Telling my family

I would be grateful for any advice on this difficult task.

I have a mother who is in her late 80s and not in the best of health and a daughter of 27 who is away at University.

I was only diagnosed at the breast clinic on Thursday and so am doing the wait of 2 weeks for biopsy results and treatment plan.

I have decided that I am going to try my hardest to keep this to myself until I know what I am dealing with and what treatment I will need (I have been told it will definitely include mastectomy), so that when I tell them at least I will be able to talk about how it is going to be dealt with.

But I am struggling to think how best to do this.

Any advice would be very gratefully received. Thank you

Hi Kaz, it’s very difficult to break the news to family and at first I kept it all to myself as I wanted to protect my fami,y from it. My mum had recently lost my dad to prostate cancer and I was so worried about telling her as she also had bc herself. However, she has been amazing and has been a great support to me. I am currently having chemo so my two sons (20 and 18)know exactly what is happening.  I soon realised that I needed my family and support so telling them was the best thing I could have done. Have  you got someone you can talk to f you are waiting for results before telling your family. This really is something you can’t do alone. 

The waiting for results and treatment is th most difficult part of the process and I have found it best to be completely honest with my family. They know it’s tough but they also know that hopefully once treatment is finished I should be around for a fair while.

use the forum for support. It has really helped me.

lots of love,

claire xxx


Hi Kaz


I think this is the worst time of all when you have only just found out that you have bc and your head is spinning trying to take it all in.  My advice is to just tell your family straight because you won’t be able to hide it for long from your mother or your daughter. You could wait until your daughter is on a break from Uni in case she is in the middle of exams or assignments but that is up to you. I felt really scared at first but I am due to have my second post-op mammogram in a few months and honestly I feel fine. Having treatment is a long haul but hopefully you too will have a positive outcome at the end of it.  Best wishes.

Hi Kaz, sorry you find yourself here but welcome anyway, its the biggest shock ever when you are first diagnosed and I think trying to keep it to ourselves as much as possible initially is our way of having some time to process what’s happening, apart from my husband and my best friend I told no one until biopsy Results confirmed things, then I only told those I felt needed to know like our sons and close family, it’s never been up for public consumption on social media and everyone who does know has respected my right to privacy, it’s hard enough without constant pity from everyone, I didn’t have chemo so it was easier to hide for me, just do what feels comfortable for you, there is no need for a public announcement and you tell only who you want to, I’m a year on now and about to have my first check up and I won’t be telling anyone about that either other than my husband! Wishing your results are a good as the can be Xx Jo