Storm Riders/A Town Called Determination

Gen, that made me cry. Now the word tragic is greatly over-used these days, but that is tragic. Makes you realize how lucky we are to be given a chance to fight our demon, doesn’t it? I have to admit, I was a forum virgin when I started posting on here just before Christmas, but it’s given me great comfort knowing you’re all out there and that we’re all in it together.

I had my walk. Uphill all the way there - phew. It was good to get the heart and lungs working again, although the old war wound was throbbing a bit by the time I got to the top. Anyway, I always feel better when I’m up high looking down on the world and I got inspiration for another chapter. So if you don’t mind me butting in again Carole, I’ll post it.

Just seen your post Carole. How true. When you’re feeling down, your black thoughts are all consuming. It’s important to remember that those thoughts are not your true thoughts - your mind’s been hijacked by demons, but you’ll get it back soon.

It had taken all morning, but Steel had rounded up all of the Storm Riders and got them settled in at the Old One’s place. Todd had watched from a distance and decided he’d wait before talking to them. They didn’t look like they were going anywhere anytime soon, so there was time enough for talking tomorrow. Besides, The Boss was out of town today, so there shouldn’t be any trouble yet. The Riders spent all afternoon helping the Old One get the place straight. You could see she’s been struggling to cope for a while and she was glad of the help.

As promised, at six the Old One rang the chow bell and they all gathered in the barn for the best meal they’d had in a long time. They were hungry from their exertions and didn’t talk much until the plates were clean. They sat back on the straw, completely sated and blessed the angel that had sent them to the Old One’s place. Steel suddenly remembered the whisky she’d picked up in the store earlier and started to pass it round.

“Howdy Ma” came a voice from the barn door. One of the Old One’s large brood had ridden in from an outlying farm. She sauntered in, saying “I see you’ve got company. I’m glad I bought my banjo.” She took a shot of whisky and started to play. This was a song they were all familiar with and one by one they started to sing. That felt good and they all felt the connection that had been blossoming between them was growing stronger with each new tune.

By the time darkness had come, the mood was lively and some began to dance. It was getting hot in the barn and Riviera decided she needed some air. She stepped outside to the yard and made her way over to the trough. She removed her ‘kerchief from her neck and dunked it in the cool water. As she straightened up, she heard the click of a pistol being cocked and felt the cool steel against her neck. She froze and a voice said,

“What are you lot doing in this town?”

“Just passing through.” said Riviera “On our way back to Normality, but the pass is blocked, so we’ve got to wait awhile before we can move on.”

“The Boss don’t like strangers” said the voice.

Just then, Steel took a peek out of the barn door and saw what was happening. Two more young men moved out of the shadows. Steel snuck back into the barn and grabbed the others. As they came out of the barn The Boss’s boys turned on them. These boys were big, but they were no match for the Storm Riders. Casey grabbed a shovel that was lying against the barn. She grinned, she’d been shovelling coal into her engine for 10 years and she and that shovel felt like old friends. Steel still had the whisky bottle in her hand, PonchoCat was carrying a large heavy pan and Mule and Blackjack found themselves a couple of pick axe handles.

It didn’t take long to see off The Boss’s boys. They were kids after all, out to try and impress The Boss. The Riders stood in the yard, panting. Fighting on a stomach full of food and whisky wasn’t easy!

Mule looked over at Riviera, who was just getting to her feet, and grinned. She nudged Steel and jerked her head towards Riviera. Now Riviera is a stylish kinda gal, but right now, she was covered in dirt and her hair was all over the place. They’d never seen her like that.

“You’re not looking your usual perfect self there Riviera” said Steel.

They all rushed over and started dusting her off. Casey grabbed her hat and dunked it in the trough. Soaking wet, she plonked it on Riviera’s head. Riviera pushed them away grumpily.

“You took your time” she said. “Now where’s the mirror? I need to fix myself up.”

Really fed up today,up early to get to the hospital at 8.30am where they took a blood test- bloods were low so my first cycle of TAX has been delayed until Weds I could not help shedding a few tears at the hospital. I asked the nurse about the injections you can have and she is going to have a word with onc to see if I can have them in future as this is the 3rd time my chemo has been delayed.
Also fed up with no front tooth it broke off at gum level 2 weeks ago not sure if this is chemo related or not. Dentist glued it back in but it was only 5 days before it fell out again so she is now going to make a false tooth on a plate as a temporary measure until after chemo when I will have a crown done. Rather expensive this one tooth!!
Vegas Kid

I’m loving the way the Determination story is unfolding and I LOVE my alter ego - if you could only see what a scruff I really am… :smiley:

I’ve had a bit of a frustrating day. This insurance business has, as I feared, added a load of extra admin to the process, slowed it down and hence it doesn’t now look as if I will be starting chemo next week. My Onc in her guise as private consultant has approval from my insurers, that was given on Tuesday. The Onc’s secretary then yesterday contacted the company who will be coming out to actually give the chemo (why the gap between Tues and Thurs? *£&* knows!), was told somebody would call her back to give details of where to fax etc but they didn’t so that had to be chased this morning.

