Commiserations Hughie and Ralph - sorry Tup and MMM! - I hope you feel better soon and that the next cycle is kinder - get those anti-puke meds!
I’m on the guilty bench because I said “No thanks” to chemo. I was 51 at dx, the age Mum died of a sudden heart attack, and my middle sister died of lung cancer at 49, so I’m relieved to be rapidly approaching 53, and (reasonably) healthy.
♫ Happy birthday to YOooooou! Ali♫ Many many healthy happy returns. I’ve made you a chocolate ca(ra)mel cake with marzipan toppping. Sooo pleased your bumpy bit is nothing scary. That’s great news for your birthday. I bet you are relieved?!
The 100 yard (metres? foot?) dither is further complicated by all those marbles lying around everywhere. Oooooh look! Pretty shiny glass things! Oooooops! Splat!
PS: sorry forgot to add: delighted you’re happy with the new boob, Rev, and that the path results are good. Another milestone passed! 
Another sport for our Bencholympics: Bungy Ball - like basket ball but the team members are suspended from bungy cords and the pitch is made of boingy stuff.
I’m so relieved…I have a working toilet again!! (Pun intended!)
My chappie got to me at lunchtime had no luck and told me that the problem was south west water’s as blockage was so many metres away from the house. Called them, they came out and sorted it. The blockage was in the next street!!! Only small problem was that I had to wait in for them. So have had this afternoon off work but will have to go to school tomorrow instead. Head teacher was fine about it thank goodness.
JCJ - yes to the doubles numpty throwing, we’ll be able to throw them so much further. Anybody got anyone we can practise on? I’ll pass on the Bungy Ball, my feet do not like leaving the ground.
My sympathies to those who are feeling se’s - Tuppence and Mandy - I can only imagine what you are going through as I was lucky enought to not need chemo.
Ali and Katy - your dithering is absolutely amazing, also Ali, hope you have a wonderful birthday with lots of lovely pressies and food and treats etc…
Glad you’re so pleased Revcat, even if you are multicoloured!
Grumpy - I’m glad you’re not bothered but what a nuisance
FF you will be RELIEVED, whew!!
You can practise on me!! will get on my skateboard and whizzzzzzzz around, no headshots though, failing that you can aim for the alligators!!
Grumpy and Revcat, you two will be sooooooo gorgeous for our Aug meet up, you will indeed be perky and perkier!
Had fish supper for tea tonight, first one in ages was really yummy, just getting into shape for the belly lifts xx
No, we can’t practise on you Katy, you are NOT a numpty. We can only throw numpties.
I am now up to 50 yards after today’s practise. There are some very surprised people in my town, finding themselves further along the road than they thought they were. They are putting it down to lapses in concentration. Little do they know that they are numpties and I am throwing them.
It’s all very X-files.
Tee hee FF 
!!
What about your cooker, has that been fixed?? xx
You are just practising dithering 
xx
Psychic again xx
No - still haven’t found a gas fitter. I’ve got an electric oven and a microwave oven so I’m managing just fine. I’ll really get around to the problem of a gas fitter next week.
I have been a little lackadaisical about this I admit, must try harder next week!
What’s happening???xx
Hi All,
I only discovered Benchland a few days ago after meeting Rev Cat, what agreat thread, guaranteed to make me laugh.
So pleased you’re delighted with your multi coloured boob, Rev Cat. Mine isn’t as colourful as yours, think I’ll complain. Definitely an improvement. The dent hasn’t completely gone but I am assured by our PS that the stem cells will soon start to do their work over the next few weeks. She also filled the side of the offending boob and it looks to be a better shape. No luck though when I tried to wriggle out of 6 weeks in my long johns but I have discovered some that come down to just over the knee and think they might be more comforable so have sent for some.
Bumped into Sharon, she said everything seemed to be fine but she left before I did so don’t know how she got on. Also the young lady who was in the bed opposite you. She hasn’t been too well, the wound under her arm isn’t healing as it should but she was still pretty upbeat.
Hope you enjoyed your shower. I am off to have one now and to smother myself in E45 lotion, after which I’ll have glass of Ribena in a wine glass - well you can pretend-can’t you!!
Tina
x
Perhaps we could paractise on your numpty cooker, FF … or even PRACTISE. Oh pants! that won’t work I’ve just read back and realised it’s only a gas hob not the whole cooker. Where’s the fun in whanging that? Love the image of people in your street looking confused! Did you have to pay the plumber to find out it wasn’t even your problem? Were there no other people in your neighbourhood having problems (plumbing I mean - not finding themselves elsewhere!)
Welcome to Benchland Tiny Tina !!
What are you throwing JCJ & FF???
Another beautiful day here, literally not a cloud in the sky but it’s soooooooo cold…
Belly lifting still going well, haven’t quite mastered one handed lift, much easier with two hands, and flushes are on superb form, was wakened 3 times last night gave up around 5.30 am and just got up 
.
Why do they come back with such avengence??
