Stressing for my wife

Hiya,

 

my wife has “changed” in her attitude towards the family and myself the last week or so. Asked what was the matter, after denials etc she finally broke down and told me she had seen the GP as she felt a painful lump in her breast and they referred her to hospital for a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy on the same day.

 

when I asked her why she didn’t tell me before, she said that I had enough on my plate worrying about work and my own health (I have a pulse of chemo / rituximab every six months for a long term health condition which I have had for the last twenty years)

 

i have told her not to be stupid and I am here for her regardless. She’s started opening up about it now and we go for the Investigations on Monday after this weekend.

 

i have asked her how she feels in herself and she is convinced that although there’s no history of BC in her family, she has felt very tired and lethargic for the last couple months, simple tasks wipe her out. She has a feeling of “disaster” and it’s all going wrong

 

obviously I shall support her through thick and thin, but what should I expect at the Investigations? When I went for my ultrasound the technician could spot straight away what the issue was before the biopsy, will that be the same Monday or will she need the biopsy and the agonising two week wait before confirmation?

 

is there anything we can do, diet or supplement wise to prepare her for potential future treatment? For example for me, we do small calorie dense meals as I lose my appetite so only eat little bits. 

 

I just want to get ready and help her as much as she has me. Richer or poorer, sickness or in health - I made that contract with her 22 years ago and I will keep it. Any advice welcomed

Hi Meekle,

You sound like a brill husband btw. 

Your wife’s response is not unsual, there’s quite a few ladies here who’ve felt they’ve wanted to protect loved ones. 

Try not to jump ahead too much & see what happens at the appointment. It is a common referral, as any breast change can only be checked out at the clinic & fortunately, the vast majority do not turn out to be anything serious. 

If it’s not clear what it is at ultrasound, then a biopsy will be taken & then there is a week or 2s wait for the results. It does not necessarily mean it’s bc if a biopsy is taken.

Sometimes, they can be fairly sure if it looks like bc & will say so, but from what I’ve seen here, that’s not usual. In my case, I was not given an indication at the appointment & it was confirmed by the biopsy results. Fortunately, mine was caught early & easily treated. 

As ever, it’s the uncertainty that can be so hard to handle. You’re doing all you need to for now, by being there for her. The rest will be sorted out shortly & the important thing is, she is being properly checked out. 

Hopefully all’s well, it usually is. 

If you want to, let us know what happens. 

ann x