Hi all,
Had good news over the past week, onco score of 11 (i am 58), 5 days of radiotherapy not 15 or chemo, all this but why do I feel so upset, sad and scared.
Has anyone else felt like this, I feel dreadful today, I just want to hide away 
Thanks for reading
Take care all you lovely people
Xx
I had my post op appointment a couple of weeks ago, it was all positive news, clear margins, negative sentinel node biopsy. My husband was very reassured, I came out feeling worse than when I went in !!!
Not sure if itās because I knew chemo was the next bit or because the surgeon rushed me and shut me down without responding properly to all my questions.
Anyway, what should have been good news made me feel awful, stressed and anxious.
I went on to query the wording on the pathology report and because it delayed my chemo, eventually went to PALS and kicked off big time about the time scales.
Pretty rubbish couple of weeks, hopefully better once I get my bum in the chemo chair !!!
Oh Jackie
Iām so sorry to read this. Youāve been bloody awesome all this time, and you whelped me enormously. I canāt thank you enough 
You have a bright future ahead, all will be well, but you are still facing a horrible diagnosis, as we all are on here, and it would be odd if we didnāt lose it every so often 
Itās like youāve been holding your breath and finally youāve had to let it all out.
Interestingly I am also having the biggest meltdown Iāve had, since this all started three months ago, right now. I can barely see my eyes Iāve lost it so badly. I canāt stop crying. I too want to dig a hole, climb in and never come out.
This is all the stranger because Iāve had a lovely day out with my adult kids and son-in-law today, and itās made me so upset for some reason. I can see what Iām putting everyone through, and feel so guilty. I feel like I am a pain in the neck.
So I came on here and searched āemotionsā and here amongst all the cries for help was your message, my Mx twin! Itās all so hard isnāt it, and we are bound to have bad days. Bloody breast cancer.
Youāre right to express your emotions and I think everyone reading your message will totally understand. I hope you get some sleep and feel a bit better in the morning.
Iām sending you a virtual hug 
and lots of love 
Karen xxx
I absolutely relate to how you feel. I consider myself a positive person most of the time ans I know things could be so much worse but sometimes I just want to rant and scream about how unfair it is I have to go through this! It comes out of nowhere sometimes and itās really confusing. It does help seeing that other people feel this way and we can just be open and honest about these feelings on this forum x
Hi 
! I am so happy for you that, within all this scary diagnosis, results have come out with a better outcome and minor treatment. Yet, it can be (I am not a psychologist) that the way the Dr treated you has affected you. I would report him/her to your breast cancer nurse. My first oncologist was an āā¦ā. He was awful. I kept being kind until I couldnāt anymore by the end of my 5 months of chemotherapies (EG and Taxol). When I asked my breast cancer team for a change, the one attending me said that I had remained longer than others and that his case was well known. He had āimprovedā from how he was before. I asked if he couldnāt follow up some patient-Dr communication workshop but I was told he would retire soon (heās still there after 2 Ā½ yearsā:roll_eyes:). Heās the Head of the multidisciplinary Breast Cancer Clinic. The new oncologist has been better. I wish Drs would put themselves in our shoes but not even family and friends can understand it 100% even when they try their best. Thatās why itās good to have this fellow survivor groups to support each other and know that we can do this together. I wish you all the best and enjoy the good news. Go out with your loved ones and celebrate.
I think your absolutely right about the teams attitude. I just havenāt felt anyone cares about what happens to me. Even if resources are tight a little compassion and empathy would really help. Iāve literally come across staff who I canāt understand why they came into healthcare
I have, I expect, incredibly high standards, having worked in healthcare all my life, I am so sad and disappointed that at one of the worse situations in my life there has been so little care and compassion shown to me. To make it worse itās the trust I worked for, for 25 years
Keep positive. Hopefully you can also find similar spirited colleagues that will help you in your journey. My 1st oncologist was the only one that behaved like that. I am thankful for the rest of the team and kind support staff.
Good news @chillout365. I know how you feel about feeling emotional after good news. I feel that sometimes we build ourselves up to hear bad news and then when it is good, all of that expectation doesnt turn into relief, instead it just collapses. You will probably feel better when its all sunk in a bit. You still have a way to go, so be kind to yourself. X