Hi I am gutted after learning, 3 weeks ago, that my mum’s breast cancer has metastatised into her lung, liver and bones. She was 9 years clear (lump and lymph gland involvement originally) and I did not really understand that it may come back. I stupidly thought that after being clear 5 years she would be fine. There were no warning signs at all. I saw her 4 weeks before she had this pleural effusion of the lung and she looked tired but that was all. I now can not cope with this diagnosis. It has shocked my to the core and have sunk deep into depression as I can not cope with stressful job (teacher) and the fact my mum will now die from cancer!!! My parents also live 2 hours away and so it is not exactly easy to just pop in to see them. I feel so totally useless in every way. Just really need some advice as to how to get through this??? I have been off work for the last 2 weeks and all I can see is a black hole ahead if me. Anyone else feel the same?
Hi - I just joined yesterday as on Monday we found out that my mum has advanced breast cancer. She has had symptoms for 2 years and bascially just thought it would go away. She is in hospital at the moment - having a series of tests and then will bascially be let home under the care of her GP as there is absolutely nothing they can do for her - we will find out today the results of scans etc so that we have the full picture of what we are dealing with. It is hard when you live so far away - having to juggle time off work etc - I basically think I am surviving on pure adrenaline at the moment but I suppose as hard as it is you have to carry on - you will find the strength from somewhere. I truly sympathise with you.
Thanks BB. Sorry to hear about your mum. It is a cruel disease. I hope that you can find some help for you all with your mum at home and that they are able to keep her comfortable.
It’s also times like this that families really need to pull together. That us helping me and some good friends who know what I am going through. Good luck to you with your mum.
Dear BB
I am very sorry to read your post, I hope you will find the following information helpful:
Recent bereavement
Dealing with the loss of someone you love can be terribly difficult to cope with, and there is no ‘correct’ or ‘normal’ way to respond. Death may be a part of life and grieving a healthy response, but bereavement can be a frightening and profoundly distressing experience.
Breast Cancer Care does not specialise in supporting people through bereavement so below you’ll find links to organisations who do.
Experts say that while you’re grieving for someone, it’s important to do the following:
Look after yourself - remember to eat and rest, even if you don’t feel like it or can’t sleep.
Talk to people - about your feelings and about the person who has died.
Give yourself time and permission to grieve - it is normal and healthy to grieve.
Seek support and help if you need it - you don’t need to cope alone.
Cruse Bereavement Care can help and have a range of services cruse.org.uk/
NHS Bereavement Guide is a practical source of information gp-training.net/pal/mentalhealth/pdf/bereavement.pdf
My thoughts are with you all. X
So sorry to read your news, My thoughts are with you and your family XXX
Dear Josepina
I am sorry to read the news about your Mum, along with the support and care you will find here please do feel free to call our helpliners to talk things over, you will find a very good listening ear and emotional support, lines open today 9-5 and Saturday 10-2 (weekdays 9-5) on 0808 800 6000
Take care
Lucy BCC
Josepina… Thanks so much for your response. It really helps me to talk to other people who understand how I feel as like you I cry most days about the unfairness of the whole situation. I know that all lives come to end one day it’s just that my mum’s mum is 91 now and still going strong so it hardly seems fair that my mum had her first cancer aged 59 and now at 68 is coping with life threatening recurrences of it. Oh and to top everything off really nicely I have to go for a colposcopy on my cervix as my HPV virus has reared it’s ugly head again. So my mantra for 2014 is take each day as it comes and make the most of what time I can grab with both my mum and dad. So far I’m not doing too badly. I love my parents dearly and just want to help mum to try to keep her spirits up and make sure she is in no pain. Here’s hoping some chemo starting on 14th January will work some kind of miracle.