Terrifying shock. When do I tell my parents

Hi, I was just given my first biopsy results yesterday, Monday. I live a couple of hours away from my family. How and when do you tell parents??

Im 39. They don’t know anything. Not even that I found a lump. I am travelling to see them in the next few days for an family event. 

How and when do you say these things? 

Hi bee1234,

I don’t think there is one right answer to when you tell your parents (or anyone). You are still trying to get your head round it all yourself. For me, I let my dad know by phone, as soon as the GP referred me for tests. I lost my mum last year to a different cancer so there was never going to be a good time to tell family, so I just didn’t delay & for me it helped getting their emotional support from the start. I am sorry you find yourself on this journey. I hope you will be given a treatment plan soon xx

Hi @bee1234  

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis.

I was diagnosed during lockdown so I couldn’t physically visit my Mum to tell for a few weeks. My partner said I should ring and tell her ASAP, but I felt in my gut that I should wait to tell her face to face - which is what I did. She told me afterward she was glad we were together when I told her.  We were able to hug and have a cry together. And she also said she was able to see that I was ok, which gave her strength. 

As @AnnieV  said. There is no right answer. You know your family best, so I would say to go with what you feel would be best for you and for them.

Good luck,

Catherine