Help! Missed a few days and it’s taken me ages to catch up!
SO agree with you about humour… both concern that we might be a bit light hearted for those on the Despair Bench, but also, most deff-in-ight-ly about NEEDING humour when things are tough. This thread and The Woods were as important as the practical info when I was going through the mill last year. To tap into someone else’s humour/madness and rediscover your own, when you thought it was asleep, is/was a great gift. Laughter is the best medicine, as the Good Book says… and it is…
Snow here this morning… and being dahn sahth, the whole place degenerates into chaos at the sight of a bit of white… I have a funeral in a town a little distance off - and the village is in a dip - have to get up a steep hill to get out - and they’re chaos…
bells on…
off we go…
“Dashing through the snow
camel here we go…”
Thankyou Revcat for the tip on how to get back here now done so shouldn’t be losing this thread again 
As e newbie to this thread I’d just like to say please done change am still hovering between benches at the moment not sure which is best suited for me but 1 thing I do know is that the humour I fiound amonst you ladies on this thread gives me hope and makes me feel much less alone like many on here it’s the only place I can really talk openly and honestly about the way I am feeling.
All you ladies are warm and welcoming even if I still am not sure what your talking about with spoons lol but happy to be here.
Angi xx
Afternoon ladies…just…how is everyone…have been in bed in the real world with a virus caught from ministering to beloved grandchild…not so much bed as laying on the sofa doing an impression of the dying swan…better now though…Has anybody any suggestions how to improve immune system after chemo??..I’ve missed a few days and what a lot of posts…now…I have a little gripe…I must be one of the few people on the planet that like Craig… I love his"it’s a disaaaster daahhling" comments…I think he is hysterical…please please can he have a cameo appearance??..Katie…Jane…I agree this thread and the Woods are vital to me as well…some days I am ok and then others I am not…I see you have given up with the Relon…I don’t know what it has in it apart from tam but it made me hypersensitive to everything emotionally…I couldn’t sleep properly or anything…back on Wochhardt now…still flushing but much better…Angik…you’re not alone…we’re all in this together whatever stage of treatment we’re at…now…I can see the panto is coming along…all these bells will sound lovely on the night…looking forward to the performance…especially Bruno…wonder if he will do his hip swivelling thing…
Hello all! Lovely yoga lesson today, our teacher brought in a quote from the Dalai Lama, who was asked what surprised him most. I’m sorry I can’t quote it exactly, what stuck with me was this bit “he never lives truly in the present, and he lives as if he will never die, and dies as if he’s never lived”. So, no apologies for sharing a little happiness, a smile, some laughter with someone, it deserves it’s place in life.
Gorgeous sunshine streaming in through my window, but crikey its cold out there! Good job camels have nice thick fur covering them, and in this camel’s case, a bloomin big cardi
Sorry I missed last week’s rehearsal, been busy ferrying Mrs Clunk about for scans and now we are waiting for an operation date. Mrs C is currently sporting a better bump than Kate Windsor as she has a melon size cyst. the sight of us two in Early Pregnancy waiting rooms with young pregnant couples must make them think we’ve been busy for a couple of old 'uns.
I should be ok for a rehearsal tonight but may still have some manure on the sandals; I know I should call it fertiliser but it’s taken me 40 years to learn to call it manure! I notice the more professional thespians are now sporting bells. Well I can’t find me old morris dancing clobber as its been put away in the barn for the winter, probably under the sacks somewhwere behind the mangles clamp, so I’ll just have to whistle instead and hope it doesn’t upset the shepdogs.
Can we sing that old Sheperd’s chorus “Come By Ooarrh” as we enter stage left? Or maybe we could sing “I’ve only got eyes for Ewes” when we’re invited to gaze on the baby in the manger?
A word of warning though, any adverse comments from Bruno on my extensions and he’ll be on the receiving end of a crook up the gusset; whereas, that Darcy’s Bustle, she can help crack my walnuts any night.
Abissinya later me luvvers,
2nd Shepherd
Spoons give you energy, angik. You could try ‘googling’ (other search engines ARE available) “spoon theory” then you will understand.
I’ve had the nightmare class all day today. 24 completely ‘wampy’ 6-7 year olds including triplet boys and several ‘characters’. Really aware that my Zoladex is running down. Feel very PMT emotionally. Struggling to keep my temper all day. So tired too.
