Supporter of Relative with BC

Friends and family Supporting someone with breast cancer
1

Hi

Ok the story is that before xmas my mum was diganosed with BC. Good news is that it has been dignosed and a treatment plan has been layed out. Whilst the news of that she had BC was beening said, the look on my mums face said it all, shock, horror and being terrifed all at once. She stayed silent whilst the BC nurse when through all of the family/medical history stuff, whilst I her daughter broke down and cried. After a few cups of tea in the hospital cafe, the thought of what was to come over the next few months was main part of our discussion.

The thing is that over the next few days, it felt that there was a constant stream of letters and appointments were appearing. The only thing that did not arrive or I have failed to find is a booklet that tells you what to expect. Not just the medical side-effects from the treatment, but what scans, tests. It was during one of the scans that I was talking to a nurse that there should be a form of I-spy book for people dignosed with BC, where you can see what you are expected to go through, see and do. Then tick off what you have done. You can then show it to everybody who ask you why you look so tired or have not been around.

So far I have taken and sat with my mum through the following treatments, apart from the inital dignoses meetings X3 ish, 2x scans (bone and blood system version) and 1st session of Chemo.

I have found this site fantastic source of information. Whilst telling my work colleges and bosses that my Mum had BC and that I may need to take her to appointments. I was initally unware of how many appointments were involved.

The question is does anybody else feel that they are or have been overwhelmed with what happens,(not just the mental/emotional side)as soon as the BC word is mentioned.

As I have been fortunate to attend all of my mums appointments with her, I have often felt that the medical staff seems to assume that you know what tests and appointments you are going to have. On the positive side, I have found this site with people who are going through the same or similar treatment that my mum is going through. People are willing to openly talk about the side-effects so I know what is to come, so I can get not just the house ready, but myself mentally pre-paired as well.

Keep up the good work folks :slight_smile:

Whitecoat.

2

Whitecoat, what a lovely supportive daughter you are! Thank you for being there for your mum, I’m sure she’s really glad of your support.

Don’t forget about yourself though. Being the main supporter can be a heavy burden too, so make sure you look after yourself, and if possible find someone YOU can offload onto.

You might also find the hospital provides support services to BC patients’ supporters too, so take a look and find out what’s on offer. (I saw a link to The Haven, a BC charity, that supports supporters. If you live in the vicinity of one, you and your mum might want to go along to a session together, they sound really positive.)

I LOVE the idea of an Eye-Spy book - you could publish it and make a small fortune!

As for the site, don’t forget that you might not get both sides of the story in quite the right measure, as by the very nature of humans we often complain about stuff that’s not going well (e.g. side-effects, feeling crappy, and this is a very safe site for letting go of frustrations with treatment) but we just get on with it when things are going well and the side-effects are few or very bearable. So your mum might not find things quite as bad as you sometimes read on here. By saying that I’m not belittling at all the people who have bad SEs here, just saying that not everyone is quite so unlucky.

Best wishes to you and your mum, and do keep coming back to chat and off-load.