Well ladies i’m up for organising a meet up at some point when we’ve all recovered. Get ur thinking caps on girls. Ideas welcome - day at the races, pamper day?? get thinking xxxx
Great did anyone say alone…? I feel i am not now with u ladies:-) anymore to join us for a meet up? Xxxx
Today I am feeling really slumped. The adrenaline is clearly starting to wear off. I am tired, although more in a mental way than physical. Body is doing fine. I am comfortable, no pain whatsoever. So why am I feeling so down? Is the coming down of all the drugs I’ve been given? Is it the stress? I wish I had followed Sharon’s advice and had been put on antidepressants. Maybe I should do it now.
Heart goes out to you Mael. Have to say i have been on citlopram since i was first dx. It has really helped. I was out and had a mild panic attack when awaiting surgery and i knew to go to my GP straight away. Never been on them before but have to say they have helped me cope. Remember we all live alone and are here to support each other. Only you know Mael if it would help you but i thought i would share my experience. Dee xxxxx
Take ur time Mael. I was eager to get back to work after surgery and it did me good but now im on rads im finding it difficult combining the two. Go easy on yourself and remember a few smokes now and again in the circumstances wont change much. Sorry i should be saying stop… But I believe in the old saying a little bit of what u fancy does u no harm:-) xxxxx
I’m a secondary school teacher so i have classes to cover also i have to travel to Chelsea each day for rads at The Royal Marsden my school is on the other side London so finding it a bit tough. Work is good and it does keep you going. But i have found recently that i’m finding it hard so will see how it goes. Actually today finding it abit emotional coming to end of treatment. Was talking to a toung guy who was having rads before me today. I said its only now that the enormity of what we all have been through is hitting me so its kind of ups and downs. And he really agreed as we havent had time to really cone to terms with this. Like feeling tearful. Is anyone else feeling like this? I know its normal and good but when u live alone its tough. Thanks girls for keeping me sane xxxxx
I too will raise a glass to you June for finishing your rads. So empathise with you and to the people who make u feel quilty for not wanting to do voluntary work as Clarke Gabel so famously said ’ Quite frankly darling I don’t give a damm!!! Think that should be pur new life mantra!!! Say inwardly to yourselves girls when someone bothers you with their mundane meanderings!!! And did u want to come to our meet up June or anyone else? Trying to sort out logistics for everyone. I finish rads on 29th June. Just knowing u girls are there makes all the difference xxxxx
Mael really feel for you i used to dread visits to hospital its the uncertainty. Now I feel differently and dont mind going up now every day for my rads. I now view the hospital as a safe and friendly place that saved my life. The Royal Marsden has a very welcoming atmosphere anyway and that has helped.
Felt a bit lonely this weekend though. I was staying with my aunt and cousins in Birmingham. I had a great time but all my cousins are married with kids. I couldnt help but envy them. I know its silly but it really got to me the loneliness. Obviously i didnt let it show. But u girls know what I mean. You keep me going!!! Just knowing other ladies are the same as me. Sending hugs xxxx Dee
Thanks Mael. Found that lady really funny too of the clip you posted. So identify with you and having friends leading busy lives. You develop your own inner strength and sense of calm i have found because we have too living alone facing this. We can’t go into meltdown because we havent got a choice. Really feel the isolation at times. But on the plus side us i have found that that same isolation makes me more calm and resilient to this further down the line.
Glad you’re a Londoner too Mael. Im South east London you’re a Westside girl!!! Sending hugs xxx did u say you were on for a future meet up too? X
Hi Ladies,
Speaking of slobbing round London i have got so used to slobbing round Chelsea its delightful. Had so many cups of tea!!! Us ladies are allowed to slob around!!!
Im en route to the hospital more tea vicar??? Have a nice dayxxxx. We must meet in London Mael 
xxxx
Hi Ladies,
Im not messing with you Sheena. In your job i bet your used to dealing with difficult inmates!!! Rads is ok think most of my tiredness is commuting to hospital rather than rads. But rad department turns into a bit of a social club you get used to seeing people each day. I’ve arranged with another young guy who 2 weeks in of 7 to go out for a pint Friday after rads. It does turn into the rads social club!!! Really wish u well with results. When do u get them? Xxxx
Wow Sheena, you must be a tough cookie indeed, as Dee says! I can’t help but at least mildly appreciate that this thing is getting me to know new and interesting people.
