Storm Riders/A Town Called Determination

Public Archive
201

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2007

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that
everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. It’s bloody hot down here!!!

202

Really Bored
Things you can do with absolutely nothing…

Push your eyes for interesting light show:
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things - is your subconscious trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV? Or for that matter, watch TV with your eyes shut doing this?

See how long you can hold your breath:
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible.

Try to not think about polar bears:
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about polar bears anyway.

Scratch yourself:
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn’t that feel pretty good?

Hurt yourself:
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There’s nothing physical about it - it’s all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

Try to swallow your tongue:
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) There’s not much to say about this one. It is possible.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image:
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

Get yourself as nauseated as possible:
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can’t even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the “makes boredom seem a lot better” effect (see “Hurt Yourself”).

Things you can do with very little:

See what’s in your neighbour’s trash:
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR.

Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent:
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Fun to pretend the people on the screen are actually talking that way.

Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it’s a cliff:
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don’t step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and… AHHHHHH!!!

Things you can do with another person:

Have a water drinking contest:
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you probably won’t feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them.

Stare at the back of someone’s head until they turn around:
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the “I have the feeling I’m being watched” principle. Conduct an experiment–does this really work?

Have a “Who is less competitive” competition:
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view:
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2’ high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It’s never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.

203

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself ‘Wouldn’t it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me.’ He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place. They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.

At seven o’clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, ‘Oh no!!! My wife’s dinner party!!!’ He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said: ‘Come on guys, we’re almost there!’

204

PMSL!! I like that.

205

Thought we needed a laugh line for a bit there. And, I just interpreted PMSL all by myself. lol.

206

Oooh get you getting all forum savvy :smiley: :stuck_out_tongue:

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Oh you had to go and burst my bubble. I’ll bite, what’s :stuck_out_tongue: ?

208

It’s sticking one’s tongue out. Actually it’s a sad indictment of my life that I’ve spent enough time on forums to know these things. :-S

209

Think of it more as creative expression, using modern day hieroglyphics to enhance the written word. The Egyptians did it after all and they are very highly regarded in some circles. I’d say it was time well spent. :stuck_out_tongue:

210

Sal, meant to say, yes, keep up that stretching. For sleeping I used to roll over with the duvet bunched under the boob so it supported it, and if I turned the other way I’d put the duvet between the two of them. Adding a second pillow kept everything a bit more elevated too so it didn’t get so squished.

Heard Slumdog was great. Must give it a shot.

Jane, sounds like a good day all in all! Well done.

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I slept with a pillow under my sore boob to stop it sliding into my armpit too. And a cushion between the two if I slept on my side - which I didn’t for a few weeks because it was too sore. Now I can’t sleep on my side because of the port wounds being sore. Pah.

Re the smileys - sometimes I go to put them in letters to clients at work. "Dear Mr Blah, unfortunately the tax payable will be higher than originally estimated :frowning: " - one has to be very careful ;o)

212

However, Riviera sleeps on her back anyway to avoid acquiring aging and unglamorous wrinkles, so you’re doing her a favour really. :slight_smile:

Lol, I do the same in emails to clients. Got to be quick of the mark and spot them before I hit the send button!

Off to bed with me.

213

Well this is odd I posted a long post with rads advice and some horsey stuff and it has disappeared,it cant have been moderated surely???
rhapsodt the main thing was to blow a cold hairdrier on the split skin several times a day.My GP recommended it and it really hastens healing.
The Old One

214

I’ve just read the whole thread and feel humiliated - how do you all keep so cheerful and creative ? My workmates reckon I’m a cantankerous old bat , and I wondered if it was Ok to join your gang in the fight against the baddies.Had a left mastectomy 12/1 and had chemo #1 on 12/2.Was feeling really saddle-sore today so went exploring the net instead of the TV.I feel a total wimp compared to you all, so how does Tumbleweed sound ?

215

Hello Tumbleweed and welcome…:smiley:

The Old one - thanks for that… We have got a fan we bought on the last day woolworths were in business… Nigel got it for the grand price of £2.49… i will try and use it later…:smiley:

I’ve just realised i started posting but never really introduced myself… (ignore me if i did - chemo brain… lol)

I’m Theresa, 44 from Morpeth in Northumberland, married to Nigel and we have a 12 year old son called David and a 4 year old black labrador called Molly… My son is autistic and attends a specialist unit attached to a mainstream middle school… I’m a stay at home mum and before all this happened i used to spend alot of my time scrapbooking and cardmaking…

216

Tumbleweed - if you have had a masectomy and started chemo so recently - no way are you wimp… {{{HUGS}}}

Have you all noticed that you can now see what the latest threads to have been commented on - in all the sections…?

217

Hey Tumbleweed, and welcome! Saddle sore means you’ve been riding for a while to get here, so best head into the saloon for a quick pick me up. They do a mean stew in there too. There’s a tea room on a side street that’ll do you breakfast. And the blacksmith will stable your horse for a while. We’re bunking down at the Old One’s place - I’ll give you directions later.

Oh, Old One, I’ve had that a couple of times. It happens when two of us post at the exact same time. One of us makes it through, the other has to rewrite the whole goddarn thing! I’ve started copying anything lengthy in case it happens again, and I can just paste it back on.

I saw that about all the new posts too. Excellent development.

I have half a notion somebody is getting something done today, or is it tomorrow? Really need to start a notebook to keep up.

218

You obviously didn’t sleep either last night Carole:( I’ve been awake since about 3:30am. Can’t really work it out. Maybe it’s just the body all mucked up with drugs etc. I’m quite inventive with pillows for support in bed myself. I learned all the tricks when I broke my shoulder. Although I slept in a chair for most of the night for about six weeks - lying down (even propped up) was excruciating.

Tumbleweed - great name. Welcome. It’s easy to feel wimpish at times, but remember that it’s a temporary state of mind. I think I’m training to be a cantankerous old bat; I really think it’s something to aspire to:)

Jane, your description of your first rads appointment made me think of a Benny Hill sketch. I’ll be humming that music when I get mine:)

It took me a while to work out the PMSL bit. Got it now. Personally, I PMSV when I got back from hospital last week, but that’s probably too much information!! Carole, that’s one benefit of not having had children - you won’t be doing that:)

On the humour note. This is one of my favourites:D

After every flight, most pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S:Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Makes me laugh every time.

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Love it! There’s nothing funnier than real life. ;D

With you on the drugs disrupting the system Sal, that’s probably what it is. Plenty of chamomile before bed time. The more I drink the better everything is.

However, the mad scientist experiments are going well. Hissing of bunsen burners, lots of gurgling flacons and the odd POOF! of coloured smoke, and PHHHOOOMP of something blowing up in the background. The constipation meds were suggested from night 1, but as I don’t need them till it hits tomorrow, they are now having the exact opposite effect of constipation! Am now taking the steroids and anti sick as precribed in an attempt to sort out this next delight. Ooo erk! I think something just blinked at me from the petri dish!

220

Just had a call from the local District nurses to clean and flush my Hickman line - anyone else been fitted with one of these ?