Hope you are all doing OK. I have streaming nose and eyes - really bugging me as I look like a rabbit! Feeling knackered also and just want to rest, which is not too easy during the school hols!
Lily, what does this ‘bit of blood’ mean?!! He is funny. To answer your question, I did have the Sentinel Node B, and they took out 2 and found C in one of them. I then thought I was having them all out when I had the clearance, but it would appear only 6 taken, and there was no C found in those fortunately,
Yes, funny how we are classified as ‘young’ in terms of this hideous disease. That is what the Prof said to me when I asked how aggressive it was. He replied ‘average’ (!) but said that age was this issue as our cells are still growing quickly. At just turned 43 I sure don’t feel young at the moment, or look it…
About the workplace and saying why we are off. Before i left, I did say to my 6th formers that I was having a serious op followed by treatment, so they could probably figure out what I have. I work in quite a small school (just Yr 9 upwards) so do think by now they all will know. I won’t say anything unless someone asks. All the staff know. If anyone says anything I might try and be amusing and say that it shows I have more in common with Kylie that just looks and a huge bank balance…!
Well, hope you are all doing (relatively) OK. ‘Speak’ soon. Love
Rebecca xxxx
Hi,
just returned from the second half of my 5th dose, after over 5 hours in the unit. It is a pain as the bank holiday meant I had to have it all on the same day. I did enjoy a large cooked breakfast while I was waiting for the results. CMF obviously does not affect the blood so much as my neuts were 4.9 on day 8. Last time I went they were higher than when I started. I must have weird bone marrow that is having some kind of competition with the drugs. I wish I could say the rest of my body was holding up as well, sadly not and def sagging everywhere! The side effects of the first half were much milder than the epi, what a relief. Now I wait to see what the second half does over the next week.
Rebecca, sorry to hear you have a cold as well to put up with and hope that passes soon. Not long till school now, are you ready for it? I am 48 and look 90 currently, so bemused when the prof says I am young! The bit of blood was that they found evidence of the tumour starting to grow its own blood supply. I did not press for exact details as I would probably worry even more, he shrugged it off and said it was nothing and he knows a lot more than me about it.
What happens about you all going back to work. My friend who went back before me had to be signed off by the GP and have a back to work interview with the Head, before she is allowed to return to the school, because of the length of time of the illness. I was led to believe this is compulsory if you are in the state sector, not sure about private.
Hope you are all well. Jen how are you getting on this week. Hope the hand is not too horrible
Lily x
I feel like saying “I’m back!” mostly because the last few days I have just about stayed in bed not having the energy even to string a conversation together! I have found this session the most tiring of all.I reckon it’s because I know I am so close to having the last session of chemo.Thought I would clarify what I was told about my blood too.I have vascular permeatation-I asked what it meant and was told it is where the cancer has entered the bllod stream.The doctor didn’t seem that concerned really.His attitude was “that’s why you are having chemo” and I suppose it has to get to the lymph nodes somehow! So if they are not worried then I’m not either.
As for youth? Well I must be the youngest by a scratch-41,although I feel 71! I am running out of energy so quickly. Even my mother in law is quicker! But in fairness to the doctor I spoke to,he said TAC is a rather potent chemo regime and it is offered because of my age.Doyou all get frustrated though?My brain is working fine just my body isn’t.At the weekend I was lying in bed,trying to run the household and organizing daily life.,mostly because the Olympics closing ceremony was getting soooo boring! Eventually I gave up to the relief of the family.
Work! Work! I so want to get back! I have a meeting to attend on the 2nd September that I’m going to try and get to.I can’t wait to see my students although I don’t think they are in a hury to see me! As for telling you kids,Lily and Rebecca,I can’t see why you can’t say anything.My friends children and the school kids all know that I have this and it has taken away alot of taboo of it.In fact I think it’s adults that have more of a problem and steer away.I found when my son (who is going into year 9) told his friends,he found others had similar experiences and found some true friendships.Don’t get me wrong it’s not something to dwell on but for children to see you can only be a good thing.Sorry to preach but I always found being open works best-I know as teachers you may disagree.