I went to work and it was great to see the colleagues; at the beginning I didn’t remember a thing of what I had on my plate one week ago, but then it came back. I am all over the place, feeling one moment normal, one moment awful, but working is great. I really hope to get my ticket to join the rads club straight away but I don’t dare to hope too much in case the fate hears and bangs me on my head out of spite, just because it can. Not sure exactly when I’ll know. Soon-ish, I guess?
I got pulled (hadn’t happened in months, the drama and tragedy must be making me intriguing [sarcasm]) in a Pret by someone whose sister has BC; I got a connection request on linkedin (!!!) by a BC nurse (couldn’t be more unrelated to my job; how on Earth… ?). That’s too much. I need a few days away from the whole topic (but happy to keep chatting about stuff).
goodnight ladies xxx
mael
Girls its not a date i’m on Friday. Just fellow cancer patients wanting to share their experiences! Lol i wish although i always indulge in a bit of talent spotting at the hospital! well it bides the time. Funny bedtime story for you. On the day of my op a young surgeon came in to see me and said he was training and did I mind him watching my
op. I said that was fine and then he walked out behind the curtain. My twin sister who was with me said to me in a rather loud voice ’ Corrr he’s a bit of allright. I really fancy him!!!’ He then came back round blushing profusely while he done some pre op checks. I was so embarrassed as he thought i had said it. Before leaving he said to me ’ and you’re not too bad yourself!’ We did laugh just what i needed to calm the old pre op nerves. That and a truck load of diazepam !!! Goodnight girls xxxx
Evening dee and mael! Hope you’re both as perky and positive as usual x weather like this helps!
just got my results today and good news for me, no further surgery clear margins and no evidence in the nodex they removed. Now the wait for rads and starting tamoxifen
am very happy but anxiety levels high after doing the research into the side effects of the drugs. Dee, are you taking anything…?
Positive thoughts to you both
sheena xx
Hi Girls,
Sheena i’m having a wine to celebrate thats great news!!! Rads are ok and my initial tiredness has gone. As for tamoxifen no side effects as yet and i’m very pre menopausal!!!
No hot flashes, night sweats nothing!!! The oncs have said if I tolerate tamoxifen well they are putting me on Zoladex for 2 years just to make sure it doesn’t come back.
Soooo happy for you Sheena. You go girl xxxxx
Mael do let us girls know when u find out tomorrow. I really feel for you and remember we are there for you no matter what. Love and hugs girls xxxxxx
Haha like your style June. And you’re coming to London for our meet up! This sense of isolation is why i set group at my hospital The Royal Marsden Chelsea. We’ll have some laughs. Cos girls we’ve got some living to do. And quite frankly i’m bored stiff staring at the four walls!!! Xxxx
Mine were both covered but i’ve only had female radiologists. Well heres to the Rads Social Club tomorrow. June l’ll let u know how i get on on my ‘Date’ . Lol. Hes in his mid thirties and his mums with him and my twin will be with me! Aaaahhh bless !!! Xxxx Sqeet dreams girls xxxx
Ladies thank you for your encouragement and kind heartfelt words.
Mael, wishing you all the best luck for tomorrow, you’re an intelligent woman and you can take this on, we’re right here for you no matter what x
Dee, I’m having a cheeky big glass of wine as well!
Kim, again, thanks for making me feel a little bit better about drugs
I’ve never been properly unwell in my life, I’m 52, and the only op I had before this was c section 22years ago, and the very thought of having to take drugs for the next 5years is so unatural but I will and I will bloody well come out smiling at the other end
women power!!
sheena
Agree with Kim really thinking of you today Mael. Hope u get positive news. Sending you massive hugs xxxxDee
Afraid it’s not terribly good news. I have 3 out of 5 positive nodes, and with proper metastasis. They will check for metastasis elsewhere and then decide a treatment plan. If no metastasis, then full node clearance (I am not thrilled about it tbh), otherwise we’ll see.
Gals, I need to get really drunk! I am not feeling positive about it, at all. I am fine with dying, totally (I know it sounds insane, but I’ve had an interesting, adventurous life and I am pretty sated, despite my relatively young age) but I absolutely want to minimise the damage from now to that point, and enjoy myself as unrelentingly as I possibly can, and understand the meaning of it all (lost cause, but always worth a shot). So I want to pick and choose the therapies carefully. Nothing invasive, nothing painful, no matter how good for me it is.