Storm Riders/A Town Called Determination

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Thankyou girls for your insight into things. I have some mulling over to do for sure…but it’ll be ok one way or another…

Well got the scan over with…now just got to see the plastic surgeon tomorrow. Will get him to feel my ‘lovely’ hard bit of boob…and get him to give his ideas on what it is!! he’s quite good looking in an obvious way and has got bundles of charm, so bit of a treat for me really…hehehehehe.

Hope things went smoothly Mary…yippee ki ay…you have finished. Yep I know you have to get over the rotten SE but nearly there eh!

Well well… chocolate chip cookies eh! and scones eh!..love em! We are gonna eat well in November! Your right Sal its the unexpected things that throw you, small, insignificant…but strikes an emotional cord within you…usually without warning…

Hi there Rose are you back with us yet? Hope everything went ok and that you are resting up like a good un! Pamper yourself and sleep, when you have to…

Di good luck for tomorrow…hope the neck is ok too! Half way there!
Lizzie…hope your phone call was ok…{{hugs}}

Hope all chemo babes with hangovers ride the storm…
crossed …
Hey you two…before you have a duel at sunset…make sure you bag up the good stuff and stash it somewhere safe…we’ll need to eat!!!

Helenxx

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Oooh you lucky dog! A sexy, smoochy, onc. Make the most of of it!

Yes, Rose, when you feel up to it, let us know how it went. Thinking about you.

Now, were was I… Oh yes, the sneaky butter on the floor trick. Hah! Here’s the flip the super sized pancake ploy. Here it comes, centre not quite cooked. Oh no! The goo, the goo! SPLATTO! hehhehheh, Mule pinned to the table top!

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Oooh so a good looking sheriff for you Helen. Lovely jubbly! Talking of medics, I had a phone call from the bcn this morning (finally) she’s spoken to the onc and I’m being sent an appointment - maybe next week. So my reprieve from the drugs may be short lived - drat.

Aaaaarrrgggghhh. Or should that be a muffled mmwwffthtthhhmp? I give in Steel, but keep watching your back:D I’ll be back…

Don’t worry Helen, I can’t see any storm riders starving to death - we love our food too much:)

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Steel glances around the kitchen, poised to retaliate. That Mule’s a sneaky blighter…

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Well, I’m staying out of the Scone Wars! I don’t really do baking, except for shortbread. I’m tolerably good at sauces and have some experience of feeding the 5 thousand - well that is a bit of an exaggeration, but I’m okay with largish numbers.

Sal, I know that I too felt really well just before dx. I had a routine mammo, went off on holiday and had a relaxing and healthy time (daily walking, swimming, mediterranean diet). I came back feeling better than I had for a few years to a recall letter, and the rest is history. I’ve always been generally healthy but a string of family illnesses had taken a bit of a toll over the last few years and the holiday had restored me, so it was all a bit of a shock.

Carole, I think you’re right about the trust in body thing. I’m just post-menopausal and I know that up till now I have had a lot of trust in my body going through its cycles, doing its thing and keeping me well. I felt so well and then found out that I was wrong! I think that really has knocked my confidence.

Then there is the future. In theory, my prognosis is good, but can I believe that? The problem is that it is all based on statistics and in real life we are individuals so for each of us it is either 100% or 0%. Futhermore, having been on the wrong side of the statistics on this twice already (only 1 in 20 are recalled and then 7 out of 8 recalled will not have bc) I find it difficult to believe that I will now be on the right side of the stats.

There is another point, which is that the media and many in the medical profession treat breast cancer as a “fluffy cause” and us women as not able to understand fully what is happening and the decisions that need to be made. Personally I feel I haven’t been treated like a fluffy idiot but then I probably set the scene by walking in and pulling out my notebook and list of questions! Even so, sometimes I’ve had to push for proper information rather than pat answers and that is tiring when you’re going through all this. In fact I think the tiredness is probably part of the problem; it is difficult to be confident while warding off fatigue.

And again, yes Sal, I know I am now even less tolerant of things that I don’t feel are positive for me than I was before all this. In many ways, like you Carole, I do feel stronger - so why do I still get weepy from time to time?

Carole, I think it is great you have raised this, and yes, we can do deep thinking without digging ourselves to Hades. But it may need a glass of wine!

Eliza xx

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Eliza, what you have said there rings absolutely true for me too. If we knew which way the stats were going to go for us, the decisions we have to make would be easy. But at the end of the day, it’s all guess work isn’t it? I know that if I’d assessed my risk of getting bc a year ago, I would have thought I was very low risk, but here I am. We’re all blundering about in the dark really and it’s pot luck whether we stub our toes or not!

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Here’s a glass, here’s the wine. Glug, glug, glug…

Fluffy cause, yes. My surgeon was female and was totally straight with me, to the point of excessive bluntness. Lol. I said that’s how I deal with things and she said “me too”, and did it. The oncs on the other hand have so far been male, and they’re just not as up to it. Definitely want to “fluff it” more. Are they scared of us? Scared of tears (typical man thing), can’t see that we have brains the size of theirs and more, just see the emotional side and see it as a female weakness or something. Not sure. I’ll give my onc another test run next week. He needs the exercise.:smiley:

Stats, work of the Devil as Gen would say.

