stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND) (Part 2)

Glad you enjoyed your birthday and OH’s. Great he did manage the cafe as you say it is an achievement, woo hoo! Did you eat rest of ice cream?
No am silently fuming about BP. Have had issues for over 20 years, was on one tab, it was not reducing so have been taking two for around 15 years. Taking the two has been managing BP successfully, so it is not a new issue. Def could understand if it was and that was why I had to record for a week but it’s not new arrgh. Have recorded around 19 and each one is high, when I spoke to nurse told her recordings and that’s why it went down to 5 days…am so angry whew good to get that all out haha.
Nipped into town earlier to get a couple of things managed to arrive home before the rain started woo hoo.
About to pack bag, it’s not too bad because have lots of stuff at YD’s. xx

Belated happy birthday wishes to you jcj. I hope you enjoyed your day.
Enjoy your time at YD’s Katy.
Well after spending all morning filling in appraisal form (it’s all on line now) appraisal didn’t happen on Monday as planned because there was a teacher out and I had to cover. Another time set for Friday, we’ll see. Our ofsted rating was published, we got a good all round. Everyone seems happy. So hopefully no pressure for 3 years. We can concentrate on the children. Enjoying my day off doing nothing but reading. Have a good day everyone. X

Whoop! Whoop! For Good Ofsted. Everyone can now relax and get on with their jobs. Phew! When they eventually do your appraisal, hopefully they will take into account your versatility and flexibility: covering at short notice instead of doing what was planned!

Katy, I hope they have come to some useful decision about BP. That 2nd tablet seemed to be causing other problems - tiredness/dizziness? - so maybe something less powerful or a lower dose might do the trick? I hope it’s sorted soon and you can calm down :exploding_head::slightly_smiling_face::kissing_heart:

Safe trip to YD’s. Hope all goes well with the Grandma/Nanny/Nana duties and YD enjoys her escape.

I’ve had some of the ice cream but because it has a chocolate shell, it’s really hard to chisel out of the carton. Ideally, it needs 10 minutes out of the freezer before serving (and that’s not conducive to secret eating :face_with_hand_over_mouth:) we’ll probably have it for dessert after Sunday dinner, perhaps with some raspberries so I can pretend we’re eating healthily. :joy:

Right. Must get off this bench, peg the washing out and hoover. Might even bestir myself enough to do some gentle gardening. Might. :grin:

Hurrah for good report Ali! Whew.
Fab trip through was only one in compartment, weather was also very good actually warm. Dropped stuff off at YDS and then up to hotel, was asleep before 9 haha.
Not so warm today just lazing around for while then up to a couple of shops then down to YDs. She is going to leave earlier so will meet GS off the bus have all my instructions. Just keeping fingers crossed he is fine going back to school after break next week.
Am over BP just had to have a rant…
Bought a sandwich for my breakfast and it has chips in it? Seemed like a great idea yesterday not so sure today??? Xx

Did try…it was awful yuck x

Bleurgh! Yuck! :nauseated_face: Cold chips in a sandwich? Just NO!! A hot chip butty is one (delicious) thing but definitely not cold chips!!

Are you back home yet, Katy? Was it just the weekend YD was away? Did it go OK? Did GS go back to school alright… or is it still school holidays up there?

I hope your appraisal went well, Ali… if it happened this time… and you enjoyed the long weekend safe in the knowledge that you and your school are good?! :innocent::grin:

Amble this morning was very lovely and I’ve made some more new friends - and have another walk I can do whilst awaiting OH’s prescription! One of the women there was describing her attempts to clean her house ready for visitors (what she thought was sun-fade on the stair carpet came off when hoovered because it was dust!! :joy: and she doesn’t possess a mop so was cleaning marks off her kitchen floor with a tissue!!) She made me feel so much better about my haphazard, infrequent housework. :stuck_out_tongue::rofl:

As I pulled onto our drive after the walk, I received a call from CRESS - the care respite people. I am now officially registered with them and can request someone to come and sit with OH, anytime, if necessary. 36 free hours a year but I can also buy “sits”, after that, at £25 a time. He’s absolutely fine to leave, at the moment, so I feel a bit of a fraud setting it up but it is good to know the service is ready for me if and when I need it. Makes me feel so much less trapped. I’m still hoping to get away for my seaside break for a couple of days so I might book someone to come and visit soon so OH is comfortable with them and knows he can contact them. Perhaps book them to come in and check on him on the days I’m away. Not sure how I’m going to broach the subject as it seems ridiculous to suggest he needs carers when he’s like this.

