Hiyer !
My fear of surgery almost stopped me getting my tumour removed, it was overwhelming and like you it was my first GA. I’ve written about it a few times on here before…and I should just keep a copy to post when others say they are terrified, as it does come up far more than you’d think. After hysteria, terror, panic, trying to read up on the surgeries and the GAs, asking questions on here, considering avoiding surgery (seriously ! bad move, the outcome would never be good from that), trying to find a hypnotherapist…I told my surgeon/BCN and the nurse doing the post-op checks that I really needed to speak to the Anaethetist. I explained I had a phobia of medication (your triggers and fears might be slightly different) and only by asking questions of and understanding the GA could I begin to process it.
I honestly believed that I would die under the GA, I totally believed it…but if you think about the logic…how out of perspective is that ? You have the most highly skilled medic possible (they train much longer than anybody else and do continual training updates and are highly regulated and checked) in an Anaethetist, who is watching your every stat constantly. They are checking every single aspect of your body is responding as it should, they know if there are any minor problem, they address any minor problem, they can deal with major problems if they were to occur and have the meds and resources right there to deal with anything unexpected. When else in your life do you have someone checking every beat of your heart, every breathe you take, every aspect of your blood oxygenation ? NEVER, so you are probably more at risk at other times than on that op table. So, I spoke with the anaethetist, and asked all the questions I wanted to. He told me that in his 30 years of practice he’d only had one person who had reacted to the drugs, and they have given something to reverse the effects and they were fine! He said that the types of people they ‘lose’ in surgery are those with lots of comorbidites, who come into surgery with desperate situations like horrific accidents or in such a poor condition that its real major emergency stuff. Thats NOT a BC operation, which is elective, and you will be checked in terms of your general health before going in. Basically, I got all my questions out, and whilst I was still pretty damned nervous I came to the point of acceptance - that I had a massive chance statistically of being fine during the surgery, but I certainly had little chance if I left a Grade 3 cancer in my body. There are thousands and thousands of operations happening across the country, in every hospital, all day and everyday…people ‘not making it’ is rare and in quite specific circumstances. If people were dropping like flies you’d be hearing about it, as we all know many people who have had various operations.
The other important factor about this surgery (I was told), is that it is a ‘low risk of complication’ surgery. Its not going into a major organ, or inside the trunk of the body, or the brain, or the heart, its a part of the body that is right on the outside, separate. I hesitate to use the word ‘non-essential’, but I can’t think how else to describe breast tissue (obviously it feels essential for many psychologically). I’m not sure I’m being that clear…its an area where there won’t for example be impacts on other organs both during and after surgery.
You could ask if you too can speak with your/an anaethetist ? Ask all your questions ? Or at least ask them of the surgeon, who will know the answers too. I know its Friday you are due at the hospital, but you could ring tomorrow and see if they could set up a telephone convo ? I am more than happy to chat more with you about this on private message or here on this thread.
My positive story - I reacted to nothing at all they used. I woke up in recovery and had biscuits and tea within 10 minutes. My throat was a bit sore for 24 hours from the tube, and I was mega tired that night partly from the GA but partly from the weeks of fear I had put myself through.
Nobody of course knows after surgery how their healing will go, and if there will be a few blips, if it’ll be swimmingly easy or take a few more bits of help from the surgeon/BCN or a GP. However, it’ll be done and dusted well before Christmas, and thats a good thought isn’t it - you can go into Christmas with the surgery done, the worry of it and the surgery gone. I think it would be much worse to spend Xmas thinking you still had it to come.
What other fears are in your head - write them here and maybe others can help too ?
x