Then it turns out the Healthcare at Home people need written confirmation of funding from the insurers before they will proceed (they have verbal, but not written). That has been asked for today.

While these people amble along taking their sweet time to deal with the paperwork over a skinny latte and a danish, I have ended up chasing my Onc’s secretary and then my insurers this morning to get this all moving. I spoke to the Healthcare people who said a nurse would phone me (no day specified), but they thought chemo next week was “unlikely”.

Obviously no nurse has called so I am totally clueless as to when chemo starts. Maybe she’ll call on Monday and tell me it’s Tuesday. Maybe it will be a week or so before they can schedule me in. Meanwhile my life is on hold and I can’t plan a thing.

I’m sure once it starts I’ll be glad of the benefits of home treatment, and a few more days makes little difference I’m sure, but just at the moment I’m feeling seriously hacked off with it all and just dumped in limbo.

Bah, grump, moan, whinge. :frowning:

Gen - sorry to hear that they have been messing you around so much…:frowning:

Carole - you are right the chemo does send you to a very dark place… but i did find that once it had finished i felt so much better again… {{{HUGS}}}

Vegas kid - sorry that your bloods were not suitable today…:frowning: i lost half a tooth mid way through chemo as well… not sure if it is a common thing…

Just popped in before bed. Got bored with the film and wasn’t concentrating anyway.

Love the chapter Mule! Just what we needed, a bad guy @ss whupping with humour!

Looks like we’re up for a solid moan fest this weekend. Vegas, you moan about your tooth, and we’ll line up a bad guy to lose a few of his. Riviera, you moan about generally everything, and we’ll generally give the whole darn bunch of them a good whupping again. Steel can moan about, well whatever Steel moans about, and she’ll lay someone out just for the heck of it 'cos she’s feeling ornery. Mule, you’re on a high, so you get to sit and laugh your boots off, tripping someone up on the way past and pushing them head first into a barrel.

Yup, let’s get this bad guy whupping show on the road!

As the moon shone down over the Old One’s yard and the Boss’s boys slunk off, the Storm Riders leapt onto their horses. The horses reared en mass, pawing the silvered air, and whoopin’ and hollerin’ six gunslingers rode fast into the night, letting off steam, and doing what they do, doing what makes their hearts beat stronger - laughing in the face of the Storm.

Night all, see you tomorrow. :0)

Hey! Red is perfect! and my mum used to call me taz when i was a kid…got me bang on! oh, just taken 2 hrs to read the last 13 pages, cant sleep, coughing and getting over mahusive chest infection after overdoing it (jet washed the patio on sunday), been lying low in the saloon, sorry i missed all the fun. but me and breeze are ready to ride again, well more hobble, but we’ll catch up somehow. and if only you could see my wardrobe, its awash of pink purple and yellow! ghastly! need to stop buying pink things!

As to coping with the little’uns, social services managed to swing 2 full days childcare for both of them, and eldest goes to Meithrin, welsh preschool 3 mornings a week so i get some respite, my mum has come up for two weeks and that helps, hubby fantastic too, he drives and i dont so he takes kiddies to school etc. and dosent work so can step in when im wobbly and fighting the demons. oh their little bu***ers aint they! just when i feel like im getting on, i sit down and they jump me! gonna hide out on the roof of the saloon and pick em off one by one! bang bang!

getting so anxious about next chemo, had such a bad reaction to last one ended up in hosp at 1am shaking and shivering, blood test was perfect so put it down to tension and anxiety, gave me sleeping pills which didnt work, and sent me home. they overdosed me on the steriods too, was gonna have TAC now just having AC, dunno why, must ask. blew up, but slept really well, 8-8 every day for first 5, but not sleeping much now at all :frowning:

need to pluck up the courage to call the complimentary therapys place the mac nurse put me on to, iust dont want to have to “play my cards”, hate jumping que’s and getting stuff becuse i got the big C. feel’s weird. just want a good massage and a stern talking to and ill be right as rain again.

i was a forum virgin too before all this, and i have to say you guys are amazing and have really lifted my spirits whenever i have visited, your strength and friendship shines out like a beacon in the night.

i hope you are all doing alright today and sending best wishes to you all, Red (Nikki) xxx

Hi Red…:smiley:

My first four chemo cycles were AC… sorry i can’t remember your tale of getting here… are you having to have chemo before your op? I know they often use AC for that.

Glad that social services have managed to organise some help - when i was first diagnosed my son’s school got in contact with the children with disabilities team for me to try and help get some respite care for David (he is autistic) they did… but it took 6 months to get in place… lol In the end he went for the first time 3 days before i had my mastectomy…

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! That’s for you, Gen. Don’t these people know what they’re doing to us when they @rse around like that! Your experience sounds like an episode of Yes, Minister. That’s another bunch of pen pushers we’ll have to come round and duff up.