Told you-I’m back lol!!! Well I’m off to try and find something interesting to eat-hmmm! Have to organize appointments too.I’m seeing my plastic surgeon Mr Niranjan next week for my 6 month check then the “Prof” the week after.All go !!! luv Jen x
Rebecca- what are you doing about the Look Good thing? x
Hi ladies,
Jen you sound really ready to hit the last dose, when is it? I am as green as the Hulk with envy having 6 more to do. Well I am so much better on this regime that I actually feel lucky. How crazy is that? How are your hands now?
I have tried to find out more about the vascular movement but there is not much in my books at all. I think they just slip things into the conversation sometimes that go right over our heads. I like to have a good knowledge of what is going on but can’t go too near the scary side. I know what you mean about telling people and actually agree but it is tough if the school come out with a different viewpoint. Will work on that when I get back.I can’t believe you two will bw off to work so soon. I am only able to understand how , now that I have changed drugs.
We are off to Brands Hatch this weekend to watch the Indy car racing and also Lewis Hamilton is doing a personal appearance and demonstartion laps. My hubby is a big fan of any car events but especially F1 and the British drivers. We have passes to go in the pit lanes etc before so should be exciting. I think my 16 year old son might get distracted by the girls!! I am really sleepy after several days of insomnia from the steroids so hope to sleep all the journey to be able to enjoy it.
Lily x
Just nipped on to say I am still about - have had surgery - results Monday. Need to keep busy this weekend, though as usual have left sorting out new school stuff to the last, so will probably do that. Lily, I just love reading your posts, you can write so well, are you sure you are not a Pro? Seems like you are a little better on this chemo, hope the line ‘tube’ has been sorted out. I may go to the next support group meeting at HR, just depends where I am with everything. Wouldn’t mind some company if I do go, feel like a banana on my own, ridiculous at my age I know. Do you think this stems from younger years when girls always visited the loo altogether? Hope the rest of you are all well, forgive me but my fuddled brain struggles to keep up, and that’s before chemo!
thought I would write something whilst the pc is free! Kids are getting so bored they have started playing more games than ever! Thought I would tell you all how it’s going as I 'm not getting that much sympathy today.Well I STILL have a cold.I am sneezing for England and my nose is like a constant dripping tap! It hurts now too,I’m about 9 days post chemo session and I’m usually starting to feel better but it’s getting harder.I seem to be tiring so quickly.I’ve taken to being bald more-it’s been so warm , but I’m not that brave every time I go near a window I whip on my hat!
We decided to have a drive out today but I was so exhausted I cried when I got in the car.My hubby just started the car and my son handed me a clean tissue! I get really anxious about going out at times-especialy after chemo. It’s mostly because the longer I leave going out the harder it gets.We eventually had a lovely time. A farm in Canewdon has a field growing sunflowers and corn on the cob.You just go along and pick your own-the kids loved it walking in amongst the flowers.Then we went to look at the boats on the river Crouch.My daughter (7) was now fed up and embarressed us by shouting “I’m fed up looking at the blooming boats!” I wanted to dive in there and then.I am going to rename her , Veruca Salts from Charlie and the Chocolate factory!!
Lily I really hope you have a lovely time at Brands Hatch-Lewis Hamilton-nice! If your hubby likes cars I believe Little Havens are having a charity event soon.They have about 40 fast cars like Ferraris owned by enthusiasts.You just make a donation and they take you for a spin in their car.Not sure when it is perhaps contact the charity?
Tracey lovely to hear from you.Good luck on Monday.I know what you mean about uniform etc,just about finished mine.I was a bit worried as I bought some of my son’s things at the beginning of the hols and he has grown!
Rebecca - what are you like!!! lol!
well I’m off again to arrange some sunflowers luv Jen x
Hi,
Just lost my post too. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Moonshine I am so glad to hear you so upbeat and hope that means that you are getting over the effects of the surgery. Will be thinking of you on Monday and really hope that the results are good. I hate going for results, really churns me up going over it in my head. Thanks the tube was a false alarm and I now just live with a tube sticking up my neck. Well I guess I get more like a robot every day! Hope you got the kids’ things sorted out and I would love to be a banana with you at the meeting if it doesn’t fall on an ’ I can’t drive day’ or I will hit all your cars!! That is if I even see them! Big hug for Monday.
