Hi all,
was just wondering…
Today i have felt really positive, had half decent sleep last night, woke up as usual and ended up on sofa with tv for company, had full english breakfast as was starved (first full hot meal in days)
But… why is it that as night time comes i start to get the jitters and dread going to bed?
Does anyone else have this feeling? Am i being irrational?
Thanks
Val (slightly mad i think!)
xx
Hi Val,
So pleased you had a good meal. Hopefully this should help you feel a bit better.
Night time is awful isn’t it, too much time to think. As you’ve only just been dx you’re brain is probably going crazy and won’t settle. I’ve only very recenly been dx and everything seems to go at such a fast rate, tests, treatment.
One moment everything in life is normal…the next it’s been turned on it’s head. Stay calm, stay focussed, and as others will say…you will get through this. Try to eat, I know it’s difficult but this will help with your energy and stamina levels.
Good luck with your chemo (is it next week?) I start mine probably the week after.
Thinking of you, A xx
Hiya Val
What you’re going through is perfectly normal. I was diagnosed on 6th Dec last year and was in a complete fog for weeks. I couldn’t have my surgery until 5th January, so had to get through Christmas as well as I could. We decided not to tell our boys (3, aged 22, 19 and 10) until after Christmas as we didn’t want to ‘spoil’ things, so we just gritted our teeth and got on with it. Like everyone says, once your treatment starts and you have some sort of plan things will get easier, you just have to take one day at a time. Just go with the flow, if you feel good, enjoy it, if you feel like crying, then let it out - do whatever you need to get through (I found wine and chocolate helped lol). I’ve had my surgery, 6 months of chemo and 1 month of radiotherapy and can’t believe how quick it has gone, it’s not been easy but the good days far outnumber the bad and that mind numbing panic does go away honestly. You’ll be fine sweetie and we are all here for you, just yell when you need a hug.
Love Julie xxx
Hi all
I too have a long night ahead lying awake and thinking of it all i start chemo next thursday after being dx in august with 2 x grade 3 lumps had WLE + axillary clearance 17th sept, starting chemo next week then 5 weeks rads and 1yr herceptin feeling sorry for myself as i am suffering with swelling/fluid and had to be drained a few times and had antibiotics to be on the safe side (they dont want to delay chemo) hopefully things will settle down before thursday worst of all my partner is on nights so have only my poor old dog ( brad ) for company i suppose i will be on here for ages reading old posts and feeling sorry for myself ( i am not always a misery guts like this just now and again ) but at least you learn that your feelings are normal on this site…
MIZZY xxx
Thanks for the encouragement everyone,
Really bad night last night, woke up coughing, chest is a bit rattly and ache all over.
Obviously i think the worst, don’t we all?
I think because i am having chemo first and still have these horrid lumps lurking in my body i think everything is going to travel around my body while i wait for chemo.Then worry if i am ill i won’t get the chemo, it is a never ending circle of fear.
All you lovely people have been and are going through so much, i feel like a proper whinge bag.
Thanks for listening though 
love
Val x
hi val,
you are not a whinge bag…we’re all in this together and we’re always here for you.
i remember those long nights, used to go off to sleep then the gremlins came out and my mind was going wild, ended up down stairs watching rubbish tv, everything always seems worse at night, think its because you can’t talk to anyone, thats why this site is good, even if no ones around in the early hours, you can pour your heart out on here and someone will understand and try to help and support you as soon as possible.
you could always ask your gp for something to help you sleep…mine prescribed me sleeping tablets the day i was diagnosed…he knows me very well and obviously knew how i was going to react to the diagnosis.
take care
karen x
Thanks Karen,
It is so nice not to be alone in my thoughts.
Love n hugs
Val
x