How you all doing chemogals, Gen, Mary, Ros, Di, Rosie, Martina (please let this one be being an easy one!)? Have I forgotten somebody? Blow the mine to bits and bury this chemobrain, but it’s a darn annoyance!

Poo, and at the same time Yay on the appointment Sal. Best of luck kiddo. Getting something drug wise that works for you would be great in an whole lot ways.

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I’m not sure it is purely a gender thing, Carole. My surgeon is great and is male, while one of the onc registrars is female and so bad that I made a formal complaint. The breast physician I saw at the clinic was very honest and straightforward and female, and the onc registrar I’ve seen recently is excellent and male.

In some cases it may come back to the old joke: what is the difference between God and a doctor? Answer: God doesn’t think she’s a doctor.

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hi all

im finished, done, finito. went for last chemo on tues, had long discussion with onc said she would be happy with the 5 i have had and having the sixth one wasnt worth all the crap it caused me compared to the benefits it would give, so i shook her hand and came home. i feel quite strange actually, think i should be on top of the world but just hasnt registered yet. three weeks of rdx to do yet.

thankyou everyone for helping to get through this. mary is having her last one today. hope it goes ok. whereabouts are you carole. i have totally lost track of everyone, havent been on my computer for ages.

anyway jus wanted to let you know catch you all later

martina

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Hiya martina well done you for turning up for chemo after your rotten experiences so far.I am sure you will be fine now,hope Mary is ok.
Now baking I can do and I love it.I am not really very domestic but cakes,cookies,pies,scones ooohhhhh yes as that daft Churchill dog says.I am looking forward to November,wine,good food,good friends and some good conversation-a lot of laughing,maybe a few tears and finally to meet this amazing,brave,determined group of women.
Love Vxx

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Brilliant, great news, Martina!

Val, I think you have summed up the hopes for November rather neatly. And I’m pleased to hear that some of us do and love baking!

Off to bed now. Today was my birthday so I have had a round of emails, sms and phone calls this evening. More celebrating at the weekend…

Eliza xx

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Morning everyone…:smiley:

Eliza - Happy Birthday for yesterday!!! :smiley:

Martina - Glad to hear that you are finished with chemo…:smiley:

Theresa

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Morning all,

Didnt post on here yesterday, my eyes were very sore. They still are today, last annoying SE of taxotere. They should be back to normal next week sometime. I have appointment at hospital today when hopefully will find out when my rads start, i am a bit in limbo not knowing. I cant book a holiday, i cant give a definite date for back to work.

Talking about work, noticed lots of philosophical discussions going on yesterday. Although i would say i was under quite a bit of stress in the term before i was diagnosed, i do wonder how much was to do with BC. I was extremely tired all the time and that could have been a symptom. At the moment i am looking forward to going back and a new class.

On subject of doctors and consultants, personally i have preferred female doctors to males and in my experience (very much in my experience) the male doctors have not told the truth or skirted around issues. The females have been straight down the line.
I still wonder how they got it so wrong when they told me after viewing ultrasound and CT scans that it was highly unlikely i had any lymph node involvement only to be told after op that 19/24 were.
This, of course, affects my prognosis statistically. I try not to dwell on it, but its there at the back of my mind.

I dont feel stronger physically and mentally. Mentally, i know i will be on my guard for the forseeable future. Physically, although i have been overweight for a couple of years, i was fit where i went to gym regularly. Lost a lot of that now and the lymphoedema doesnt help. Breast cancer has been horrible for me, it has not made me a better or stronger person. The only thing it has made me is more knowledgeable about this brutal disease.

I expect i will be told whether i will be starting tamoxofen or arimidex today. As i was on cusp of menopause, they did some hormone tests last time to determine. Sorry to sound so self indulgent and depressing but this is another set of possible se’s to deal with.

Like all of us, i am hoping that in a year or so time, i look back on this as a distant memory. That i am back to fitness, slim and healthy and glad to be alive. I am clinging to that hope, it keeps me going.

On happier note, well done to the others who join me at the end of the chemo finishing line. Oh and had a great meal with husband and son for anniversary. Lovely Indian meal, enjoyed every bit of it.

Linda

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Morning all…Oh Eliza you should have mentioned your birthday yesterday…but happy birthday for then and upcoming celebrations! When I had my birthday a couple of weeks ago…I thought of it as a new beginning…
Morning Theresa, Val and Linda… Thats what we are here for Linda…to listen and to say how we feel in turn…Linda re Arimidex, I’ve just been on it 5wks now…think my hair is thinning out a bit, when I was in the shower more than usual came out, but not hugely, but that is just one side effect…no more as yet!! Hope your chemo eyes get better soon.