Jen, you are wonderful, keeping battling with your worries and overcoming them. Is it getting any easier? I think once you get rid of the chemo drugs all the emotions they brew up will settle and it will become much easier for you. How much longer until you finish? Just keep taking those little steps and I know it will all get easier. The trip sounded lovely and I did laugh at your daughter’s comment. I love little people who speak their mind. Another one to try is at Heybridge Basin as you can watch boats go through the lock and a cafe selling Tiptree cream teas if it gets cold. Well even if it doesn’t! Yum. Thanks for that about the cars I will look into it, a very good cause too.
I am going to try to sleep all the way there and back tomorrow as I am really tired. This time the steroids had me awake half the night and I can’;t catch up on that yet. Might show Lewis my balding head !!! No actually I don’t think that is a good idea, he might run!
Rebecca, hope you are ok and no doubt trying to get organised for school. You are amazing to start so soon and hope your plans work out as you want.
Lily x
Firstly, Tracey, hope it all went well today - was thinking about you. Let us know how you got on (and how Prof S was! - find him a man of few words…).
Lily and Jenn - great to read you are getting out and about and doing nice things - quite right. Things seem to be ‘on track’ now with not too many horror stories between us - long may it last!
Well, last TAC last Friday - thank God. Mind you, it is an anticlimax as you feel grotty and of course, the journey isn’t over. Don’t get me wrong - it was a happy moment taking the last steroids!
Felt terrible yesterday and very stressed about busy day today (my own fault, I know!). My two children back to school, my radiotherapy planning session at 9am and teaching one lesson at 11.15! Managed it all (have four classes tomorrow - ah) but am feeling shattered. When I saw the weather this morning I thought I would be doomed. I drove to Colchester and then onto Felsted - both routes I hadn’t done before, and I thought the A12 would be up the creek. Anyway, made it all in time, and now have my radiotherapy agenda which takes me a bit closer to the end. The Prof was there today, and in fine form, though he did mumble a bit and I couldn’t understand some of what he was saying. I asked whey I was having radiotherapy again (I know the answer, but just to check!), and he said to reduce the risk of return etc etc. I think he then misunderstood my question on percentages (actually I am not sure what I was asking to be honest!) and he said ‘well, it either works or it doesn’t’. Fantastic! But he is right.
Well all - lots of love to you, and hope you are all well.
Rebeccaxxx
Hi Everyone, hope you are all doing well. I like following your threads, I am inspired by the way you are all handling your chemo. I have to say I’m not looking forward to it, seems to affect everyone so differently doesn’t it? Anyway, saw the lovely Prof.S - everybody says that about him Rebecca - don’t know what it is, but I just adore the man!! he is so kind and reassuring to me. Just as well as I have a date with him for more surgery next week!! Unfortunately,my lump presented in a very unusual and awkward position (so like me!) Anyway, he is not happy with one of the margins, so have to have a bit more taken. At least he is being thorough. The good news is path results were node negative and no vascular invasion, so could of been a lot worse.
Rebecca, how you and Lily cope with all your treatment, family and teaching I don’t know. You are amazing!!
best wishes & thoughts to you all,
Tracey xxxxxxxx
just a quick hello really.Glad to hear everyone is doing so well and “moving on”.
Lily- thought I would tell you to pass on to your hubby.Top gear is having a live tour starting in London at the end of October-i’ve booked it for my brother’s birthday as he is a big fan.Not my cup of tea definately a boy thing!
Tracey - sorry you have to have more surgery - but great news about your results,does that mean no radiotherapy aswell?
Rebecca- or should I call you superwoman??? I just hope you are pacing yourself a bit.As for the prof-do you sometimes feel that he is so laid back he could fall over-lol? As for rads I haven’t got to have any but I don’t know why.I have an appointment with him on the 11th and I plan to ask.When you chat with him is it an arranged appointment too or is it just a casual thing?
speak soon - early night -long day getting kids ready and off to school etc! Jen x
Thank you for your concern, don’t worry about me I am made of stronger stuff that carries me beyond and above all that.