Final payment is due, on Thursday, for the summer holiday and as he’s coping better, at the moment, we’ve decided to go ahead with it. Hurrah! I think he’ll be OK. :crossed_fingers:t3::crossed_fingers:t3::crossed_fingers:t3::crossed_fingers:t3::crossed_fingers:t3: He says, if PDN suggests any more meds changes, he is going to request that they are delayed until after we get back. He’s also referred to our September holiday (which I’d resigned myself to not having) but, much as I want to go away in the first week of term (sorry, Ali :speak_no_evil:), I won’t book anything until we see how July/Aug goes. Ditto my seaside break. Although I still intend to have my day by the sea, by myself, by train. When/if the weather is a bit more reliable!!

It’s been lovely now the weather is a bit drier and warmer. Being able to get out into the garden makes life so much more bearable!

Meant to say:
10 stitch blanket is finished. Not sure I like it any better than the one it is replacing!

Yes am still here, GS went off to school today. Woo hoo was so very pleased felt a little anxious beforehand but his helper was fabulous. His face crumpled as bus turned up but she was all excited to see him and gave him lots of hugs, whew.
Sent message to YD she was so relieved too, asked 100 questions haha. She was just about to board.
That’s all very good news at your end JCJ, just makes things so much easier. Glad OH is doing ok, after all the trauma. It’s sounding so much more positive. Planning hols etc. great you managed your amble and have met more people it’s good for the soul…
Like your throw, it’s pretty. Had a read of pattern and thought of no that’s too much hard work haha.
Have not “got over” sandwich yet so so yuck :nauseated_face:
Had a call last week saying nurse would phone yesterday to let me know what was what. She phoned and said you will know by readings your blood pressure is high so will chat to doc and phone you tomorrow which is today, WHAT?? Thought that had already happened obviously not, ED says change doctors…better the devil you know??
Beautiful day here, sun is shining woo hoo xx

I spent the weekend sleeping even more than usual, which is saying something! Completely exhausted, it’s the long Covid. Appraisal still not happened, I had to cover the same teacher again. Oh well, I give up.
How nice to have 2 holidays to look forward to jcj, not at all jealous about booking in term time :grimacing: that’s the first thing I’d do when I get to retire :grinning:
That’s good about GS going happily to school, Katy, enjoy your time.
Thank goodness the weather has improved this week, always makes me feel better.

Summer is here!! Whoop! Whoop! Make the most of it. These few days might be all we get?!
Spent most of the day knitting (another tote bag) and reading in the shade, although I did go and get his prescription - the 2 items they didn’t give us double of last time! Repeat prescription still not right: They’ve not increased the Ropinirole back to 4, as instructed, so I shall have to go up in person next month to sort it out. Pharmacy has not got a good word to say about our Drs surgery!:confused:

Ali, I have spent my whole life unable to have term-time holidays (Dad was a university lecturer. I married a teacher almost as soon as I finished uni!) It was what I was most looking forward to about retirement: The Lake District and/or Cornwall in June/July without the hoards of people. Not to mention exorbitant prices! However, PD has put paid to travelling that far…and there’s OH’s ridiculous insistence on still holidaying in August “because we always have”. Arrrggghhh! :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::rage:
Final payment went out, this morning, (ouch!) for our lakeside lodge. So, of course, he’s had an off day, making me question-yet again- whether we’ve made the right decision.
I hope YD got back safely, Katy, and enjoyed her break - without too much Mummy guilt!
Chippy night but I had my oven version. Somewhat delayed because I forgot to put them in before I went. Had to text OH to put the oven on to warm up while I walked home then wait 30mins for them to cook whilst he gobbled his. (That’s a barefaced lie: he eats SO slowly it could never be described as gobbling!!:smile:) Half an hour is such a long time to wait for something that would have been ready if I wasn’t such a numpty!!