Mary lie in, rest up and kick the SE into touch…great stuff
Martina…brilliant, another chemo babe crosses the ribbon!! Now very soon you all will be able to start planning your lives again!!
Good luck with your chemo this morning Di…and to other hangover chemo babes.
Morning Rose …hope all is healing well with you.

Well it all sounds good for November doesn’t it!..we seem to have a plethora of bakers in our midst…no not me…I’m quite happy to nibble away at others offerings…will have to think of something different mmmmmmmmmmmm cocktails methinks!!!

Well got the plastic surgeon to see this afternoon…then I can enjoy the weekend…hope the weather is better than it is right now!

Helenxxx

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Hi all again

On a much lighter note, today is supposed to be the happiest day of the year…

Made me chuckle.

Linda

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Morning all,

Happy Birthday for yesterday Eliza!

Congratulations to all of you who are coming to the end of chemo at last, how good must that feel?!

I have the sore eyes too Linda - it seems to be a common problem across a lot of the different chemo. I feel like Benny Hill the amount of blinking I’m doing!

Hope all goes well with your Onc visit today Helen and you have you notes at the ready. I’m off at 9 to have my 3rd TAC, I’m already feeling sick at the thought of having an ice lolly, how weird.

I made a lovely chocolate sponge and some very sticky flapjacks yesterday so so the cake tins should be bulging for the Big Meet!

Well must dash and tidy myself up, hugs to all and speak soon,

Love Di xxx

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Morning

Have fun with your dreamy consultant today Helen.

Hey Martina, what good news! No more chemo. You did kiddo! I’m due to start my penultimate round next week (2 injections). Woke up today with a strange lump at my chemo arm elbow when I twist my arm out the way, and pain down the forearm, although the more I stretch it the more the pain is going, but not the lump. Trying to get hold of someone to have a look at it as I’m sure putting the constrictor thing on wouldn’t be a good idea at this point. Thinking about it, I had my blood pressure taken earlier this week and it started to get sore after that. Hmm, will hopefully work out what it is in the course of the day.

Eliza, Happy Birthday!

Linda, that eye thing is a pain isn’t it. I get it second into third week after the dose. Glad you had a great meal out. A good indian meal is so satisfying. :slight_smile:

Val, zegactly!

Di, best of luck. Vibing on all fronts for you. You’re getting through it. :slight_smile:

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Thanks, everyone!

Good luck for today, Di. And also for your appointment, Helen.

I’ve noticed a lot of people were very tired just prior to dx, Linda. I think there is a thread about that somewhere. I’m sure that being tired that term wouldn’t have helped stresswise.

The nodes thing is difficult. They seem to say likely involvement if the physical exam or scans show them to be swollen, otherwise unlikely. Perhaps the amounts in your nodes were too small to have caused swelling???

Eliza xx

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Oh, forgot - if it is tamoxifen you get, Linda, my experience is annoying but do-able!

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Morning!

Well, to say I felt ever so slightly patronised…! Not overly impressed with quality of occupational health nurse…

First of all - phone call was 50 minutes late, “sorry, something important came up” - well, OK, fine, but not good start.

Very generic questioning, and rather too keen to give me her (limited) advice. Mentioned the peeling skin post rads…had I thought about using cream on it?! Explained I struggled to wear bras due to said peeling skin, but without a bra, the lack of support made the actual breast tissue painful. And she said…had I thought of wearing crop tops? - Gently pointed out that at 34G, or even GG, depending on style - crop tops were really not an option…

And the tiredness…was I getting enough sleep??! Was I eating a healthy diet? Did I take a little gentle exercise every day…Apparently, it is very important for me to “build up my resiliance by daily increasing my exercise” Well, no sh*t Sherlock!!! Who would have thought?!

I told her, that before and throughout this whole episode, including the first 2/3rds of rads, I have kept cycling, walking, riding and generally doing as much as I felt was right for me at the time. And that I was sure that this lack of energy was “normal” as a reaction to the cumulative effects of rads, and a general phycological reaction to the previous 6 months. (Kind of thought that should have been her line…?)

Anyway, silly little me, obviously need to be told how to manage my own body…she gave me a little plan to follow…
I have to get up and ready in the morning (yes - she actually said that!) then go for a (timed) 20 minute walk every morning.
Come back - rest - have some lunch, then do some activity in the afternoon…“potter in the garden, bake a cake”…

And gradually increase the exercise…to 3 walks a day…

Is it me?!..how the **** have I managed to get to 50 years old without being told this wisdom?!

There was me thinking I could spend the next 3 weeks lying in bed all day… then go back to full time work!

Think I’ll do it my way …start by mucking out 1 stable, build it up to 2…

Had to share! Basically, came to agreement that she would review me again in 3 weeks (can’t wait!) after I have seen oncologist and GP again, with a phased return planned when I’m ready.

Hey, Martina, good to see you again, well done on being finished, fantastic.
Good luck, Di, and Helen - hope you see your main man, very disappointing if they fobbed you of with a lesser mortal!

Happy Birthday, Eliza, and hi to everyone, have a good day,

Lizzie XX