Still unsure what is going on

Still unsure what is going on I am in awe of all the women who have and are doing these forums. All who I have read seem knowledgeble and know what is what. I am still unsure of procedures and treatments as there seems to be so many. I was diagnosed in Nov 05 and although I was given opportunities to ask questions I did not know what to ask and so instead just went along with my treatment. I just want to say thank-you to everyone out there that post their queries so that people like me can learn what it means to have this god awful illness that seems to put your life on hold. I will endeavour to learn and where possible aid others to understand what is going on. If anyone out there has a similar prognosis to me it would be great to hear from you and share notes. I am new at this forum writing and it feels a bit scary.

HELLO joejoe Just wanted to welcome you to the site…i felt just like you when i first posted on here…please carry on writing…i’m sure you will have some advice you can offer someone…or just lend an ear to…like you i didn’t ask that many questions when dx in jan 04…was too frightened…still petrified now

karen x

I was too scared to quiz the surgeon or the oncologist. As I grew braver and more knowledgeable I started to ask questions. I didn’t like any of the answers but I think that is the only way I could deal with it at the time.I would have walked into the reservoir if I had the full facts at dx. I had to have time to get my head round it. I NEVER EVER thought I would get breast cancer. I ticked all the right boxes and always felt for lumps. I have to admit I think about it all the time. Sometimes I start laughing and then remember and think to myself. What are you laughing for? I hope to try to deal with these feelings and now I have finished chemo hope that as I get phytsically stronger I can work on getting mentally stronger.I do hesitate to give advice as there are so many people on here much more knowledgeable than me as you will find out. Take care love Eileen

Thanks Thank-you Karen it al feels a bit surreal . I have been around for awhie but thought I would come in from the cold so to speak. Again it was nice of you to say hello.
joe joe x

Hi Joejoe and a big welcome. I too was like you - daren’t ask too many questions and have just gone along with the treatment - figured they knew more than me. Still the same - daren’t ask for too much information, but, also like you, am amazed at how much others know!

Hope all goes well for you.

Love and hugs, Jean xx

thank-you Thank-you Eileen It was nice of you to share your experience. It really helps to know you can draw on others experience and knowledge. I know I won’t feel so alone now!
Janice x

Thanks Thanks Jean you put it in a nutshell…I thought the same …they are the doctors and I definately do not know about cancer, it’s not my job it’s theirs! But maybe I will learn to ask more questions if I know what to ask -in the first place. I know…knowledge shared from here will help. Nice to meet you.

Janice x

Still unsure what is going on Hi JoJo

I am glad you have plucked up the courage to post on here.

Welcome. Hugs.

Who knows one day it may be us turning to you for answers.

Thinking of you.


Ask questions. Hi,
Like many of you I have not questioned too much what is going on assuming they are professionals and they know what they are doing.
However, recently I was told on the morning of my operation that they were not going to make the reconstructed breast a bit bigger only make the other one smaller. I was shocked but accepted this. A neighbouring patient overheard some of the conversation and started to make me query what was happening.

By 5.00pm I was feeling a little uncertain and was told op cancelled anyway. This has now resulted in me having to go and see my consultant but he wants a psychologist there too. The thought has made me feel a bit vulnerable, but also I have had time to research ideas to ask questions about. Not sure he will like this but hey I must give it a try.

Love to all
Treakle xxxxxx

Still Unsure Waht is Going On Hi Treakle

The reason a psychologist is there is to confirm that you have made your decision and that you give informed consent to the operation.

I had to be psychoanalysed twice before my mastectomy despite the fact I had requested the operation 12 months prior to my other tumour being found.

I would ask as many questions as you can and make it clear what you want to happen and the outcome that you want.

The more informed you are the better the outcome will be. Don’t be scared to ask to have a breast care nurse to be there and to ask anything you don’t understand.



Hello Jojo - just to reassure you that there is life after BC and a good quality of life. Keep having your checkups and make a list of questions beforehand as it is so easy to forget something and then kick yourself. I was first diagnosed in 1990 and am still here enjoying life.

Thanks to all who have replied, I do not feel so stupid now that I did not ask questions!
This site is really helping me and I do not feel as alone now!
I had yet another CT scan on Monday and as I got home later in the day the phone was ringing and it was my consultant asking me to go next weds to chat about it. Again I wished I had asked him if something was wrong cos now I am worried that there is? I could have kicked myself but feel in my heart that he has found some sort of infection on the lungs and nothing else!!! So fingers crossed.

Lots of love to you all


Hi joejoe Hi joejoe,

just read your first post and have since read your update. I really hope all goes well for you next weds. Will you be able to take someone with you for moral support and a second pair of ears? I have taken my boyfriend to all my appts so far as when I come out I seem to forget everything I’ve just been told! He always listens attentively at the appts and then sets me straight!

Sometimes I write down questions and take them in with me. When I went for my pre-masectomy appt with my surgeon I had a list as long as my arm!! He answered most of them and then my bc nurse answered the rest. My boyfriend was firing questions at them left, right and centre, bless him!

You could even ring the helpline and ask if they have any suggestions on things you may wish to ask on weds. I have found them to be very helpful when I have called in the past.

I really do hope all goes well next week.

Take care and be sure to let us know how you get on,