PDN visit this afternoon. She was brilliant. OH has been winding himself up about it for days so it didn’t help that she was an hour late arriving: (she was unavoidably delayed and did ring to apologise.)

After all the usual Qs, she asked him to do a memory test “as a baseline for future reference”, because he denied having any memory issues! (I strategically sat slightly behind him and could nod or shake my head, as appropriate, without him knowing! :face_with_hand_over_mouth:) He couldn’t do the drawing tasks because his hands were shaking too much but he scored well on the rest of the test so she said there is no sign of dementia… Yet: the “memory lapses” are more likely to be not listening. This doesn’t explain some of the bizarre things he’s said to me but maybe that’s just the anxiety. I’m hugely relieved - and extremely grateful for her tactful thoroughness.

The change in meds was due to the hallucinations and these have now stopped but apparently most PD drugs cause them so we’ve not got many options. :slightly_frowning_face: However, there is one thing he could try but she suggested increasing his antidepressant first as he’s currently on the lowest, introductory, dose and that should help with the anxiety which makes PD worse (and vice versa). If that doesn’t work, they’ll introduce the new thing. Unfortunately, this means having to get a GP appointment and get him/her to agree to the anti-d increase. PDN has promised to email our surgery about it - and remind them of the current Ropinirole dose, whilst she’s at it! - so I’ll wait a couple of days for that to happen before I commence battle with GP surgery. :crossed_fingers:t3::crossed_fingers:t3:PDN is going to phone in a month to see how he’s getting on. :grin:

Such a relief that it’s done. Hopefully, he will calm down now. It’s been a difficult few days. We were both dreading more meds changes. Still traumatised?!

Dull and cooler today. Raining now. Sorry. That’s my fault: on Saturday, I put away my boots and got my sandals out! Optimistic fool?!

Oh Ali, long covid that’s not great. Have you any idea how long that lasts for? Indefinitely?? Good you were able to rest at least.
Glad visit was successful JCJ, that’s an excellent that anti depressants can be increased, may just make all the difference. Fingers crossed. You managed to “get” an appointment with doc quickly for yourself hopefully be just as quick for OH.

Have been busy as a lady who lunches haha , we went to a lovely place today. It was a very pretty inside with yummy food woo hoo.
Just had a coffee other day too busy chatting for lunch hee hee.
We had 2 hot days in a row, then a grey day and now pouring…boots were back on today, no fear of them being put away.
YD enjoyed her time away but missed monkey hugely. She arrived home around an hour later than anticipated but in time to meet GS from bus. I luckily managed to leave before he came home and had a lift to railway station which meant I caught an earlier train so all worked out well.
Know it will be getting on your nerves but after me making a few calls new BP medicine has been issued, was hoping they would be ready to pick up today as I was in town. No such luck had been home for around 20 mins when I received a text saying they were ready arrgh will need to go back into town tomorrow. Have to take for 2 weeks, have a blood test, then after 6 weeks send in a week’s worth of BP.
Will just be so glad to start them. Fed up of thuddy heads ouch.
Bought a spray thing that’s meant to give your hair volume, read a tip, will see if it works…xx

Only a couple more weeks until half term, Ali, and then it’s one final (exhausting- especially if it gets hot) push to the end of the year and a proper break. Rest as much as you can. Drs orders! :grin:

Katy, hope your BP is sorted. When is your next GS minding trip?

I was dreading trying to get in touch with Drs. Decided to phone, at 10am: after the morning mayhem, and give it an hour. If I’d not got through by then, I was going to walk up to the surgery. “You are currently in a queue… (“here we go :roll_eyes:”)…your call will be answered in approximately 5 minutes”. Ooh! 5 mins later: Receptionist said Dr C (one of the better ones, who knows OH’s problems) would ring later today. She rang at 3pm. Increased anti d. dose agreed: can start tonight by taking 2 of current dose. New tabs at chemist possibly tomorrow. She’ll ring in a month to check how it’s going. Ropinirole dose also corrected on repeat prescription. Hurrah!!

