I needed to write a message to people that will understand this. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2021. I had a mastectomy and reconstruction, and had six rounds of chemo this year. The problem is I was in Year 2 of a Physiotherapy degree when I got diagnosed, and I had to suspend and I have just started back there.
I thought it would be ok, but cancer and breast cancer has already been mentioned, alongside where it can spread to. As far as I know I am ok now, and am having Goserelin shots to bring on the menopause (I am 48) and Anastrozole to lower my oestrogen. The thing is I woke up from a nightmare last night at 5am in pieces as I dreamt I was terminally ill with cancer.
I really do not know if I can handle this anymore…anyone else been through this please? Thank you x
In my experience, time is what is needed to convince yourself that you’ve left the cancer behind. It’s hard to look back and see how lucky you’ve been. The important thing is that you look forward. This article was posted by one of the nurses a few years ago and, dated though it is, its wisdom is spot on :
I think you should speak to your tutor and explain your situation and reactions. It certainly sounds like you need to talk about this and turn it to your advantage. I’ve been approached by physiotherapy students who’ve decided to focus on cancer patients so why not consider how you might use your experience to help others once you’ve qualified. I have to say that, if I had a physio who’d experienced a mastectomy and the muscle and neuropathic pain that it can cause, it would make me feel less of a wuss when I wince!
I have Stage 4 TNBC. I decided there was no point in worrying about something I could do nothing about. It’s worked for the past 18 months, assisted by a daily visit to YouTube, where I plug into one of Progressive Hypnosis’s videos (mostly focusing on diaphragmatic breathing and visualisations). I have a little box somewhere in my mind where the scary stuff gets packed away after due consideration - relevant to now or not? - and I generally feel at peace with my condition. You can’t help panicking, certainly can’t prevent nightmares (which rarely mean what they seem to mean) but you can learn to change perspective and that can bring peace of mind.
I hope you do find peace of mind. There is life after cancer. There’s also life with cancer. I guess it just needs working on so you learn that death isn’t the inevitable outcome? All the best
Well done to you for training as a physio! I too had a lumpectomy and node removal in Oct/nov 21 now on letrozole for 5 years (but I’m 77) -all clear, but like you read about secondary bc which can be all over the place! I had to stop hrt cold turkey after my diagnosis too! These eruptions elsewhere though , although are still bc won’t kill you it seems, but can be treated not cured. I’m thinking why me, but as the support is there for us, I try not to worry and get on with life. I was told at the outset I would probably die with it rather than from it! Gee, thanks for that! What has amazed me is the sheer number of women diagnosed! And of all ages! Breastfeeding it seems is not the safety net we were told it was back in the day either! Stay positive- you know what I mean + and concentrate on finishing your training! Xx