About a week ago I was having a real ‘down’ day you know how it is. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, and was thinking ‘I want my husband back, I want my life back ect.,’ Anyway there is a lady who I know she can’t help herself but persists to continuously send posts about suspected cancers she has. On this day she had sent a post, which following others of suspected bc - benign, supspected bowel cancer and then suspected melanoma and more, something snapped and I sent her a post saying I thought these forums were not the place for her to post her ‘suspected cancers all the time’ and to someone who had experienced for real a lot of what she was fretting about, I found it upsetting to keep reading these. Her reply back was quite simply ‘how nasty of you’. I am cross with myself for even bothering to reply, I should of just ignored it all, but it caught me a the wrong moment. Enough said, forgotton it already. I will be having my surgery next thursday. If it is convenient for you and Sharon (think she has just had node clearance) to meet that would be lovely.
Jen and Rebecca,
Hope you are well. Rebecca I think you are wonderful, either that or the keenest teacher ever for going back and hope you are very much appreciated. How is the hair situation going?
Jen, I know Rebecca is back at work (if you can sneak out Rebecca please come too) but some of us are trying to meet up next week over lunch, really casual somewhere. Is it something you would like to come to or would that be a bit too much on your own just yet? it would just be a few ladies, all from here, including Tracey.
Lily x
Lily it would be lovely to meet up but unfortunately next week is not good for me.I’m seeing the Prof for an update on my progress and to discuss the next stage and I am also having my LAST chemo session.I’ll be thinking of all of you tucking into something really yummy! Have something naughty and stodgy for me!!!
Hi Jen,
probably the first of many and also some people are going to Helen Rollason to the support group, which I think was 17 Sept but the day after my next dose, so might be dodgy for me.We will never find a good day for everyone plus it is not everyone’s cup of tea.
Will just let you know if and when we meet another time. The puddings are a must of course!
Lily x
A few minutes before Taggart (one of the few good programmes on tele!)…
Feeling tired, but really pleased to be back at work - really has given me the focus I need. A lot of people say coming to the end of chemo and radiotherapy (me towards the end of October) can bring on a sort of ‘black hole’ feeling - so I hope I don’t get that… It is all so nerve racking isn’t it.
The hair hasn’t started sprouting back yet… will keep you posted on that! Bless, my Yr 10 girls were saying ‘oh Miss, like your new hairdo’. I quickly had to change the subject!
Hope you are all feeling well and enjoying this dreadful weather!
Jenn, will be interesting to find out why you aren’t having radiotherapy. Usually chemo and radiotherapy go hand in hand don’t they? He said I am having it to reduce the risk of recurrence - to zap dormant cells which could be there, as the chemo only zaps the growing ones.
Unfortunately I don’t think I can make lunch due to timetable. Also, think I will pass on the Helen R support group - will be interesting to hear about it. A friend told me yonks ago that one of her friends went and it was full of ladies with secondaries. Not sure how true that is…
If you do get together, have a drink (or pudd, or both!) for me.
Hi everyone,
well it looks too tricky to get everyone free at the same time with our medical schedules, so will chat on line and see if another opportunity comes up at a later date. The meeting is the day after my treatment and as I am on a 28 day cycle it just hits the same day every time. I was not aware about that Rebecca, my friend seems to bump into a lot of much older ladies, one of whom made her feel she had to drive her all over the place!! She is such a sweety anyone could impose on her!! I have never been there apart from to support their fete to raise money.
Well done for getting right back into work, be careful not to overdo it. I think you said you are part-time, which must help. I will have to launch straight into full time hours as my pay dips next month and will be for some time.
