Barryfan, I am like you, I live on my own, my children have both left home. I sat in my car outsde the breast centre & cried my eyes out when I was told the dx. I had all sorts of thoughts going round my head, how will I get through this, scared of the op, scared of the treatment, scared I would lose my job & house. But you have to take a step at a time, trust your doctors to do the right things for you, I didnt wont to know too much details about the type of cancerI had, just how to get rid of it. My bcn said a very positive thing to me after I had had a wle, she said you dont have cancer anymore its in the bucket!!.I have tried to hold on to that thought as Ive been having my chemo.Just take 1 step at a time, take as much support & help from family & friends as you can, you will need them, dont do this on your own, all the ladies on here are a god send, they have helped me when Ive been down. I would also say ring the help line tomorrow, I did & they were great. Lots of hugs, you will get through this xx
Hi Barryfan,
Am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and you having to join us, but welcome to the forum.
I can only echo really what has been said above - you are in the worst part at the moment, the waiting for a treatment to get going. It won’t seem like it at the moment but things really do get better once you get started on your treatment plan. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. And as others have said, use the support and help here…ask any questions, and talk about how you are feeling.
I was diagnosed in April last year, aged 36 - and like you, single with no children. So can really understand what you mean about feeling alone and wishing there was some-one to hold you. It doesn’t feel like it at the moment, but you WILL get through this. Once you do feel up to telling family and friends, then let them help you. I was in a similar position in that I didn’t want to tell my parents, sister and brother straight away as my dad had been very unwell and sister was just about to have a baby. But when you feel ready to tell family and friends, then let them help and support you. It is difficult, as part of you wants to protect them, but they will want to be able to help and support you, so let them do that. And as others said, use the support here…we have all been through it/are going through what you are so please don’t feel alone.
You asked about how to get through tonight - in the early days I found watching dvds as you mentioned helpful (series/boxsets were good as found it hard to concentrate on films), reading mags (again couldn’t concentrate on books in the beginning), and at night when I couldn’t sleep used to have music on or the tv, as found too much quiet made my mind race more. Not sure if this is useful, but just things that I found helpful.
Thinking of you, take care,
Siobhan xx
Things to do while feeling frantic - I’m sure there are loads of people on here who have beautifully clean and tidy houses, having gone into full spring-cleaning mode just to give themselves something to do! (Sadly, I wasn’t one of them and my house still looks like its usual bombsite.)
Reading trashy books is another good distraction. Don’t bother trying to read anything that requires a lot of thought, it probably won’t stay in your head.
Others have found the lack of sleep around the time of diagnosis really debilitating and have been to their GP for some help sleeping. That might be something you could do with, but only you can say, it might be that you can get back some sensible sleep pattern.
Hi,
I was diagnosed on 5th May (and have posted to the Younger Women’s forum) and am due to have Lumpectomy on the 25th.
I keep thinking that I should be reacting differently, I read all of the posts on the site and the advice and comments and they are wonderful and positive and helpful. But i’m not feeling scared, or upset or anything. My appraoch is practical and positive. I will be okay and so will you!
Nobody can make you feel better with a single comment but you can at least know that you are not alone!!
It seems as though we are at roughly the same stage so if you want to personal message me I can be the ying to your yang and hopefully spread some positive feelings your way!
HI ,
had a mastectomy 6 days ago and truly it wasn’t that bad!!! I was PETRIFIED!! Never had surgery before , HATED the idea of staying over night , a total bascket case.
But everyone was so nice and easy going! I’m not used to attention- I didn’t know how to behave. My roommates were a laugh and very kind. We all felt the same . To be honest I had a nice time there ! Realy! The surgery is weird but remarkably little pain. They take amazingly good care of you.Anasthetic isn’t very nice - but at the same time you just DON"T have to deal with what happens ! FAB.Gavescon dealt with the nausea for me.Drank about 900 jugs of water,peed a river.
Back home ;Get in loads of groceries and remember grocery delivery .And some amusing ,low stress books .I havn’t eaten much , I’ve slept a lot . Read , wafted about …don’t feel to bad .
All the best to you,let people care for you ,let everything go for a few weeks . It’s all so sudden , we need time to slowly get our heads around it. I havn’t yet. But the Medical side is well in hand by wonderfull , caring professionals you can trust .
warm regards , osprey