cos I still tend to sleep mostly on my ‘good’ side and the pain is lower back on the good side.

Hope all goes well for all still in the rads program.