I used the cold cap, so did not lose all of my hair, some straggly bits round the sides and an excuse for a fringe hanging on. However, the bald middle section is now over an inch long and very black with a few greys. What a relief as many people have posted that their hair came back white or grey but I am not sure whether they were that colour before too.I think it will be back into a cut before I go back, but very short pixie style. I have never been out in a wig so do not feel confident to go to work. Are you scared if it gets windy and you are carrying piles of books in your hands? I was told that if I had a masectomy I would not need rads, but that rads plus a lumpectomy offered me the same prognosis so had that. Well my surgeon really told me that was what he was doing! Will you go on to tablets for 5 years because they offer a lot of protection after chemo and rads? This might be where we all change treatment slightly I guess. Jen are you nearly up to the last one? Hope to hear you have had it done soon. I have 3 double doses left so 6 more chemos!! I hat that because most people only have 6 altogether. Talked to the Prof this week, who again was distracted by my taking a daughter with me (I have 3), he had a ferret around and said my port has to come out after chemo and before rads, so yuk another op this year. He is putting me on piriton as concerned about my reactions to both of the first new treatments. Fab more drugs. Last time they had run out of iv steroids and I was fed up that I had to take tablets and wait an extra half an hour.
Did that happen to any of you?
Hope you are ok
Lily x
Well with the return of school/college back to quietness all of a sudden and find myself talking to the dog a lot!
Hope the uniforms still fitted Jen! I thought I was well organised for their return until my daughter came home first day and told me I had put one of her trainers and one of her older sisters in PE bag!! had guilty visions of a hobbling 10yr old trying to play rounders!! Pleased to hear you are well enough to be back at work Rebecca, you must be tired by the end of the day though. As for wigs, I have been giving them some thought with my impending chemo. Don’t know why, but I can’t imagine me in one. Have visions of it being an itchy irritating thing, maybe I’m wrong. I might go for the scarves but I seem to have a small head? will probably look like a wrapped ping pong ball. Lily, like you I was told the lumptectomy together with rads has the same prognosis as mx. Hopefully, thursday will see the remaining little margin gouged out and I will be ready for the jolly old chemo then. Most of you seem to be nearing the end of your chemo, so there is hope for me that I can do it!! They have said it is best for me to have chemo as I’m still young in terms of bc. I suppose at 47 it is probably about the only thing I am too young for!! I will be having the hormone thingy for 5 yrs too. I still feel like I’m on a learning curve here, was totally ignorant to how complex it all is and seem to come across something I didn’t know each day!!
Hi,
found the thread tucked in page 2, sorry I have not posted before. What are you all up to? Tracey it is really quiet at home when they go back, isn’t it? My son keeps making me pick him up in free periods as he is allowed to come home. I feel like his chauffeur some days! I really enjoyed the wig day, they send you to a place in Southend. If you take a nice friend you will probably giggle all the way through it. The Southend shop are excellent. I bought 2 and have not used them! If your head is small you can buy a littls soft sort of sleep cap to go under it, to make your head biigger/rounder. My friend has one, will ask where it was from, I believe off the internet. I do feel for you, having to go back for a second lumpectomy and hope it goes really well for you. I did not realise at the time that I was fortunate to have it all out first go. There is a bit of a wait for chemo but they have to get you in quick if you are on a trial. Not sure if that appeals to you but you get your own research nurse and mine has just been invaluable and so kind. I can ring her any time about anything. I asked them to refer me for rads straight away before chemo started as there has been a very long delay at Colchester but this might have cleared now. keep us posted how you get on.
Rebecca how are you coping with work? Has it been hard to pick up speed? I am thinking about it but still very tired. Jen how is your arm now? You must have either had or be close to the last one? Wanted to wish you well for that and hope the final one is not too heavy on the side effects.
Lily x
Apologies if I don’t make much sense, but am feeling like s–t (excuse the language!).
Tracey, great news about path report, but ‘at least’ just another lumpectomy. When I had my lumpectomy, Sauven didn’t warn me there could be more in there, and then wham bam, in his rather cold manner (I can see why you like him though!) he sprung it on me I would need a mastectomy and chemo. Hurrah! Yes, it is funny being told we are young!
Jenn and Lily, hope you are both well - Jenn when is your last one? Lily did you get your rads dates yet?
Well, here I am just over a week back at school. It is great, but I am exhausted and to top it have caught some horrible chest infection. I sailed through chemo with not even a sniffle (very lucky I know), and I am back at work and hey presto. Day off today and I am going to sleep now before the school run. I am not going to go in tomorrow which I am annoyed at. I hope they don’t start thinking ‘here we go, she’ll be off a lot’…
Right, off to my pit now, and hope this email finds you all in better health than me!
Love
Rebeccaxxxx