Hello - first post after a number of weeks just reading!
Keeping my story as succinct as possible but it’s a bit long winded!
I had an infection August 23 which was treated with antibiotics but left me with a hardness and achy breast. This was checked with a mammogram and I was told all clear. 2 months later I was still achy with my hard area but also developed clear nipple discharge. 2 more mammograms and ultrasounds and still sent away being told all ok and was just scar tissue. Finally got a consultant to take a sample of the discharge and it came back with abnormal cells. Was told it was likely a papilloma and advised to have a total duct excision to stop symptoms. Had the surgery in May and a long 5 weeks wait for results to then be told they had found intermediate grade DCIS.
Advised another op needed to remove more including a deep cavity shave and full nipple and areola removal which would then likely be followed by radiotherapy. I had that surgery in July and have just had my results a little over 6.5 weeks later. Been told my superior margin is not enough so going back under again!
I was 39 at the start of this and have just turned 40, primary school teacher with two children of my own.
So far I’ve just got on with it, had 3 weeks off school after first op and 2 weeks after second op but other than that have worked between etc.
I wasn’t expecting and really didn’t want another operation under a general, I was all geared up and ready to face the next step but now feel like it’s all hit me and starting to get very overwhelmed.
I know my diagnosis is minor compared to many and feel a fraud for even posting this considering what others are going through but I’ve woken up today and just feel floored by it all of a sudden. The summer holidays are about to be over (of which I’ve spent the whole time on edge waiting for results) and I’m due back to work with all this continuing and I just feel so overwhelmed
Well done on posting here @angharad, you are in exactly the right place. Everyone on here has their own story, some similar but none identical so comparisons aren’t a particularly helpful thing to beat yourself up over. For example, I had an invasive ductal carcinoma with a bit of DCIS involved but I had clear margins first go - so whose experience was better? The point is you’ve been thrown into a situation that you didn’t choose, that you only have limited control over and, during which, you have a job and a family that you have a responsibility toward. You have every right to have some down time, we can’t be brave and stoic all of the time. But I bet you’ll rally for the next op, because it is the next positive step towards this malarkey being over. My advice would be to have a chat with one of the lovely nurses on 0808 800 6000 because they don’t judge, they don’t hurry you, they have seen it and heard it all before, you can say whatever you like, have a good cry if you want one and I guarantee you’ll feel better for having actually spoken to someone who gets it. I expect they’ll be some ladies along soon who had multiple surgeries to get clear margins who can empathise with you too. In the meantime, post here as much as you feel the need to do - your experience is as valid as anyone else’s. Fingers crossed for this to be in the rear view mirror very soon.
Please please please don’t ever feel like a fraud, how a BC diagnosis affects you emotionally and psychologically is not dependent on the size of your tumour or your treatment plan.
I can very much relate to the sudden feeling of being overwhelmed by it all, as it hit me like a brick wall. I lost my dad in quite traumatic circumstances when I was 13, so for most of my life I’ve felt like nothing would ever hit me as hard as that did: how wrong was I??
It was at this point, I joined the forums and went to my local Maggie’s who were and are amazing. There really is no substitute for talking to others “who just know” as unfortunately as much as friends and family support us, unless you’ve been through a cancer diagnosis it’s very hard to understand.
Hi @angharad,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’ve been on quite the rollercoaster The last few months must have been psychologically exhausting and confusing, not to mention the physical effects. It sounds like you’re doing amazingly though
I was also diagnosed aged 39, this March, and had a mastectomy and reconstruction in May. I also work in a primary school (as a TA) and know how disruptive it can feel. I’ve been off since just before my op, and was hoping to go back as normal in September. However, I’ve got to have three weeks of radiotherapy, starting next week. I was really trying to psych myself up for being back at work, as I feel pretty out of it after being off for so long, but now won’t be able to start back properly until the end of September Thankfully, work have been really supportive, but I just wanted to start this academic year normally. Don’t want to complain though, I know I’m very fortunate, but just want you to know you’re not alone. Have work been helpful during your treatment so far? Sending strength your way x
Thank you for your lovely replies - they really helped.
I had a call this afternoon with a date for my third surgery (two weeks time) and had a long chat with my GP who has advised I don’t go back to work next week but wait until I’ve got through and recovered from this next operation. I think I’ve underestimated the psychological effect all this has had on top of 3 ops in as many months.
Tomorrow is another day
Work have been great so far but as I’m sure you know working in a school you just can’t help but feel guilty when you’re not there. I hate feeling like I’m letting people down or causing more work for others but I also know that I need to think about myself and my family and take the time I need to have the energy and determination to get through this.
Good luck with the radiotherapy, I hope it all goes well x
@angharad
Speaking as a previous head of (primary) it’s much better that you don’t try to go back before you’re ready. It’s not something you can just dip in and out of easily so put yourself first for now and then when you’re ready it will be better for both yourself and the children. Good luck
The last few months must have been psychologically exhausting and confusing, not to mention the physical effects. It sounds like you’re doing amazingly though 
Thankfully, work have been really supportive, but I just wanted to start this academic year normally. Don’t want to complain though, I know I’m very fortunate, but just want you to know you’re not alone. Have work been helpful during your treatment so far? Sending strength your way x