Tamoxifen or not, need advice

Hi, 

I am 62 years old, live on my own, in theory I still have a full time job and I am an amputee.

in 2012 I was diagnosed with invasive hormone receptive breast cancer stage 3 and had 6 months of chemo followed by surgery (mammoplasty and node clearance) and radiotherapy.  I was prescribed tamoxifen and took it for maybe a year but then stopped, I honestly can’t remember why!

Last July I found a lump in the same breast and this was diagnosed as another stage 3 cancer.  My surgeon said I needed a mastectomy and that should be enough. For various reasons I needed to delay the surgery so he prescribed letrozole.  Within a couple of days I was like a zombie and by September I was on reduced hours at work as the brain fog was so bad. 
I had my surgery in November and then it was suggested I see an oncologist.  I ended up with the same one as the first time,  I am SO angry with myself for not saying that I really didn’t like this oncologist! 

I also had the test to check risk of reoccurrence and that came out as high medium.  I saw the oncologist who basically said all I needed was tamoxifen and to try it for 6 weeks to see how the side effects were.   A couple of weeks later I mentioned to my surgeon that I felt uncomfortable with this oncologist and he sent me to see another one.  

The new oncologist was completely different and absolutely clear that in his view I was high risk and that chemo was needed followed by hormone blockers and zoledronic acid.

So here I am chemo all done. Chemo was horrendous - apparently it’s worse second time around but luckily it was only 4 rounds.

So now he wants me to start tamoxifen.  I have also had a dexa scan which showed very bad osteoporosis in my lower spine.   The thing is I just don’t want to take the tamoxifen, the side effects of letrozole and anastrozole have terrified me.  I felt so ill and the effects took months to wear off.

It just seems to me that my body needs the estrogen and blocking it just makes me feel ill.  I have given almost 2 years to this illness over the last 10 years and I just want my life back.

but then I think why go through the chemo etc and just stop at this last hurdle, only one pill a day. 

So confused but also so sure I am not brave enough to risk feeling so bad again.

Hi Kipper107

I cant really give you any advice but felt I needed to give you a big virtual hug for all you have been through I am currently still having chemo and then will be having radiotherapy (not sure how much yet) there as also been mention of Tamoxifen. It can scare you to death reading all the side effects of these drugs but at the end of the day we all have a choice to make, and its so hard. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make. X

The fact your cancer recurred may be because you stopped taking the tamoxifen . It may not . . But now it has recurred it would be high stakes indeed not to take hormone blockers . Especially as it is stage 3 .
Oestrogen is not good for anyone who has the hormone receptor BC . It literally feeds cancer cells . Please take the meds and listen to the team .