Oh Mounties, that could be me you’re describing! I’m afraid I’ve no answers but you’ve made me feel so much better knowing that it’s not just me who feels like this. Even though I’m never “in the mood” these days I would try for the sake of my husband but then it hurts so much it upsets my husband that he’s hurting me & it all ends in tears. So frustrating! Like you I couldn’t care less if I never had sex again but then the issue is ruining our relationship. It’s a vicious circle & I wish someone would come up with the answer
Thanks for getting back to me and letting me know i am not alone in feeling frustrated at the lack of help available to us survivors.
It is so unfair that we can have reconstruction, counselling, tons of hormone tablets. But nothing to give us back our sex life. Even though that is the one thing that would make us feel complete as a woman again.
When you go to your Gp or consultant, you get the comment “well you’re alive”. That is the most wonderful gift to be given your life back, but we are still young and we still want to be the same person we were before breast cancer. Not some dried up old prune as i often feel.
Maybe one day a Dr will actually take our needs seriously and come up with a solution. Lets hope it’s not too far away.
My sex drive came back after I finished chemo in May 2010, I’m tripple neg so not taking any meds. Trouble is my OH has refused to have sex since my diagnosis in Oct 09. He says I’m not well enough! I don’t know if he is turned off by my breast (have had mastectomy in 09 and recon this summer), or he is worried that I am too fragile.
It’s a problem for me, but not for him!
I have no idea what the answer is too be honest.
I am still the same two a bit years on - no sex drive at all.
But, i know that only having a partially reconstructed breast is mostly to blame - and probably will be until all surgery is over and done with.
I’m sorry Naz that you feel your problem is down to your reconstruction still being under progress. I had a LD recon 2 years ago and i am sorry to say it has made no difference to my sex drive or sex life.
To the outside i have 2 boobs again. But that’s it. My new bood has no feeling, no sensitivity. Just sits there and plays the part of a boob.
Maybe we all have to accept this is it. We are given our lives back and second chances to do it right this time. But we can’t have it all, cancer has to keep 10% of the battle and in our cases it’s our sex drive.
Hi Mounties
You are so so right. I doubt nmy new boob will do anything…there will be no feeling or sensation, like you say, it will play the part of a boob only…
I don’t know what to think, to the outside world, all is well, except for me, where it is not.
Cancer has taken enough, my body will never be the same again, ever.
