My lumpectomy is booked for 15th July. I’m not as worried about the after and I expect to be sore etc. I’m just terrified of surgery. It’s getting me down and I have a week left to go. My brain goes to the terrible places of "what if’s … " and I find it hard to quieten these thoughts down. It’s the feeling of lack of control I hate, my life being in other people’s hands. I had a difficult childhood and find it hard to trust in others. Any words of wisdom or advice please? I’m not sleeping.
Hey LemonSqueezy ?? 
Try Fearne Cotton’s books Quiet, Calm and Happy. There’s lots of little exercises probs would go thro in that order xx Also Calm app is fab or it works for me short 10mins meditations and Jackanory story telling to help you nod off xx
Any surgery is daunting, I was agog at the detail my surgeon’s gone thro so far (SNB on 16th then MX & recon early Aug) I found myself asking if he could actually do it?? And without a pause, eye roll or snigger he simply looked me in the eye and kindly and confidently said ‘this is what I do’ those words calmed me.
We’ve got this, together ?? 
Trick xx
Hi Lemonsqueezy
I had my lumpectomy on the 13th July last year (in the pandemic).
Like you I was worried about surgery as at 54, had never been put under before and I did stop them before they put in the sedation to make sure there was no way I would wake up mid surgery - I can laugh now! The next thing I know I was coming round and I was desperate for a cup of tea.
I repeatedly told them I was anxious and everyone was lovely and reassuring.
I had a drain when I woke up which I had been warned about but I was well looked after and went home that evening (after more tea and toast).
I also understand the control thing - the weirdest part was being ‘out’ for 2 hours literally as it’s something you have no idea of what was happening but it was a nice sleep.
Good luck and please let us know how you are.
Louise xxx
Hello lemonsqueezy
I did lots of yoga breathing exercises - breathing down into the belly.
I also found Adriene yoga for anxiety on you tube to be really helpful. I‘m convinced this stopped me being nervous on op day.
When my children are nervous about things like vaccinations, I use lavender drops. Pop a few drops on a hanky and keep smelling it. Lavender candles or drops on an infuser are also good.
Play solitaire on your phone - it’s a good distraction
All the best to you
I hope your operation went well. And you are now at home recovering. I’m having a lumpectomy on 10th August. I’m nervous but know I’m in safe hands.
I had a hysterectomy in 2017 so I know how weird that feeling is when they put you under. It’s such a strange sensation. But it is an amazing sleep.
Lou x
Thank you so much to all of you with your practical, helpful support. I won’t lie, I was a mess on the day The staff were incredible and consoled and comforted me. My surgeon was also amazing. She held my hand and kept talking to me while the anaesthetist did his bit. I remember waking up crying saying “Am I okay?” all the time. I made the staff earn their wages that day I tell ya
But if I have to have any more surgery I won’t be as terrified. I’m a week post surgery now, my dressings were removed today and I’ve had hardly any pain at all.
Thank you lovely ladies x
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