She said increasing this meds might make his anxiety worse for the first two weeks. Oh. My. Lord!! :scream::tired_face:

Katy, I can recommend a stroll along Norecambe prom if you want more body in your hair!! :wind_face::tornado: (Although that might also involve actual bodies: of seagulls and assorted flying insects? Not to mention sand :rofl:)

I’m so pleased that the PDN visit was successful. I hope that increasing the anti depressants work.
I had my long term illness review on Tuesday, and a phone appointment with the doctor today. Results all ok so dr is pleased. Thank goodness. Even blood pressure behaved, most unusual!
Hope your blood pressure is better Katy.
Counting down the days till half term. I have one wellbeing day to use up before July. Must book it soon.
I have no idea how long Covid lasts. It’s been a couple of years for me. I used to go to a long Covid clinic, who sent me to various departments for tests which discovered I had low B12, corrected by injections, no difference in fatigue, sleep apnea, again no difference, and aortic stenosis, just monitoring not too bad yet. And here I am still fatigued.

Are all these symptoms long covid Ali? That’s awful.
Hurry and book your day off, something to look forward too.
That was great everything sorted for OH at docs, woo hoo. Especially only a 5 min wait.
BP is good, normal tested yesterday! Blood test booked too. Phoned about a review appointment about my foot because the insole is impossible to wear so ouchy, it’s back in box.
Went into town yesterday, 3 books in charity shop, 2 jigsaws and a top really pleased with all!
Dropped stuff at home then went along to ED’s stayed too late…sat in the garden and talked non stop haha. Her tablets have been reduced and it is still under control, consultant said she was hoping ED’s body would start to cope itself, fingers crossed.
Well, would have been better walking in Norcambe, stuff wasn’t great so have abandoned that too. Didn’t note any difference whatsoever. Eldest GD has been accepted to the 3 uni’s she wanted she has been chopping and changing which one she really wants to go to. At the moment it is now the one nearest to here. Her first choice would take her 5 years, whereas one nearer is only 4 so that’s what is swaying her.
YD’s end of the month.
Another sunny day, unbelievable??? All windows open, just lovely xx

Nearly there, Ali: half term soon, hang in there! Book your wellbeing day so you get a long weekend? I only ever got one of those but I vividly remember the feeling of guilt at not being at school when everyone else was but I wasn’t ill! Felt like skiving. :grin:

Glad your bloods are behaving better, Katy, and good news that EDs condition seems to be under control. Hurrah for GD’s uni offers. Exciting times for her.

I’m wary of tempting fate but things seem to be picking up here :crossed_fingers:t3:: only 5 days into increased anti d and OH actually managed to come swimming this afto! :clap:t2::clap:t2:First time this year, I think. I suggested, yet again, that he used the family/disabled changing room so I could be on hand if he got into difficulties getting changed but, as ever, he refused… but he did ask at reception if there was a number he could ring if he needed someone and they were very helpful. There’s progress?!!

Bit the bullet this morning and ordered a new fridge. Ours is freezing things at the back and various other things are broken on it so I suppose it’s time for it to go. Can’t find the same thing again but I’ve chosen a Bish, Bash, B**** one that JL (2 men’s names) will deliver, next Tuesday, and take the old one away for recycling. No doubt, as usual, I’ll be disappointed and miss things about the old fridge but I’ll soon get used to it.

YD messaged me, yesterday. They are planning to visit over half term. Hurrah! :blush: I don’t know if it will be all of them or just YD and GD; YD has booked time off work so it’s not about childcare. They’re just waiting to find out DIL’s shifts as she starts her new job on the wards next week; the first two weeks have been training (she said she felt ancient at her college induction as all her classmates are teenagers! :joy:)

We’ve had a lovely few sunny days but that probably won’t last: I washed my winter coat today!!

woo hoo JCJ, that’s fantastic news regarding OH, really, really good indeed.
Who could imagine that this would be even possible a couple of months ago??
You will feel more positive too.
Fab girls are visiting, what does DIL do now? Be lovely to see them again.
And a new fridge??? You will enjoy new one more…
Had a surprise on Sat, eldest GD phoned and asked if she could stay over, first time staying in a long time. Last exam is tomorrow so she even managed a bit of studying here. Had to call it a night for me at midnight just too tired haha.
Went into town this afternoon mainly for a tasty sandwich, lido tomorrow everything has butter on it at hospital yuck. Not as early thank goodness last time was 8 am, 9.30 this time, much better. xx

Hope lido goes well tomorrow :crossed_fingers:t3:Enjoy your butterless sandwich.

