Hi all you lovely ladies
I gave just been diagnosed and go for my ‘results’ appointment Wednesday, they have suggested I bring someone with me to help remember all the info. I don’t have a partner, or any family close enough to be able to come with me.
I wondered if anyone has any suggestions as to who best to ask to come with me to this?
Its all a bit daunting atm.
Thanks
Ange
Hi Ange,
Its a difficult situation if you live alone, without a partner and family close-by. Its daunting enough when you have people around you, let alone when you find yourself feeling even more alone. I would firstly suggest that for your general support you consider using the ‘someone like me’ service which is run by Breast Cancer Now, but of course that doesn’t help with the daily ups and downs and support you will need. You can take anybody with you, do you have a friend who would attend this with you ? Taking notes is a good idea, so that person could just be there to log the information for you. There will be a Breast Cancer Nurse present in the meeting, who will continue to support you during the ongoing process, so it won’t just be you and the consultant - if you really find there is nobody around you who you feel you can take, then you could ask them to write notes for you ?
I have another suggestion, and I don’t see why this couldn’t be possible but I don’t know how the BCNurse and Consultant would feel about it - and if its something they have already had to do during covid anyway. What about involving a close family member, who could just listen to your meeting, via a video call on something like whatsapp. Its not something that I have heard of happening, but I honestly don’t see why in this modern era it shouldn’t happen and may be worth asking the BCN about in advance. Explain the situation and see what she/he thinks.
Charys x
Hi Ange
I’m sorry you’ve got additional problems - the diagnosis is hard enough to get your head round.
A friend accompanied me. I chose her simply because she lived near the hospital. I could drive to hers, take a sedative and then go back to hers till it wore off and I was safe to drive home! In fact, she sat quietly to the side and took detailed notes of everything said. It would never have occurred to me. But it’s important because, although you are listening and hear every word, emotions interfere and you’ve forgotten everything by the time you get home.
An alternative, if you have a mobile phone and there is no one to accompany you, is to ask if you can record the session. This is becoming increasingly common as technology develops.Another alternative is to ask the breast care nurse if she would take notes for you.
It’s a strange world you are entering, often lonely as, with covid restrictions still in force in hospital, you generally have to go on in your own but I have found throughout my whole experience, that the hospital staff have bent over backwards to accommodate my needs, even to giving me my first IV treatment in a side room as I’m phobic and didn’t wish anyone to witness me having a panic attack. I didn’t have one of course, partly because the process was so simple and the nurse so reassuring, but also because my oncologist prescribed lorazepam to take beforehand. It was miraculous. I just felt normal and felt everything was doable.
So, whatever the outcome, my advice is always assert yourself to ensure your needs are met. I hope your results are ‘good’ but if you need the full works, don’t ever worry about being a fussy patient if you need support because you won’t be! Best of luck
Jan x
I did not have anyone to come with me but my breast care nurse was lovely, she came in with me (which I think they do anyway) then afterwards she took me into a side room, asked if I was ok and then explained to me a more gentle way in which I could take it all in more, she gave me time to digest it all - plus she said I could always contact her and ask any questions once it had all sunk it.
If I had have had anyone they could not have come with me as my diagnosis was during lockdown.
I managed (case of having to I expect) one thing cancer has taught me is how to be strong.
I did find all of the cancer diagnoses overwhelming at first, but as I went through each stage it all came together I tried not to overload myself with too much at any one time (plus the ladies on here helped with any questions I had).
I wish you all the best just an idea but could you record on your phone some of the info you are being given?
Large Hugs
Poppy xx