Nikki, if you need any help up there on the saloon roof, we’re all here ready and waiting. Don’t worry about jumping queues - if you need massage, just go for it. The help’s out there, so take it. You have to fight the system so often in this life, don’t argue when they offer something. Incidentally, one thing I have found that is good for calming the brain is a yoga based thing. If you rest your forehead, it is very restful. So I often sit cross legged with my forehead on a pile of cushions/pillows/arm of the sofa. Stay there for a good 10 minutes and consciously let your arms flop and relax. I find it works.

Carole, hope you’re feeling better today. You sounded better already by your last post. Feels good to be tackling the baddies doesn’t it?

Sun’s shining, so I’m off for a walk.

Gen that is shocking-they need a posse of storm riders up their tails.Whats the point of private cover if you end up with a service worse than the NHS.I am surely enjoying having you folks around and especially enjoyed the sing song.When you are ready to head off towards Normality we’ll have a hogroast out back and wash it down with a few gallons of raisin wine.[I know a rudish joke about that but might be moderated].I’ll stay here till the last of you is on the road then I guess I’ll sell up here and hobble off back to Reality where I was born.
By the by thanks for the good job in seeing off those bad guys,I’ll let the dogs loose at night and they can guard the perimeters at night.
Still no news of the youngest one!
The Old One

At last…my time to step up to the plate,going into hospital tomorrow and op on monday,feel like I’ve been treading water forever,so had better start paddling like a mad thing now… special request for pot of homemade chicken soup when come out the other end,that should set me up into recovery mode.

Off to get my saddle bag packed,that’t the one for my horse ,not the one round my hips …(lol) ,catch up soon.

Sandra x

Scotia Spirit is ready and waiting to carry you on your way.

all the best for monday. be thinking of you.

martina

My you gals sure can gossip while a womans resting with a bad arm. One of them there baddies must av snuck in and ambushed me while I was having rads planning. So lesson to you all, keep up the exercises coz I reckon thats how they got hold of me. Been slacking on that front.

Sandra, good luck for your op on Mondaay. You’ll soon be having that chicken broth and recovering.

Gen, I have to admit to having a little weep, about your friend from the twins forum. Its great that your all there to support the familly. I have never done forums before but I know that without each and every one of you, I would be on the floor. You all lift my spirits so much. You must be so frustrated about the chemo. i know how I felt when I couldn’t get my onc appointment. Keep badgering them Gen.

Good news about your chemo though Blackjack. If you need any help with the horses during your treatment, give me a hollow and I’ll do me best. I’ve never worked with horses but I’m a fast learner and am sure you could train me up no problem.

Carole, sorry your feeling down. Am sending you a big hug and hoping that the black cloud soon lifts.

Sal, how was your walk and hows the arm holding out? I’m going to see slum dog tonight on your recomendation, so I know its going to be good because I can tell you call a spade a spade and thats what we need in this battle. Some straight talkin, to sort those baddies out.

Loving it at your place Old One and cant wait for the little one to come along, its going to make it so homely.

xx

Chicken soup will be on the hob Scotia and a batch of fresh baked bread.Good Luck love
The Old Onex

theres a lady who sometimes posts on my thread, i think she posted on this site before we moved here. she sometimes sends me a pm and last nite i got one from her, well not her, her son actually. she was suffering from terrible headaches for the last few weeks and thought it was migraine. she had a brain scan yesterday and they found a tumour. i think they are gonna operate on her next week. i was so shocked, but it was nice of her son to let me know. the reason i am telling you this is cos nobody in my family really understands the bonds we all have here. when one of us goes down we all share the sorrow,cos shes one of us. her name was JanRaw i dont know if any of you remember her. hopefully she will get through this and i know that you would all give her your good wishes.

thanks for letting me share this. i feel really sad for her.
martina

I hope to goodness they have caught it early enough - due to faffing about at neuro my husband’s brain tumour was the size of a lemon before it was discovered. He had 2 ops, 30 rads and chemo for ever until his body just packed up - I lost him after 6 years of it in April 2008.
I sure wish her good luck

Casey thats mighty neighbourly of ya. happin i may jus take you up on that there offer.

BlackJack

Hi y’all

Message for the Old One - have rested up, and now just about to get back on Valentine and come over to your place under cover of darkness! Would be mighty grateful if you could save me a portion of that stew for supper, ma’am. Quite partial to singin myself so lookin forward to next visit from your banjo-playin offspring.

Have kept reading this thread regularly (even on the days when I’ve been a bit too tired to join in) and knowing everyone else’s ups and downs really helps keep things in perspective for me. My best wishes and lots of (lop-sided) hugs go out to those having a rough time of it.

Calamity Jane,

hi y’all and good to hear you all too…martina - so shocked for jan with her news bless her…I think we’ll need more chicken soup and tasty bread for dunking…mary x

sandra - all the best kid for monday xx

ps all hugs - lobsided or not, gratefully accepted and willingly sent…I’ve been a bit up n down too but love to read the thread anyway and agree we seem to have that looking after each other bit too…take care girls…mary x