Came home and OH had left the following propped up in kitchen: You are entering a rest area. Make a drink and put your feet up. I will get tea. Sausage egg and chips. No ARGUING. I’ll be back around 5pm. At first I was annoyed: his cooking isn’t that great, so I don’t usually LET him cook for me, and I’d planned to make a stew. Then I got a grip and realised I shouldn’t be so snotty when he’s being so nice. (Probably cos I was on a rant about doctors/Tamoxifen brands/being so ****ing tired at dinner last night!) So I’m trying not to think about hearty stew - can have it tomorrow anyway - and I do love S, E & C - especially on the CBA bench!
The rest will prepare me for rehearsals tonight. (OH doesn’t know he’s got to come to that too!
Katytc, It sounds like I need the FB bench strapped to my back, not a tiny chair?
Don’t forget the camels’costumes are made out of nice thick glittery carpet, so you should be lovely and warm!
♫ to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star:♫
Bleating bleating little sheep
I don’t like the hours you keep
Baaing half the flippin night
Giving camels such a fright
So go to bed and get some sleep
Don’t be such a pesky sheep.
I’ll be seeing EWE later
Ah… spooons… Angi, check out But You Dont Look Sick? support for those with invisible illness or chronic illness The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino - But You Dont Look Sick? support for those with invisible illness or chronic illness
many of us found it hugely helpful in our recovery… we run out of “spoons” very quickly during and after chemo… and for a surprisingly long time, so we replenish our supplies here (provided faithfully by RevCat!)
The funeral I was taking was at 9.30… Because of the (inch) of snow, I got there at 9.55… and the hearse got there at about eleven! Bit cold in that there cemetery! all thawed now though… well, mostly…
curry tonight in the JM (that’s in The Dark Dark Woods)(another place of insanity/fun)
love Jane
JCJ that’s another maaaaaa-vellous carol ewe have created, Dame Grumpy will be well impressed and Gareth will be highly diluted. Been reheasring the flushing soldiers chorus all afternoon… nearly synchronised now but a few not quite managing the forty fleeces… oh dear. Maybe the cool air is reducing their capacity to flush?
Instead of a shepherd’s crook I’m going to have a tinselled thwacking ladle, is that OK? And lots ‘n’ lots of glitter to boot.
I feel humbled by the creativity of all the carols. I really have been wracking my brains to come up with something but no… nothing… obviously I’m not a songwriter.
JCJ - make the most of your OH I wish I had someone to cook my tea. Although I like living on my own there are times…
Snow? snow? Not in my neck of the woods, thank goodness. Sorry for those of you for whom it makes life difficult but please keep it away from me!
Applestreet - I like Craig too, He’s the only one that says it as it is and his approval means a lot more than the others.
I’ve brought the promised chocolate cake although I’m afraid it’s got a little bit squashed in transit…what do you mean a LOT squashed?..Oh,ok a LOT squashed …but it tastes good.
Right, let rehearsal commence, if you can’t recognise me tonight I’m the one covered in green glitter. Today at school a large amount was spilt and as they had glue out at the same time, an awful lot seems to have adhered to me!
PS. This thread and the DDWoods have also kept me sane over the last few months and I thank everyone for them. We need our sense of humour to get through this. To find likeminded people has been a godsend for me.
Rushing about. Where’s my chair? Where IS my chair? Where’s my f***ing CHAIR?? Oh it’s on my back 
Now where’s my fleece? WHERE’s my fleece? where’s my ****ing fleece? Ah! I’m wearing that too. (anyone spotting a theme here? I told you I was fragile!) No wonder I’m hot-cold-hot-cold.
Come on Mummy - need to get you to Benchland in time for rehearsal. Hold on tight, there’s an extra layer of ice on the escalator tonight oooh cue for a song (or queue for a song when Gareth turns up??)
