Welcome to the forum @lulu78 . Please don’t apologise for how you are feeling , having cancer in any form shakes you to the core and makes you feel very vulnerable . We have all had times when we feel scared /anxious / low either during or after treatment . My GP said to me when I was apologising for being an anxious wreck and needing Valium just to get through the day “ you can’t underestimate the impact being faced with your own mortality has “ . As Tili said give yourself time don’t expect to be back to yourself as if nothing has happened - that’s unrealistic .
You might appreciate the “ Mountain Lion “ story that depicts how everyone is affected by a cancer diagnosis no matter what stage or type . Hoping you feel better soon , come chat here - we’ve all had dark times dealing with this 
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