The earth moved yesterday

Some may know that my sex life appeared to be over after my husband had an enlarged prostate and rezum surgery which was carried out in lockdown after he’d been using urinary catheters for maybe one to two years.

So I wasn’t sure why nothing was doing on the sex front, but we didn’t  talk about it and then I got diagnosed with breast cancer had a diep reconstruction, found out I may or may not have lympho vascular invasion and started on letrozole, AdCal3 and zolendronic acid infusions.

But having read of the drastic effect letrozole can have on oestrogen and on sexual encounters, I decided to gird my loins and discuss this issue with my husband. Shortly after my diep surgery for some reason I formed a bond with  the nurses coming to see me every hour or so to check my flap was alive (I could have been dead of course, but the flap needed to live).

I disclosed that I got married for sex. I am not sure whether they believed this given my ancient age. Nor maybe did they want to know! But anyway it turned out married people get no more sex than anyone else.

I had read some terrible stories on here so I was determined to carry out an experiment. This followed a day out to the Bannatyne’s health club we’ve joined for a year. It has a swimming pool, hot tub, dry heat room etc etc. So my husband sped up and down and did a mile swim. I went up and down and did 20 lengths as I am fairly useless as a swimmer but it helped my left arm cording (breast stroke) which since I have been there has improved quite a bit. 

After this trip out we returned and discussed rekindling the non existent sex life. In a couple of weeks I am due to have a telephone consultation with an oncologist about the letrozole, adcal3 and zoledronic acid regime I am meant to be on for the next three years, then letrozole and adcal3 up to 2027. Possibly longer. 

So I thought if I am going to say it’s ruining my sex life I had better have one. A sex life that is, so my husband and I had decided that the appointed time was to be from 3.30 to 4 pm yesterday. No longer as the dog has to have its food at 4 pm.

We used a lot of lube which I got on Amazon years ago but which still gives quite a good slime. People of a nervous disposition look away now. We used two positions, private message me for further details. We were both covered in lube in certain key areas.

It hurt a bit to start, well quite a lot (for me) really!. But we decided to carry on and once the lube was better distributed and we were a bit less stressed out, things improved a lot. In fact I have to say it was very successful indeed. I made sure I drank a lot of water immediately after we stopped (3.55 pm) and went for a wee. I noticed a slight pinkish tinge on my underwear at some time after, so i may have bled a tiny bit, so I kept up the water drinking regime for the evening.

Today all is well. I have kept three vagifem tablets from 2022 so I put one up me today, but the formula is so low in oestrogen now it may make no difference.

The lube did work so we’re going to have another encounter next Monday afternoon, and then the week after so we are ready for 15 Feb telephone appointment with my oncologist. 

Seeing as I have now proved that despite low oestrogen I can still enjoy a bit of how’s your father, and even cope with quite painful start to sex, I am going to keep experimenting. Overall it was pleasurable - and more exciting than watching afternoon tv.

I want to believe that the impact of vaginal atrophy can be lessened if there’s a will there. I hope this post won’t give anyone nightmares.



Your post made me smile :two_hearts:

I was slightly worried about the dog ?. Well done for fitting it in around the kibble. 

Hey @Seagulls   - I’m wondering if you ought to contact “Bannatynes” to arrange a “deal”/commission. Add to their advertising “Not only do we improve your “fitness”, but according to Seagulls, improve your sex life too”!!! 

I’m also wondering, if the Forum needs to issue a warning prior to your posts on here - ““X” Rated content”. Ha Haaa! I’m teasing you!!! All Brill stuff, girl. Let us know how your next personal appointment/rendezvous goes? I’m on tenterhooks, or should that be “fingertips” !!!

Delly  XX   

Thank you for your post. I found it very helpful and thank you for being practical as well as honest. Please keep posting - there’s not enough honesty about these issues - I have certainly struggled with a sexual relationship since my bc treatments and feel encouraged to have another attempt since reading your post. 

@Seagulls  Thank you so much for this thread. This stuff needs talking about, so thanks for being the one to bring it up. I’m bookmarking it so I don’t forget all the good advice, highs and lows,

I happened to be in Tesco Extra Hastings on Saturday and i saw a few sex aids there when I was buying my ibuprofen for joint pain (thanks Letrozole). Anyway, I saw they didn’t look too disgusting but whether I would put them in my shopping trolley at Tescos is another matter… blimey what a prude I must be (secretly).

I think buying from Amazon under a plain wrapper might be more palatable but they could promise more than they deliver. Any field tests welcome if you know what I mean.

Flying off soon