i had been diagnosed with having stage 1 breast cancer and have had surgery and sentinel node biopsy which showed that the cancer had spread t my lymph glands but it was slow growing apparently rare in my age group(48) I am now awaiting my first chemo which is the treatment A on the tact 2 trial only a week to go Iam a little apprehensive about it all as you can expect and trying to keep an open mind only thing that worries me is I have no family except my 6 kids who i cant rely on I have no partner so support will be scarce maybe iam here to look for friends and hope to get inspiration from those already going through the same and help would be appriciated thank you
Hi Joanne
So sorry that you have had to join us here. That said, if you came looking for support - you will definitely get it - I know I did. I was diagnosed last Nov, aged 46, with Grade 3 invasive breast cancer, lymph node involvement and her2+++ - so it was quite aggressive.
At the time I thought I would never cope - especially when they laid out my treatment before me, mastectomy, lymph node clearance,…4 x chemo, 20 x radiotherapy, 4 x chemo and a year of herceptin - it seemed to stretch in front of me forever.
However - 6 months on, I have completed all my chemo (just finished last week) and my radiotherapy - and am going to see my oncologist tomorrow to sort out starting the herceptin any time soon. I am (or should that be was!) a complete wimp where anything medical was concerned - but I have got through it and if I can anyone can!. I won’t lie - sometimes it isn’t nice and sometimes you will feel like hite - but you do get through it - it is do-able, as the other people on here will tell you.
I’m sorry that you don’t have too much support at home - you don’t say whether your kids are still at home, but if they are, they may surprise you - and if they don’t surprise you - all you have to remember at the end of the day is that this is about you NOT them - you just have to do what feels right for you - if the chemo makes you tired - go to sleep and let them get their own meals or whatever. If you wanna scream scream as loud as you like - they’ll have to get used to it!!
I truly hope everything goes ok with your first chemo - please come back and let us now how you get on. There are several threads (discussions) on here - under the ‘Undergoing treatment:Chemotherapy’ heading that give some excellent advice on coping with the side effects of the chemo.
Good luck & take care - and remember there is always someone here when you want to rant/let off steam. have a moan/ share a joke…whatever…
Margaret x
Thank you Margaret you brought tears to my eyes I think the problem lie in the fact that I have brought the six of them up on my own so mums not suppose to be ill they think this is just like a bad dose of the flu and its not that bad as I was back to “normal” 3 days after my surgery even though I was still in a lot of pain I have 2 kids still live with me and they other 4 stay close by ( my daughter 29 next door) but the next day after my surgery I had agonising pains in my stomach and it took me 2 hours to get help from them even though my son was only downstairs with his phone switched off I could even call out. which resulted in me getting rushed into hospital with Gallstomes now I’m terrified that if something serious happens there will be no one around to help me have tried to explain that I wont need them there 24/7 but as long as they keep there phones on it would help just in case. Fingers crossed
Oh Joanne - I’m sure as time goes by they will realise the effects that all the treatment will have on you. There are several really good publications available from this website that set out what to expect - perhaps it may be worth ordering some of these and leaving them about for them to read? (I did - and nobody read them but hey ho!)
I have my hubby - who is reasonably good on a practical level and worse than useless on an emotional level - he’s one of the ‘it’ll be okay’ brigade - so as it’s ‘going to be ok’ he doesn’t need to talk about it lol - sometimes forgets that maybe I need to talk and discuss things. I also have 2 kids, one of 21 who’s left home but still lives in the same town as me. She tends to bury her head in the sand - her father died when she was 9 of lung cancer and I think she just can’t face the possibility of losing her mum too! Again - she’s good on a practical level but not emotional support. She’s getting married in 10 weeks so has enought to occupy her mind anyway! I also have a 10 year old - who has taken it all reasonably in her stride - and behaved like a 10 yr old - asking outright if I’m gong to die and whether dad will get married again lol - sometimes refreshing - sometimes a bit too much haha!
I was pretty much the same - ‘back to normal’ very quickly after surgery and doind everything I would normally do - but only because that’s how I am - I’m very independent and do not like having to ‘lean’ on anyone. However, I soon learned (after over exerting myself once too often) that you can’t carry on like this - you have to give in to the tiredness and the sheer fatigue sometimes - this is when you will need help. If you don’t get it on a practical level - don’t worry about it - bit of dust/no housework done/ hunger (for them) won’t hurt them!
You perhaps need to put a system in place for if you are ill or needing assistance - and insist they stick to it. At the very least make sure you always have the numbers for your breast nurse and the out of hours service/NHS 24. I know people knock NHS 24 sometimes - but I have used them every time I have got infections with chemo - and they have had a doc to me within the hour or me to hosp within the hour so don’t be afraid to use them.
You will be surprised where you get your strength from - and hopefully, as you say, fingers crossed, your kids will surprise you too!!
Forgot to say - I’ve ‘bumped’ up the ‘Top tips going through chemo’ discussion for you just in case you think it may help. It’s in the Undergoing Treatment - Chemotherapy section
thanks magz i have read them and took onboard some good ones