Hi everyone my daughter is recently diagnosed and has just had her 1st chemo. As a mum I keep feeling useless and want to do more, I am cleaning and flushing her Picc for her, keep baking for the family and call all the time but don’t feel that is enough. Are there any other mothers feeling the same ??
Hi Sue. I am sorry I am not coming at you from a mum point of view but as a daughter who has recently been diagnosed. My mum has always been the type not to show her emotions and at the minute is going through the house sale of my 95 year old grandma who has had to move into a home. Last week two days after I had surgery she was offered the chance of a lift to Peterborough where I live from Leicestershire where she lives along with the rest of my family. It was my dad and step mum offering, no issues there they always come together. I was devastated as she said no cos she was having her hair permed!!! They did come over call together on Saturday though. It really depends on your daughter’s situation. Does she have a family? My biggest support has been my daughter who is 18. I would love my mum to do what you’re doing but can understand how you feel it isn’t enough. As a mum we always want to make things easier for our kids no matter how old they are. We will always feel we never do enough.
Ask her if there’s anyway you could help eg doing her washing and ironing. Maybe as she gets further into her treatment and finds out how it leaves her feeling it will be more obvious how you can help. Hugs to you as it must be a dreadful shock to you too xx
Hi Sue, me too are coming from the daughter point of view and wish Imhad a mother like you. I was diagnosed March 2014 and had surgery, chemo, more surgery and then radiotherapy. my parents came to see me twice from March to September. When I went to see them in September when my husband drove me (Leicestershire to Manchester) my dad said they had started to watch the Sheridan Smith film “the c word” and they felt as if they had let me down so much. Sorry but a bit late.
you are doing amazing just being there. Communication is key. My sister used to ring me everyday sometimes just to say hello and sometimes during my chemo there were days when I was so tired my mouth just wouldn’t work so it was just a hello I am ok speak soon.
if you download the c word from you tube the programme is an insight but from a patient point of view is only a percentage of what happens.
well done you for having a good relationship with your daughter - she is lucky.
i have an amazing husband and two beautiful daughters 27 and 30 who helped me get through by letting me be just me and accepting that mum may not be smiling today but she still loves her family.