Icy tonight, hold on tight
All those camels, glittering bright
Rounded Mummy sat on donkey
Three wise wimin with skates all wonky
Sheep in layers of fleece
Sheep in layers of fleece
Icy tonight, hold on tight
Shepherds quake due to fright
Spider hoves in from shed afar
Bloody Nora! It’s gone down my bra
Christ! It’s cold in Benchland
Christ! It’s cold in Benchland
Icy tonight, hold on tight
Soldiers dance in the night
Fleeces strewn all over the place
And some hot and reddening face
Having such fun and mirth
Having such fun and mirth
OMG OMG!!! I’M LATE, I’M LATE, FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!!!
Sorry I am late - I can see Boris the spider turned up on time - I got stuck in NED wrapping Christmas presents.
Make up done! Sorry it looks a bit heavy on some of you but I did say it would be more like face painting. Used up all of my green paint trying to tone down the flushed look!
Bars open over in the JM bar and a temporary bar over there ----------> for those to bushed to make the walk down the pebbled path to the woods.
No drinking until after the rehearsal dahlings or the DG will be more than grumpy! No, not even you Woodies - you’ll have to resist until later!
JCJ - you’ve done it again, such a wonderful carol, you have really missed your calling. Have you considered the X-Factor auditions?
Gareth won’t be there tonight. I kidnapped him before the the last rehearsal and have him stashed in my understairs cupboard. The apologies that Grumpy thought came from him were really from me. He’s happy…but I may have to let him go soon as I don’t quite know what to do with him…what is a sex slave?..I just thought I’d better grab him him before Nannabarb did.
Talking of Nannabarb she seems to be MIA, I hope she is all right.
Grumpy - please stop shouting at me I’m doing my best.
It’s a good job it’s your understairs cupboard (or garage as we call it in this house!) FF, and not Ali’s. She has an ancient humungous bottle of Baileys in her UC. Gareth would be Pissed as a fart slightly inebriated if he were there!
At the risk of offending people who decide to search on google after this…my mother used to call our understairs cupboard a “glory hole” PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE THIS PHRASE!!!
GRUMPY DOES NOT SHOUT… well, only a little bit!
Rehearsal has been splendid, well done all.
Costumes are great, even if bells and glitter were not de rigeur in Palestine in nought AD. Most impressed with camel costumes, methinks they could very handy for camping in cold weather.
Ali and Foxy, could I just say you got your parts the wrong way round, Ali is the camel and Foxy the wise womin. It didn’t look good having 2 members of the cast beating each other up, now did it. Anyhow you’re not on until Act II.
Millie wants to wear her new BRIGHT PURPLE coat in the panto, but I’ve vetoed in on the grounds that Gortex hadn’t been invented then - I know, I know, gortex for a dog is extravagant.
Gareth says, while no-one is perfect (who wants perfection???) just yet, he is SURE everyone will be alright on the night. His fingers were crossed behind his back - should we read anything into that?
Bruno is still prone on the floor and sobbing. I’ve told him to brace up, this is the biggest challenge of his career, and he’d better get on with it.
The Animals all behaved beautifully once they’d had a Bit of Pointless Running About to let off steam beforehand. If they are REALLY REALLY good, they can have a bonfire at the last night party but no chucking the spider into the flames IT’S ONLY PRETEND.
Is the Donkey OK after Mummy nearly fell off? Get your centre of gravity in the right place Mummy.
BIG thanks for set construction, power generating for lights and escalator, costumes and make-up, and NO alligators got out WHEW!!!
Right then Act II on Friday - we need shepherds and lambs, camels and wise wimmin, star, angels, manger and straw, 3 boxes for presents as well as all the animals and chorus for background music.
My Assistants and I are retiring to the trailer for a little rest and a snifter of two.
Onwards and upwards.
grumpy
and I didn’t SHOUT at anyone - yet…
Someone earlier mentioned “glory hole” and caused some of us, including me, to google. This is why I called it my understairs cupboard. Glory hole is no longer to be used (why do I have to learn a new language at 58 years of age?).
Gareth is sober but a bit restless tonight, I may have to think about setting him free. It would be in the interest of the Panto and the choir so… ok I’ve let him go, with directions to the rehearsal.
Buggerit asked “When do you need the goat?”
Ali - I’m so sorry, I just don’t know what I’m doing. I DO know you’re the camel and I’m the wise woman but somehow it all went wrong. Thank goodness thare are more rehearsals before the performance - we will get it right.
Grumpy - you did SHOUT but it was deserved and I will try harder. Roll on Friday.