Starting tomorrow

So I have my first date with chemo tomorrow.
I feel sick already! As I read more about this dreadful disease, find out things I never wanted to know about, I am becoming more and more afraid.
A month ago I’d never given a thought to secondary cancer, now I’m wondering just how many people go on to develop secondaries. There seems to be a lot of posters here with them…
And so Im finding it difficult to see tomorrow as, the beginning of my recovery or whatever positive spin people tend to put on it…
The awful realisation that, after surgery/chemo/more surgery/rads, what awaits is the eternal fear of the secondary…

Tree,

can understand your fear and can only say you have to take 1 day at a time. Once your chemo starts you will hopefully start feeling you are doing something to get rid of the nasty little b*ggers. It is a long road and not always great but you will get through it.

I was dx last Nov have had 4 ops, chemo and rads and started the journey terrified. I won’t pretend it has always been easy but I have had many great days and made some great friends.

I read far too much at the start but now am very selective about what I read as it easy to have every symptom of everything just because we are worried

Have a peep at a thread called chemo - good days, or something like that. It has some feel good stories on it and made me smile.

Importantly don’t think you have to be superwoman and carry on as normal. Ask for help and admit when you are finding it hard.

There is so much support on this site and many uplifting stories.

If you want a rant or any advice you are welcome to pm me.

Thinking of you and sending massive hugs.

K x

Hiya Tree

I completely understand where you are coming from, as I suspect most of the ladies on here do. I finished by chemo in March and, tho not pleasant, it is doable. Also, everyones experience differs; some people have very few problems with it whilst others have every side effect under the sun! Personally, I was never sick and found FEC very easy to deal with; I still managed to go to work. Tax was a different story tho! There’s some great posts on here with advice on how to manage side effects, but its probably best to deal with the probs as they arise.

I agree that the thoughts of secondaries are terrifying. Its a sword of damocles over our heads. I too am very selective about what I read. If i get secondaries, I will deal with it then and I try not to worry about what may or may not happen in the future.

Please feel free to pm me if you wish.

Take care

Julia xx

Hi Tree,
I had my first chemo of FEC on Monday. I feel like I’m starting to feel a bit more normal today. No sickness for me just tired and a bit achey.
I totally understand what you mean about secondaries. Now I’ve started chemo and have to deal with the SEs of that I’ve stopped thinking about it coming back or spreading.
Realising there is no ‘all clear’ can be very difficult, but who’s to say we won’t be the ones that only have to fight this disease once? And the Docs are giving us the chemo for this exact reason. It’s going to be tough but I’m sure we can do it.
Rosie xxx

I was diagnosed in April and it was not until 2 weeks ago that I realised I may not be cured by all this.I cant believe I was worrying about my boob and my hair and everything other. I find it helps to have a good cry. Then normal life continues.
I would recommend asking your oncologist for a percentage chance of getting secondaries for someone in your position. It doesnt change anything but you will have all the facts and is very likely to be encouraging.

Hi Tree
The best bit of advice I was given was to drink lots of water the day before, day of and day after chemo, I’m convinced that this made my experience of chemo relatively easy in comparison to most.
May I wish you the very best of luck for tomorrow Tree. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Big hugs
Stella

Hi
Good luck tomorrow- the nurses will look after you. I agree with Stella drink as much as you can to flush it through your system. It also helps to make your veins plumper. I put a hot wheat bag on my arm too before going in as my veins are rubbish. Remember which vein they get and if it works well tell them about it next time to try to avoid trial and error. take care debx

I took a photo of the cannula on my phone fo they could see it next time. Take it easy after wards. Drink as much as u can. Eat anything you fancy. I have just had my lady of six today and time has gone v quick. You can do it!!!

Very best of luck tomorrow Tree! Join us on the July/August chemotherapy thread.

I was so scared before my first cycle but it went much better than I expected. Second cycle was today so you’re only one behind me.

Don’t know what drugs you’re having but worth taking some chewing gum or mints to mask unpleasant taste some can leave in your mouth.

Hope to hear how you got on. xxx Jane

Hi Tree. I’m having my first tomorrow too and am feeling quite apprehensive but positive too. Don’t know about you but I am Triple Negative and from the little bit I have read this chemo is the best chance I have of getting rid of my cancer. I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow and hope it goes better than you anticipate. Will be interested to compare notes at the end of the day! Have just drunk a load of water following advice above - will probably be up all night weeing! Hope you sleep well. Cazza x

hello Tree
Best of luck for today.
I had FEC and TAX and had very few side effects with either, managed to work and go on holidays throughout, as did a very good friend of mine diagnosed 3 months earlier than me.
Try not to worry about the number of posters with problems and secondaries, that’s partly because those who are having difficulties tend to join and stay on the forum for support. It’s only a very few saddos like me who are absolutely fine 6 years on that post from time to time! Most other are getting on with their lives and have said goodbye to the forum, so you don’t hear their stories.
Sarah

Thank you so much everyone. I have read your replies several times, and they are a real tonic. x

I’m so stupid I just got everything ready to go, was right at the front door when (only then)I looked at my appointment card and saw it was at 1pm, not at 10am as I had firmly believed. I was so convinced, I even rang the ward to check…
So now I’m just waiting again…

Tree,

I hope it went ok for you today. I remember being so frightened before my first chemo and, although the reality of it wasn’t easy I coped with it reasonably well. Don’t know which combo you’re having - I had 3 x fec and 3 x tax. Found the fec made me quite nauseous but the tablets for the side effects really helped a lot. If you still have se’s tell your onc and they can try other meds. As the ladies have said, drink plenty and take it easy. I finished chemo 16 months ago and I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown. Take care,

x

Well it was ok. The nurses are completely awesome. I am continually so impressed by the people I am meeting in the health service. Such amazing ability to connect with you, and make you feel at ease.
The Dr did provide some tranquilizers for me for next time, because I was quite anxious before it started. Not sure I’ll need them though…
I too am on 3x FEC and 3xTax

Last night however, I vomited over 20 times and had to go to hospital this morning for intravenious anti-sickness meds and hydration/saline drip thing. Was allowed home when I could keep something down, and have spent quite a cheerful afternoon, so pleased to better.
Guess there will something else around the corner soon enough though…

Hi Tree,
how are you doing? sounds like you had an awful time vomiting so many times and having to go back in. I had my first FEC on Friday and have been feeling nauseous and with a kind of heartburn all day. have been feeling so sorry for myself and seriosuly wondering if I am strong enough to deal with this … and then I read yours and I think I have been lucky! Had a little cry earlier which helped. Just cant think of all the weeks ahead of this.All you women who have finished their chemo are my absolute heroines … and when I think of those of you with young children … well my admiration goes off the scale. Our youngest is 14 and is staying with her friend for a week which I am glad about. Hopefully by the time she comes back I will have mastered this. Amgoing to try to sleep now. Hope you all sleep well. Cx

Cazza, I joined the other chemo thread
‘Anyone starting chemotherapy July/August’?
but I really want to know how you are getting on, seeing as we started on exactly the same day…
I’m not right today, kept waking up in pools of sweat last night, been feeling (but not being) sick, really emotional and tired.
How are you doing?