I bet EGD will be celebrating after her last exam. Lovely that she wanted to stay over with you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

DIL is qualifying as a care assistant with NHS. It’s basically what she’s been doing, for years, for a charity working with special needs young adults. They wouldn’t provide her with qualifications so she’s left! Once qualified, there should be plenty of work opportunities doing what she’s good at - and loves - but in the meantime it’s a bit full on. She’ll be training on the men’s urology ward (“old men’s willies” as YD refers to it :face_with_hand_over_mouth:) at least at first. There is no guarantee of work in NHS, on completion of the course, but there’s a desperate shortage of carers so she should be fine.

Meant to post this photo :arrow_down: when you said your YD was “missing monkey” because I’d just finished knitting these:

Meet Maxi(ne) and Mini Monkeys :grin:

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Great news about OH, I hope it continues. I love the monkeys, so cute. How lovely that your family will visit in the half term. Enjoy!
Hope lido is going well Katy.
One day to go, hooray! Long day yesterday the school had a movie and popcorn after school. Stayed to help so didn’t get home until after 5. Not used to long days anymore so was asleep by 8. After being woken up by dog at usual 6 am, I went back to sleep and woke up again at 10. Didn’t put my Cpap machine on again so apparently snored (said OH) and dog woke me up again, like she used to before I had machine, by pawing me. She used to wake me a few times in the night when i apparently stopped breathing. When I was being monitored, the times she woke me up corresponded to the ‘incidents’ recorded on the monitor. Such a clever girl. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

What a clever dog! :heart: The poor thing must have never slept!

Enjoy your half term break, hopefully with no lurgs. Let’s hope the weather picks up!

Hope lido went well and you’re not too stuck on the K bench, Katy.

I was on the FF bench yesterday. Netflix and most of the TV catch up apps have vanished from our “smart” TV! After some googling and a lot of faffing, all to no avail, I contacted support and was told that the app provider does not support TVs made prior to 2015. What?! That’s only 9 years!! So much for sustainability?! :rage: Our aerial doesn’t work very well so we’re quite reliant on the catch up apps, especially on my little TV upstairs. That’s a little bit newer but it’s only a matter of time…! :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: I looked into Freesat, instead of replacing the TV or getting a streaming box, but that involves set up expense and the Trustpilot reviews are dire! :roll_eyes:Apparently Freely has launched, this year: a WiFi version of Freeview, so maybe I’ll wait and see how that goes. Already paying stupid money for broadband anyway.

We went swimming again, yesterday, at OH’s request. He’s on a bit of a fitness campaign because I got annoyed with him for refusing to go to PD exercise class and subsequently being discharged from physio dept. It won’t last!

At the moment, he’s at a friend’s house. I should be enjoying the time to myself but he suddenly announced he was going (and therefore needing a lift!) while I was gardening. Had to down tools, clean up and drive him a mile up the road. Now back home with a cuppa and coffee cake but can’t relax as I’m awaiting a text to fetch him back! Grrrr. Should be glad he’s feeling better enough to do these things but…!

At the garden centre, the other day, there was a “Nut Shack” (yes, really! :face_with_hand_over_mouth:) outside, selling all kinds of goodies. I bought some salted caramel fudge (5 enormous chunks for £3.50) and some dark chocolate coated cranberries. Yum, yum, yum. The lady also let me try a dark chocolate coffee bean. Oh. My. Days! :exploding_head: Looking forward to my lunch there, next month! (At the garden centre, not in the Nut Shack, although…?!) :grin:

I also bought the summer plants for the tubs and I’ve put them in today. Just got to remember to water them regularly now.

This week, I donned my ecowarrior hat and turned several of the end slivers of soap (white bird associated with peace) into liquid soap to refill the dispensers instead of buying more plastic. It seems to have been a success (thank you Google!) but I’m not sure if I’ll bother again: it was a lot of faff. Ironically, the hardest part was cleaning the soap off all the utensils!

YD messaged: she and GD are coming Thursday to Saturday and staying at “Chateau Nana” (her words :blush:) hurrah!!