Still searching for my marbles, seem to be losing more and more each day? xx
Hi Tiny Tina, thanks for dropping by with the update. Glad all is well for you… hope you get some shorter less challenging support wear soon! Good news that Sharon was doing well. K the young girl, has a gorgeous little boy, so I epxect she has been lifting him, which won’t help her underarm to heal… Lovely girl, but seemed to be having a rough time physically. Rainbow boob seems to have leaked a teeny bit overnight, so have put extra tape on the joins! That teddy bear smile will be perfect yet!!
Katy I think it’s something in the Scottish climate as my flushes are utterly unbelievable again, especially evenings and night. Once my wounds are healed, I think I may have to try the accupuncture route suggested by my GP (not risking any random needles until then!).
MMM and Tuppence, hope you are resting in a darkenesed room with nubian slaves (others races and statuses are available, and I don’t actually approve of slavery but…) feeding you peeled grapes, or your delicacy of choice, whlst the punka wala (sp? other races etc etc…) fans cooling air your way. It will soon pass, and the first time is defintely the worst, as it’s all unknown.
Can I add the courier company who have been supposedly delivering a desk to my home for FOURWEEKS to the numpty wanging (it sounds a bit like welly wanging after all)… they assure me it will arrive this coming Tuesday… so I will be superglued to my settee so they cannot say I was out!
Off to check the alligator traps, lob some survivor guilt into the lake and maybe iron a few lace hankies.
The south west water person said that 10/12 houses would have been affected. He was surprised that I was the only one who called.
Didn’t have to pay the plumber. He was only here about 15 mins and said he didn’t feel right about charging for failing to fix it. Nice plumber…I’ll keep his card handy!
I’m off to school now, making up for yesterday. Rather grey and miserable here but at least not raining. Yet.
What a lovely plumber - definitely won’t be wanging HIM. I don’t suppose you thought to ask him to recommend a gas-fitter? These trades people often know each other through house builds/renovations etc.
Or try this (if you haven’t already!) http://www.gassaferegister.co.uk/ Just put in your post code and it should list everyone local who’s registered with CORGI.
We have a mixture of both Devon and Scottish weather, (as befits being in the middle?!): - grey sky and sunshine! But at least it IS sunny.
ES’s GF just texted to ask if I’d like to go swimming with her and 5 year old. Inside I’m screaming “NOOOOOOO It’s my day off from noisy children!” but I’ve agreed to go as I’ve not seen them since Christmas. Humph! There goes my quiet Saturday morning in my PJs. Better go and get dressed. They’ll be here in half an hour!
Birthday cake ready for Ali H…
Don’t forget to make a wish before you blow out the candles!!!
Thank you all for your advice and good wishes. I have some nice ginger and lemon cordial which is helping when I dilute it really well with fizzy water.
JCJ never feel guilty you brave lady get it fed to those aligators.
Glad you like your boobs Rev. Welcome Tina - I’m sure yours are lovely too even if they’re not as colourful!
Delighted to hear your spotty thing is ok. I was a bit worried that you might have caught a hump from the camels. Hope your birthday was fab.
I am going to wang my numpty postman when I get my hands on him. I bought a lovely little pink Kipling bag off eBay and was told it had been sent special delivery (at a cost of course) so I could use it today (mum and dad’s DIAMOND wedding anniversary). Been up since 7:00 after a very restless night, thanks to St. Eroid, so was around. Despite this he left a card instead of ringing the doorbell. Why??? Can’t pick it up for 48 hours!
Am on the FFS bench!
Have a good day ladies. MMM x
I have closed my eyes and wished and blown out the candles! Actually a friend once said ’ be careful what you wish for…’ so it was more of a Thankyou for happiness, in the hope of having more! Lovely looking cake, I bet it’s got jam AND buttercream…
Hope all the new boobs are settling down and perking up nicely, less bruising, less soreness (how can mine be sore? It’s full of implant!) and no more stitches working their way through to the outside. Hope too that all the sickness is starting to pass, it should soon if it hasn’t already.
The sky has been a beautiful blue today, a real promise of spring at last…and the nights are drawing out!!! Phew…another winter on the way out, we’ll be in our sandals and sundresses before you know it. No idea if the sundresses will fit of course, but that’s another story! How’s the dieting/thinning down going RevCat? I know you said a while ago it was going ok (or certainly someone did, oh dear…marbles, all gone, all gone away)
My head Teacher has been offically classified as a numpty. Ready - JCJ one…two…three…not bad.
I got to school this morning unlocked the door,swiped the card for the alarm and realised it had not been set last night.
I then found a note telling me that she had been unable to set the alarm. On further investigation I found that she had been unable to set the alarm because she had left the back door OPEN. Not just unlocked but OPEN!!!
Numpty!!
All is fine, it’s a good job it’s just a sleepy little country village.
Yes I did think to ask if the plumber knew a gas fitter. He gave me the name of one that I’ve already tried!
Many thanks for the link - JCJ very helpful. I even put the job on ratedpeople.com but no-one has contacted me. Maybe they don’t like small jobs. I don’t know…what a palaver.