We have been best friends from the very beginning, our mums went to Antenatal clinic together, we were born exactly a month apart.
We have been through each other’s ups and downs and I couldn’t wish for a better friend which makes what’s happening all the more devastating.
In 2009 she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I was gutted, I lost my mum to Cancer in 2005 and my friends diagnosis broke my heart, I was terrified I was going to lose her too. Thankfully after Radiotherapy, Medication which was gruelling for her she came through, on top of that her partner had also had a Cancer diagnosis. How these two got through it I was so proud of them and thankfully her parter too got the all clear after treatment.
A few days ago I received a message from my friend telling me she really needed to tell me some bad news, bless her she was more concerned for my wellbeing as I have Epilepsy and she wanted to make sure that I wasn’t alone and that my partner was with me as I would need support. What she told me absolutely destroyed me, she had been diagnosed with Secondary Bone Cancer in her spine, with suspicious marks on her lung (not confirmed as C). I couldn’t believe how she was ensuring I was ok when she was the one with this horrible news.
Ever since I’ve been reading up on all the various symptoms, treatments etc based on what the Drs had told her as I want to be as clued up as possible so I wasn’t bombarding her with questions and also to try and understand what is going to happen.
I want to support her and her partner and family, but at the same time do my very best along with our other friends to ensure her spirits are lifted and she is able to enjoy her life as much as possible despite this horrible cruel diagnosis.
I’m broken, I can’t get my head round it, I can’t stop thinking why? Why her, she is amazing never done anything to deserve it and at 37years old this just is no age to have to face this.
I just wish there was something I can do, I feel helpless, I love her to bits and I protect those I love but I can’t protect her from this!
We went out for a meal with a group of friends tonight and we had a fab night and laughed so much from start to finish, and I aim to have many more times like this.
I find my self just saying the same thing like I’m here for you, anything you need just text or call and I’m there, I feel like I’m just saying the same thing, but I just don’t know what else to do.
Sorry for the huge post I would appreciate any advice or likewise if anyone is in the same situation I am here to support and share thoughts with.
You are all amazing I wish everyone the very best no matter what part of your lives are affected by this evil disease.
Much Love Sam x
Hello sam1404,
What a lovely friend you are and how lucky she is to have you. You are doing exactly the right thing for your friend and letting her know that you are always there is the best gift you can give her. Have a look on the Secondaries board. There will be lots of advice for you on there. I hope your friend’s treatment is kind to her and that she can enjoy many more years with you and her family. Best wishes xx Lily
Hi Sam,
So sorry to hear about your friend, it certainly feels so unfair that this should happen.
I am not in your situation, but from what you’ve already posted, you clearly are an amazing friend who will be there for her.
It is a blow when this happens, but having read posts on here, there are quite a few ladies on here who have lived with secondary disease for years, who are getting on with life & treatment is getting better all the time.
Wishing you & your friend all the very best.
ann x
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I have been to a couple of hospital appointments with her and she starts Radiotherapy in Feb, there are a couple of possible other avenues which we are looking at.
I will look at the Secondary board thanks for that idea, as I said before I want to learn as much as I can do I can help her as much as possible.
Much love. Sam x